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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Housekeeper playing music- aibu?

474 replies

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 16:24

I live in a large house on a farm. I have a housekeeper who comes in each day between 10-6.

Today I was in the garden and she drove up to the house and parked outside. I could hear her music which annoyed me because I moved to the country for peace and quiet. It wasn't blasting but I don't want to hear any music while I'm outside.

I told her she's not allowed to play music while she's driving on the farm and she seemed a bit upset and was much quieter than normal. I think that might have to do with her personal circumstances because she's currently getting divorced.

Was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Original poster
NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 18:09

DrBlackbird · 22/10/2026 17:58

This is a rare occasion of an OP asking for feedback, getting the feedback, acknowledging the error of their response based on the mostly reasonable responses, and taking steps to make amends.

That’s all very positive to read and I hope you get help with your hearing 💐

Show quote history

Thank you. In general I'm not a nasty or unreasonable person and genuinely don't know what came over me earlier.

OP posts:
LindaJonesJustCantLiveMYLifeNSoul · 22/10/2026 18:10

Take the serf into the barn
And get Giles the footman
To give her a sound thrashing.
Meanwhile in this century
I hope she bins you.
If this is real of course.

BeatrizBoniface · 22/10/2026 18:10

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 18:07

I have apologized.

She's getting £27ph in North East England. That's £40k a year as well as free accommodation. It's a very good rate.

I asked her about the dentist and she has an appointment at 7:30pm tonight! My husband is going to drive her there and back home.

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Well, it's clear she's got a lot to put up with.
Anyway, I hope it works out for you both.

Vitrolinsanity · 22/10/2026 18:11

BeatrizBoniface · 22/10/2026 18:05

Do you have to work for @NoMusicPlease?
That's my point 😉

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Fair point, I get you now.

Until OP fell on her sword I was hoping for the Ride of the Valkyries on volume 11 for the next arrival 😆

OldPyjamas · 22/10/2026 18:12

I have very severe migraines and had surgery on my ears recently that's left me extremely sensitive to noise. Not all noise, but certain pitches are agony

It'd aggravate me too. I have tinnitus and certain notes and sounds can send it off in a spiral. People wear headphones in my house, unless they don't care that a 2 minute blast of the wrong notes can leave my ears screeching for the rest of the day.

Greenmouldycheese · 22/10/2026 18:14

This reply has been deleted

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Growlybear83 · 22/10/2026 18:14

I think you are possibly the most unreasonable poster Ive ever come across on Mumsnet, OP, and thats rwally saying something. But I’m glad to see thst youve listened to the comments youve received

TheFormerMrsTruelove · 22/10/2026 18:15

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 17:02

I'm not troll hunting or posting this as a reverse.

I'm also not posh.

I have very severe migraines and had surgery on my ears recently that's left me extremely sensitive to noise. Not all noise, but certain pitches are agony.

I think I might have been a bitch to her and she didn't deserve it. I'll apologize and explain why I snapped at her.

I didn’t suggest you were troll hunting. I was suggesting you are a troll because I cannot believe that anyone would think it’s acceptable behaviour to tell someone what they were and weren’t allow to do in their own car, and then be so dense that they would think that she was upset because she was going through a divorce.

You may struggle with loud noise and that’s fair enough. But anything other than politely asking her to keep it down is unacceptable. You’re lucky she didn’t tell you to shove your job up your arse. I strongly suggest you make it a bloody good apology. Either that, or hide your toothbrush before she cleans your bathroom next.

janedoesdallas · 22/10/2026 18:16

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 16:28

She had it playing for a couple of minutes while she was gathering her things.

I think she should have turned it off as soon as she stopped the car.

Not a few minutes!! Omg what a monster!!

Original poster
NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 18:17

janedoesdallas · 22/10/2026 18:16

Not a few minutes!! Omg what a monster!!

Show quote history

Please read all of my posts

OP posts:
Nincompoo · 22/10/2026 18:18

BeatrizBoniface · 22/10/2026 17:52

Really? I don't and I'm sure most people on here wouldn't treat someone like that just because she's the housekeeper and can't bite back.

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Are you telling me you’ve never snapped at someone?

Original poster
NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 18:18

This reply has been deleted

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@Greenmouldycheese

Can you please read all of my posts?

OP posts:
mtobrokeme · 22/10/2026 18:19

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Fiftyandme · 22/10/2026 18:20

Wow.

BeatrizBoniface · 22/10/2026 18:20

Nincompoo · 22/10/2026 18:18

Are you telling me you’ve never snapped at someone?

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Not at an employee who's done nothing wrong.

BeatrizBoniface · 22/10/2026 18:21

Vitrolinsanity · 22/10/2026 18:11

Fair point, I get you now.

Until OP fell on her sword I was hoping for the Ride of the Valkyries on volume 11 for the next arrival 😆

Show quote history

😂😂😂😂 brilliant!

Malasana · 22/10/2026 18:22

Are you paying her for the time she spends driving there and gathering her belongings from her car? If not, at that point she is not yet in work so I don’t see how you think you can tell her what to do.

Greenmouldycheese · 22/10/2026 18:23

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 18:18

@Greenmouldycheese

Can you please read all of my posts?

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Just read them. Its good that you have apologized.

NovaF · 22/10/2026 18:23

She was not upset because she is getting divorced she is getting upset because her employer acted psychotic and asked her to turn her music off the second she is on your land. I hope she gets a job elsewhere with someone who is less controlling.

kittensinthekitchen · 22/10/2026 18:28

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 17:45

I also told her she absolutely must stay off work with full pay until it's sorted. Toothache is bad enough without having to be at work at the same time.

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But who will polish the family silver?

canklesmctacotits · 22/10/2026 18:29

Well done OP. Hope you and she both feel better soon 💐.

SillyG · 22/10/2026 18:29

Are you for real?

Edenmum2 · 22/10/2026 18:31

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 16:28

She had it playing for a couple of minutes while she was gathering her things.

I think she should have turned it off as soon as she stopped the car.

Jesus Christ poor woman

Birdcatdog · 22/10/2026 18:32

.

Grammarnut · 22/10/2026 18:33

HaveANiceFuckingDay · 22/10/2026 16:29

Its half term next week that batshit posts are starting already it seems

Where I live it is half term. OP seems VUB. Who tells the housekeeper what
to do in/around her car? The woman should have packed up and driven away.