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AIBU?

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Original poster

Passive aggressive neighbour?

209 replies

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:31

Basically most Saturdays nights when the kids are with their nan I like to put music on etc.

Lasr night one of my NDN was blasting music on my bedroom wall side as well as playing playing some kind of bagpipe.

She also moved manure on the side of her driveway where I walk past with my DC.

We used to get on have a chat about out DC etc but over time she just blanks me.

If the music was bothering her surely she could have just approached me?

Of course I will be more considerate moving forward but is their behaviour passive aggressive?
They have never played music loud enough for me to hear and when I heard it I turned mine off.

Aibu

OP posts:
PineConesAndBerries · 20/09/2026 11:56

At least you now know your music annoyed her enough for her to want to give you a taste of your own medicine

whippersnapper55 · 20/09/2026 11:56

Maybe stop playing loud music later at night and walking on her driveway? You sound like an annoying neighbour.

AngelsWithSilverWings · 20/09/2026 11:58

What does your music need to be so loud? No one needs to play music so loud that the neighbours can hear it unless it's just a one off for a party.

Hellohelga · 20/09/2026 11:58

The bagpipes are a massive clue to what the problem is with DN. Music for 5 solid hours, twice a week is not on. No wonder she doesn’t like you. Pack it in and maybe over time relations will improve.

Malasana · 20/09/2026 11:58

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:46

But surely she could have just approached me about it?

There is also horse manure by her side of the drive where I walk with my DC.
Not very nice.

Edited

It’s her drive. She’ll can put it where she likes. Serves you right for being a noisy neighbour.

nomas · 20/09/2026 11:58

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:46

But surely she could have just approached me about it?

There is also horse manure by her side of the drive where I walk with my DC.
Not very nice.

Edited

Surely if you don’t like the horse manure, you should approach her?

Why is the onus on her to be thoughtful about the manure but you think she should have told you she’s doesn’t like loud music played at night?

MelissaLovedMantari · 20/09/2026 12:02

Five and a half hours of being subjected to someone else's music would drive me insane. Buy some headphones @beanbeery

Thrownunderthebuz · 20/09/2026 12:02

I. Lived in a Terrace like this at least you found out now that you can hear so clearly between you. I had to put up with about a year of ‘ Give it to me Garry” Friday nights were particularly bad think kid went to grandmas .The new neighbours next door phoned the police because they thought she was in distress. Needless to say noises stopped and they moved out

If it’s your own house it tonne it down a bit also look maybe to some sound proofing. B&Q sell some nice panels

Goldengirl123 · 20/09/2026 12:04

You should be more considerate. You must know they could hear your music. She shouldn’t be put in the position of having to ask you to turn it down. You are being unreasonable

cartagenagina · 20/09/2026 12:07

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:46

But surely she could have just approached me about it?

There is also horse manure by her side of the drive where I walk with my DC.
Not very nice.

Edited

She shouldn’t have to.

Yupstillhere · 20/09/2026 12:14

Is this a wind up? You behave like a dick then say your neighbour could tell you if she's bothered. You're playing music late and say you have thin walls, that would fuck anyone off. Buy yourself some headphones and start being considerate.

Bellyblueboy · 20/09/2026 12:15

She can put manure anywhere she wants - it’s odd that you take it personally.

And you have been blasting music every Saturday night knowing the walls are thin.

You are a nightmare neighbor - yes she could have said can you turn that down please - but not everyone wants to approach a neighbour. I have lived next door to aggressive, unpleasant people and asking for a simple courtesy has been met with swearing.

turn your music down.

shhblackbag · 20/09/2026 12:22

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:41

Last month I would say the music has been on about 7 times and last Saturday it was from 6pm - 11:30pm.

I have only been playing music since the summer.
The walls are very thin. Its a terraced house.

I would be so, so annoyed at this. YABU.

Joliefolie · 20/09/2026 12:22

OP, you are questioning why she didn't approach you but equally you are saying you won't approach her. If you want to make this right, you could put a card through her letterbox with a sincere apology for playing music too loudly and saying - and meaning - you will keep it down in future.
You can play whatever music you want in your home, for as long as you want, but to do so at volume that means other people are forced to listen to it in their homes is unbelievably selfish. You don't expose your children to it - why do you think it is ok to inflict it on others?

TightPants · 20/09/2026 12:23

Get some headphones ffs.

bettyrubble99 · 20/09/2026 12:23

Buy some friggin earphones- nobody wants to listen to your music but YOU

MrTiddlesTheCat · 20/09/2026 12:25

Nobody likes listening to their neighbour's music. Nobody. Playing loud enough to bother people until they complain is selfish.

Zucker · 20/09/2026 12:25

5 and a half hours last Saturday and you wonder who is being unreasonable!

I have newish neighbours and 2 years in they are still "renovating" the house. This morning, for the last 3 hours, they have been grinding the walls. Talking to these types does no good, so I'm at the pretending they don't exist stage. It's slowly driving me mad though.

Motnight · 20/09/2026 12:26

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:46

But surely she could have just approached me about it?

There is also horse manure by her side of the drive where I walk with my DC.
Not very nice.

Edited

What did your neighbour say when you approached her about the horse manure, Op?

Daisymail · 20/09/2026 12:27

QuirkyHorse · 20/09/2026 11:53

You are the nightmare neighbour here, not her.

Be more considerate!

This!

AgnesMcDoo · 20/09/2026 12:27

Go round with a box of chocolates today sorry and tell her you didn’t realise it was bothering her and to please just speak to you about it.

you used to get on - much better to try and get it back that way

PilotingAWail · 20/09/2026 12:28

Are you possibly a person who
Can't
Understand
Normal
Thinking?
If so, try a little harder, be more considerate and buy headphones 🎧

Booksandwine80 · 20/09/2026 12:28

Manure and bag pipes? Yeah I’m sure this is real 🙄

shhblackbag · 20/09/2026 12:30

"The walls of my house are really thin, but I've been blasting my music for hours every weekend since the summer." The entitlement is wild.

Original poster
beanbeery · 20/09/2026 12:34

She had put horse manure near my side of the drive before and I could smell it when I opened my windows so I asked them nicely to move it which they did so its defo to annoy me.

OP posts:
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