Adam Kay

His books were dreadful, and as a midwife I would have hated working with him.
So misogynistic and dismissive of women's rights generally.

I wouldn't have finished the book if I wasn't reading it for a book club, I really hated it.

I chucked his book on the fire, (fortunately I hadn't actually paid for the steaming pile of misogyny) I wouldn't even contemplate putting it in the charity bag. Nasty, misogynist man.

There have been many threads about those dreadful women as well. He's just the most recent person to talk about it.

If none of the other options work for them, then they can't become parents. You can't buy and sell human beings.

Well you can, but you shouldn't.

Do you genuinely disagree with that? You support the buying and selling of human beings?

Ah, all of the above have also been called out on here. Fair dos.
The hypocrisy/double standard there rise I can see, I guess that's why he has kept it quiet until now.
I did offer to be a surrogate once (not for money), as I couldn't bear to see the pain someone was going through. Perhaps that has coloured my view. I am aware that altruistic surrogacy is rare compared with commercial and the arguments regarding my body/my choice - as with sex work - don't work for those who have no choice and are vulnerable/exploited.

Unpopular opinion but surrogacy as a choice is a bit gross? | Mumsnet
Another Kardashian ksurrogacy | Mumsnet
Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra Surrogacy | Mumsnet
FFS re. Hilaria & Alec Baldwin and normalisation of surrogacy | Mumsnet
Rebel Wilson has had her first child via surrogate | Mumsnet
So upset by commercial surrogacy | Mumsnet
To feel uncomfortable with celebrity surrogacy? | Mumsnet
Nicole Kidman has another baby | Mumsnet
Surrogacy makes me very uncomfortable | Mumsnet
Sarah Jessica Parker expecting twins through a surrogate | Mumsnet

If you want to know what a sensitive, caring human being he is, read the lyrics to songs such as 'Your Baby', 'Menstrual Rag', or 'Nothing at All'.

100% this, he's a raging misogynist.

He reminds me of someone I knew as a student who was similarly uncompassionate (if that's a word??). He openly admitted that he wanted to be a doctor for the power trip and the intellectual challenge of the exams. Helping and healing people had absolutely nothing to do with it and I thought of him many times as I was reading Adam Kay's book.

I wouldn't have finished the book if I wasn't reading it for a book club, I really hated it.

Here's an interesting fact about the delightful Dr Adam Kay:

'The Mail on Sunday can reveal that, while he worked for the NHS, Kay wrote parody songs with his colleague Dr Suman Biswas that were performed at the Edinburgh Fringe.

The duo released an album called Fitness To Practice in 2004 including the song Your Baby, which features the lyrics: 'Your baby has Trisomy/ You shouldn't have kids at 53/ He'll have severe mental retardation/ How would you feel about a termination?'

The next verse says: 'A bit of a mong your baby/ Your baby has trisom, it's what he will die from/ Your baby's got trisomy.''

From www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10506277/amp/This-Going-Hurt-author-Adam-Kay-sang-vile-songs-Downs-syndrome-baby.html

The main difference I see between Adam May and the famous women who also use surrogates is that he claims he left his job because he couldn’t bear the sadness of losing babies and/or mothers. BUT when it came to him wanting something that he couldn’t have ‘naturally’ he was fine for 2 separate women to potentially become one of those sad cases that he left his job to get away from.

And I am not excusing the women who have used surrogates either. I know one famous woman (can’t remember which unfortunately) who has used a surrogate has openly said that she couldn’t spare the time and the stress that a pregnancy would put on their body. So how important was actually having a child then?

No one is entitled to be a parent, life is unfair and unfortunately some people can’t accept this.

Someone mentioned above that Adam Kay quit medicine because he could not cope with mothers and babies dying when he worked in obstetrics. I find it interesting that, as a medic, the responsibility/pressure/guilt in that situation was too much for him, but now he CAN cope with the risk of women and babies dying when it comes to buying a baby (two babies!).

His responsibility as a "commissioning parent" is different in kind, not in degree, from his responsibility as a doctor. But money creates the illusion of consent, and he can wrap himself up in that lie.

As other posters said, surprised but not surprised. Disgusted.

I agree with you, @TheCountessofFitzdotterel His sexuality is completely irrelevant.

Agreed.

His books are pretty misogynistic, so not an enormous surprise.

'No-one is 'owed' parent hood, it is not a right whatever your sexual orientation.'

Quite right. Surrogacy is appalling, whatever the circumstances. No excuses. Shame on him and his husband

Of course it is! It's a huge sense of entitlement from all the above. Unless you think (which would mystifying) that everyone has a right to be a parent, just because that's what they want.

Indeed

the whole premise is flawed

I saw this reported in the Guardian this morning. It included quotes about the babies from his DID episode, all of which seemed to translate as 'me me me me me'. Awful

Unless you see it is a sense of entitlement from him and also from the nine women mentioned above.

well yes, obviously

using women’s bodies and buying humans is never going to be the right thing to do, is it?

So how do gay men become fathers then OP?

No-one is 'owed' parent hood, it is not a right whatever your sexual orientation.

I've always thought he was a misogynistic twat since reading This Is Going to Hurt. Hearing he has two children born through surrogacy that are 4 months apart in age - talk about hedging your bets! It's pregnancy reduced to a blatant financial transaction.

Man who has seen first hand the dangers of pregnancy and childbirth for women pays to have a woman/women risk those dangers because he wants babies. No thought for the child either, just I want, I must get Selfish, immoral and unethical man.

Surrogacy in all forms should be banned worldwide.

I’m surprised to read that. I got the impression from This is Going to Hurt that he never wanted children of his own.

So how do gay men become fathers then OP?
There are only a few options that I can see. Fostering/adoption/sister of one using the other's sperm - so surrogacy but without money changing hands/female friend offering the same/shared custody with a lesbian couple using their sperm.
Perhaps none of those were possible.
I think it's fair to say you don't agree with commercial surrogacy for anyone, full-stop. Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Priyanka Chopra, Lucy Liu, Rebel Wilson, Sarah Jessica Parker, Nicole Kidman, Amber Heard and Tyra Banks could all have a similar thread started about them then?
I am not sure that his previous job and knowledge of the risks should stop him wanting to become a father, especially since he had experienced the loss of a child with his ex-wife. Unless you see it is a sense of entitlement from him and also from the nine women mentioned above.

I seem to remember him being sneery and superior about women when that came out.

Threads on Elon Musk - straight, pro free speech, realistic about gender ID and anti-paedo - usually also criticise his use of a surrogate.

Being gay doesn't negate the trauma inflicted on the baby or the inherent misogyny of purchasing a woman's body.

Accusations of homophobia and transphobia are just current ways to get women to stfu about their rights. And they work precisely because our rights are so precarious.

@WhatNoRaisins I can't get my head around someone that actually saw a women bleed to death in childbirth putting a woman through that risk unnecessarily.

I too was really shocked when he mentioned surrogacy as was convinced he must have adopted after the trauma he’d suffered as a Dr. I’d love him to have explained the mystifying decision to put two women through childbirth, so he could have a baby.