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AIBU?

Unpopular opinion but surrogacy as a choice is a bit gross?

161 replies

Janedoe95 · 25/01/2023 19:38

I was just reading about Paris Hilton and obviously i don’t know the full story but it seems like she just used a surrogate because her friends do for convenience.

obviously if you have no choice I completely understand but if it’s just because pregnancy is hard I think it’s a bit wrong taking a newborn baby away from the only person they’ve known for 9 months

especially as pregnancy itself prepares you to care for a newborn and changes your brain for that purpose.

am I just being very judgmental

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

ComfortablyDazed · 25/01/2023 19:39

No, YANBU.

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Namechanger355 · 25/01/2023 19:39

Is this an unpopular opinion?!

yes agree with you. It’s using another woman’s organs for money

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takealettermsjones · 25/01/2023 19:40

That is not an unpopular opinion on Mumsnet.

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VestaTilley · 25/01/2023 19:41

YANBU at all, and as surrogacy goes more mainstream we’re going to see more women waking up to what a horrific practice it is.

It’s human trafficking. It shouldn’t be legal. Buying a baby off its mother, commodifying human lives and pregnancy, treating women like vessels, ignoring the often awful impact of pregnancy and birth on mothers, the damage of taking a baby away from its mother - the list is endless.

It should be illegal in every country. It’s the height of misogyny and is no good for women or children.

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CalistoNoSolo · 25/01/2023 19:41

But Paris Hilton is a fuckwit, so what do you expect?

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OnlyFannys · 25/01/2023 19:41

You think that's an unpopular opinion based on the paris Hilton thread? Did you read literally any of the comments? 😂

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BillyBobsFringe · 25/01/2023 19:41

Of course it's gross. Especially when it's paid surrogacy.

It's the rich paying for the use of the bodies of the poor.

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RosieLemonadeAndSugar · 25/01/2023 19:42

From what I've read they've been through IVF and had fertility issues for a while.

While I don't wholeheartedly agree with surrogacy, I think it's wonderful of those who did it for others.

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TheOriginalEmu · 25/01/2023 19:42

No one is forcing anyone to be a surrogate though are they? If a woman chooses to do it, who are we to say she shouldn’t?
i find it interesting you think it’s ok to ‘take a child away from the only person they’ve known for 9 months’ if your reason for surrogate use is infertility of some kind. Why is that any different? It’s either ok to do that or it isn’t.

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getreadyy · 25/01/2023 19:42

Unpopular opinion? Eh 🤔

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Tandora · 25/01/2023 19:43

VestaTilley · 25/01/2023 19:41

YANBU at all, and as surrogacy goes more mainstream we’re going to see more women waking up to what a horrific practice it is.

It’s human trafficking. It shouldn’t be legal. Buying a baby off its mother, commodifying human lives and pregnancy, treating women like vessels, ignoring the often awful impact of pregnancy and birth on mothers, the damage of taking a baby away from its mother - the list is endless.

It should be illegal in every country. It’s the height of misogyny and is no good for women or children.

OP, you’re not being judgmental. This is judgemental.

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LaLuz7 · 25/01/2023 19:43

Commercial surrogacy is basically renting out a human to use as incubator. Paying a woman to take on all the pain and risk of pregnancy on your behalf.

It's despicable.

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ComfortablyDazed · 25/01/2023 19:44

TheOriginalEmu · 25/01/2023 19:42

No one is forcing anyone to be a surrogate though are they? If a woman chooses to do it, who are we to say she shouldn’t?
i find it interesting you think it’s ok to ‘take a child away from the only person they’ve known for 9 months’ if your reason for surrogate use is infertility of some kind. Why is that any different? It’s either ok to do that or it isn’t.

Oddly, it’s not a ‘choice’ financially comfortable women tend to make…

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WindscreenWipe · 25/01/2023 19:45

BillyBobsFringe · 25/01/2023 19:41

Of course it's gross. Especially when it's paid surrogacy.

It's the rich paying for the use of the bodies of the poor.

Isn’t that literally what a huge numbers of jobs are? Builders, plumbers, gardeners, cleaners…

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LaLuz7 · 25/01/2023 19:45

TheOriginalEmu · 25/01/2023 19:42

No one is forcing anyone to be a surrogate though are they? If a woman chooses to do it, who are we to say she shouldn’t?
i find it interesting you think it’s ok to ‘take a child away from the only person they’ve known for 9 months’ if your reason for surrogate use is infertility of some kind. Why is that any different? It’s either ok to do that or it isn’t.

Poverty forces women into surrogacy all the time. Why do you think the Ukraine is a major baby factory hub?

Ever seen rich women queuing up to carry babies for poor infertile women? Me neither...

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ComfortablyDazed · 25/01/2023 19:46

Tandora · 25/01/2023 19:43

OP, you’re not being judgmental. This is judgemental.

I agree with @VestaTilley and I’m happy to be called judgmental. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 25/01/2023 19:47

That's not an unpopular opinion.

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Zanatdy · 25/01/2023 19:47

I don’t agree with people like Kim, Khloe etc using a surrogate - on Khloe’s part at least it seems not for medical reasons, though we don’t know for sure of course. It’s becoming a bit of a fad isn’t it, and although I don’t agree it’s cruel taking a baby away from the only person they know (as newborn babies just want feeding and to be clean, they don’t care who that is) I think it’s certainly questionable to be paying someone else to take risks with their health and the inconvenience just because you can afford it. No doubt for Khloe so she didn’t have to have sex with Tristan and also so she doesn’t have to start all over with creating the perfect body. It’s pretty disgusting. Unless for health reasons, (and I believe for Kim this could be the case) it’s really grim to pay women to carry your baby.

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Janedoe95 · 25/01/2023 19:48

@OnlyFannys i didn’t see there’s a thread on it? I just seen it on Instagram. I didn’t realise I was f the only one on mumsnet who thought it was wrong but I think online surrogacy isn’t really frowned upon

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Dogdogwoofwoof · 25/01/2023 19:48

Sick to death of reading about celebrities "having" a baby via surrogate. It's wrong on every single level to me, and no, not for a minute do I believe they used a surrogate for any other reason than vanity. Gross.

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Oysterbabe · 25/01/2023 19:49

It's disgusting and should be illegal in every country.

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SnackSizeRaisin · 25/01/2023 19:50

TheOriginalEmu · 25/01/2023 19:42

No one is forcing anyone to be a surrogate though are they? If a woman chooses to do it, who are we to say she shouldn’t?
i find it interesting you think it’s ok to ‘take a child away from the only person they’ve known for 9 months’ if your reason for surrogate use is infertility of some kind. Why is that any different? It’s either ok to do that or it isn’t.

The baby that is removed from it's mother at birth has no choice, that is the problem here. The surrogate mother is hopefully free to choose whether to do it (although I am sure there can be some pretty desperate women doing it)

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feeona123 · 25/01/2023 19:50

She’s 41 so no spring chicken. I don’t think it’s something I could do but I never had any fertility issues.

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Clymene · 25/01/2023 19:51

@WindscreenWipe - if there was a risk assessment, surrogacy would be banned. It's very high risk and the rewards - even in countries where commercial surrogacy is legal - are tiny in comparison.

If men could be surrogates, it would be banned everywhere.

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Dacadactyl · 25/01/2023 19:51

No, YANBU. I think it's disgusting.

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