Passive aggressive neighbour?

It’s hard to know if YABU or not. She sounds batshit, but equally she could just be at the end of her tether and not feel comfortable in approaching you. How loud is your music and how long does it go on?

Of course you have a right to enjoy your home and that includes playing music, but it shouldn’t come at the expense of your neighbour’s peaceful enjoyment of hers.

It does sound passive aggressive but just go and have a word with her and tell her if your music bothered her you’re sorry and you’ll be more careful in future.

My mum would be the same as your neighbour, the music would drive her crazy.

There's obviously two sides of the story!

The you are unreasonable and have probably been irritating your neighbour for ages. Why would you think music on loud past 11pm is ok?

Yikes. Have you at least stopped the loud music after 9pm now?

It depends. If you have been playing loud music every Saturday night for months /years then they have probably got to the end of their tether and snapped.
Was the music loud ? Are the walls thin? Did you play the music until late in the night? Every weekend?
If so did it not occur to you that it might upset them.

I would dislike you too if you were my neighbour regularly playing very loud music after 2300.

That would drive me crazy. Your poor neighbour.
Did you ever stop and think about how annoying/upsetting it must be for them? They must dread every Saturday.

Yeah, you’re being unreasonable in this case. There’s nothing wrong with listening to music, but don’t subject others to your choice. Having the music at a reasonable volume doesn’t change the lyrics or the enjoyment of the song, so I never understand the need for people to blast their music so loud that others have to hear it as well - it’s arrogant and entitled.

Living in close proximity to others mean that there needs to be respect and consideration on both sides. Your neighbour has clearly reached her limit and is trying to make a point. Not the best way to go about it, but I can see why she did it.

Is this some weird kind of reverse?

YABVVU. Why were you being so anti social?

You are a PITA to your neighbour.

You could stop being a PITA.

I actually love your neighbour. Well done her.

I know, imagine working all week and looking forward to a nice relaxing Saturday evening at home and all you can hear is the tinny screeching music from next door?

I used to live above someone who would blast his shitty techno music and thought of himself as some kind of DJ. It honestly made me murderous.

Basically most Saturdays nights when the kids are with their nan I like to put music on etc.

Well this is nice isn't it?

You wait until your kids are somewhere they won't be disturbed, while you disturb others who you don't particularly care about.

And yes, of course they were being passive aggressive.

Why are you being so antisocial? Sounds like you're the problem neighbour here.
I listen to music all the time, nothing wrong with that, just not loud enough for my neighbours to hear and certainly not late at night. Loud music after 11pm can get you an asbo because it is, well antisocial.
Honestly you're lucky she's passive aggressive rather than downright aggressive, I'd be telling you to STFU, loudly.
There are these amazing inventions called headphones if you like loud music.

Maybe she doesn’t find you very approachable. If someone is willing to be so inconsiderate knowing that the shared walls are thin, in your neighbour’s mind, that person might not take kindly to being called out on their inconsiderate behaviour, because generally those type of people don’t actually care about others.

And she clearly doesn't like you so why would you expect her to approach you?

You know your music is disturbing everyone except your own children.

Oh, one of 'those' neighbours.

Happily blasting music out whenever they feel like it, not a thought to whether anyone else on the street wants to be forced to listen to their shite.

But immediately getting their backs up when it is done back to them... once.

Is it a lack of emotional intelligence?

You are the nightmare neighbour here, not her.

Be more considerate!

I've lived in the same house for over 30 years. For most of it we have had the same neighbours one side until 4 years ago.

For the last 5 years they lived there, she moved a new abusive boyfriend in and blasted music into the early hours most nights, hammered on the walls and screamed insults through. When we tried to speak to the neighbour we had known and gotten on with for 20 years she "knew nothing" of it, despite taking part in some of it, some of it during the pandemic. It ruined our relationship and caused genuine upset of being at home and braced for the next onset.

They haven't lived there for four years and now a young family do with teenagers who also play music into the night which produces some of the same reactions. Thankfully it's not as often as it was abs she does, when you actually get her to answer the door, make an effort to reign the kids in volume wise.

Please don't under estimate how loud music affects people