Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Housekeeper playing music- aibu?

490 replies

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 16:24

I live in a large house on a farm. I have a housekeeper who comes in each day between 10-6.

Today I was in the garden and she drove up to the house and parked outside. I could hear her music which annoyed me because I moved to the country for peace and quiet. It wasn't blasting but I don't want to hear any music while I'm outside.

I told her she's not allowed to play music while she's driving on the farm and she seemed a bit upset and was much quieter than normal. I think that might have to do with her personal circumstances because she's currently getting divorced.

Was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Wishimaywishimight · 22/10/2026 16:26

A little compassion for a woman going through a divorce wouldn't go astray.

IamSmarticus · 22/10/2026 16:27

I take it she was just driving up to your house and not actually sititng in her car for hours listening to music? In which case, YABU. Do you expect all visitors, delivery drivers etc to turn their radio off before approaching your house?

MrsBananaman · 22/10/2026 16:27

FFS she can play music in her own car!!

allmycats · 22/10/2026 16:27

The house-keeper would be wise to turn around and drive away. You are obviously the sort of person who does not know how to treat staff.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 22/10/2026 16:27

You sound like a nightmare. How dare the help make noise

MozzieFreeZone · 22/10/2026 16:28

Yes of course YABU.

Original poster
NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 16:28

She had it playing for a couple of minutes while she was gathering her things.

I think she should have turned it off as soon as she stopped the car.

OP posts:
MozzieFreeZone · 22/10/2026 16:29

You sound very mean.

HaveANiceFuckingDay · 22/10/2026 16:29

Its half term next week that batshit posts are starting already it seems

OtterlyMad · 22/10/2026 16:29

YABU for scolding her like a naughty child. It would have been reasonable to politely ask that she keep the volume down when on your property.

MrsBananaman · 22/10/2026 16:29

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 16:28

She had it playing for a couple of minutes while she was gathering her things.

I think she should have turned it off as soon as she stopped the car.

I truly hope this is a wind up.

She can do whatever she pleases in her own car.

She works for you in your house. Not in her car.

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/10/2026 16:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

nomas · 22/10/2026 16:30

Reverse alert.

Obviously the car music would stop once she’s arrived at your house.

TheFormerMrsTruelove · 22/10/2026 16:30

I told her she's not allowed to play music while she's driving on the farm and she seemed a bit upset and was much quieter than normal. I think that might have to do with her personal circumstances because she's currently getting divorced

I think you’re full of shit.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 22/10/2026 16:31

Staff should be seen and not heard.

Can you put her in the stocks for a few hours? Teach her a lesson.

boxofshite · 22/10/2026 16:31

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 16:28

She had it playing for a couple of minutes while she was gathering her things.

I think she should have turned it off as soon as she stopped the car.

Seriously!

ToKittyornottoKitty · 22/10/2026 16:31

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 16:28

She had it playing for a couple of minutes while she was gathering her things.

I think she should have turned it off as soon as she stopped the car.

Paying her doesn’t mean you own her

TheFormerMrsTruelove · 22/10/2026 16:35

Troll hunting is banned so I’ve reported your post for not being genuine.

On the off chance you’re genuine and trying to do a reverse, it’s a fucking stupid thing to do, nobody ever manages to write a neutral post and it’s bloody annoying. Grow up.

Justploddingonandon · 22/10/2026 16:36

I'd assumed this was going to be a complaint about her listening to music on speaker while doing her work in the house, in which case I'd say you had a point and asking her to use headphones would be reasonable but a couple of minutes while getting out of her own car doesn't seem a big issue.

LuciferOverLancashire · 22/10/2026 16:38

I actually think this is a wind-up

faithfultoGeorgeMichael · 22/10/2026 16:38

This is a rage bait thread again, it's so fucking boring now.
Posh rich stuck up woman denies cleaner basic common courtesy, that'll get the women frothing and upset eh?

grinandslothit · 22/10/2026 16:38

YABU. You are the type of woman who would make sandwiches for the male workers outside but treats the female housekeeper who is in your home 10 6 every single day like gum on your shoe. You clearly need her because that is essentially a full time job but a bit of radio from her car is where you draw the line. And then her being upset gets blamed on her divorce rather than her employer scolding her over nothing. She probably told you about that divorce in confidence and now it is being used against her in a public post as if her feelings could not possibly be about the way you just spoke to her. The double standard is loud. Yes you were being unreasonable.

5289843DM · 22/10/2026 16:41

We recently renovated and were living in a caravan in the front garden. I was surprised how loud car radios are- even with the windows closed! We had 1 workman arrive 30mins early each day. He'd sit in his car with the radio blaring. It would wake me and drove me nuts.

In saying that, this woman had her radio on for a few minutes whilst getting stuff from her car. IF this is even a real post, I do hope she re-considers the arrangement and finds a better employer.

SnippySnappy · 22/10/2026 16:41

This has to be a reverse. Surely.

Sidebeforeself · 22/10/2026 16:47

Reverse threads should be banned.