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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Passive aggressive neighbour?

209 replies

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:31

Basically most Saturdays nights when the kids are with their nan I like to put music on etc.

Lasr night one of my NDN was blasting music on my bedroom wall side as well as playing playing some kind of bagpipe.

She also moved manure on the side of her driveway where I walk past with my DC.

We used to get on have a chat about out DC etc but over time she just blanks me.

If the music was bothering her surely she could have just approached me?

Of course I will be more considerate moving forward but is their behaviour passive aggressive?
They have never played music loud enough for me to hear and when I heard it I turned mine off.

Aibu

OP posts:
Whatyoutalkingabouteh · 21/09/2026 20:51

It seems you obviously know full well you’ve been unreasonable with your music so why is her behaviour the issue?

HandMadeInYorkshire · 21/09/2026 21:12

Sounds to me that you're lucky not to be evicted.

puppysleepdeprivation · 21/09/2026 21:15

Well, that problem's solved (or soon will be)! When your new neighbour moves in, be on your best behaviour in terms of noise levels. Invest in some decent earphones or something. Use this time to think of anything else that may have driven your old neighbour bonkers and avoid those things from now on. When in doubt, ask your other neighbour (or AI, perhaps) if what you're doing or considering doing is acceptable or infuriating. Best of luck! Grin

beanbeery · 21/09/2026 22:59

Well the music is on again tonight, and it is bagpipes on YouTube as I can hear the ads.

When the music stops a heavy loud fan noise with chimes comes on and is coming from the shared wall.

I have kept music really down/ off last few nights.

OP posts:
ILoveListeningToRainAtNight · 21/09/2026 23:02

beanbeery · 21/09/2026 22:59

Well the music is on again tonight, and it is bagpipes on YouTube as I can hear the ads.

When the music stops a heavy loud fan noise with chimes comes on and is coming from the shared wall.

I have kept music really down/ off last few nights.

She's probably still anticipating your noise and getting her cover up sounds on. Now you know how she felt. She's moving, so ignore it.

Shelby2010 · 21/09/2026 23:32

I would suggest that you keep the music turned down and be a bit more considerate when you get new neighbours.

As a rule of thumb, don’t be louder than you would be if your kids were asleep upstairs.

Onceuponatime32 · 21/09/2026 23:34

beanbeery · 21/09/2026 22:59

Well the music is on again tonight, and it is bagpipes on YouTube as I can hear the ads.

When the music stops a heavy loud fan noise with chimes comes on and is coming from the shared wall.

I have kept music really down/ off last few nights.

Well you should have said! Why don’t you pop round and have a word with her?

mumsntt · 21/09/2026 23:35

youre an inconsiderate arse

Biscuitjockey · 22/09/2026 01:01

Probably put it there so that you won’t open your windows . She’s trying to reduce the noise you’re creating. I love my peace, if you were my neighbour there’d be hell on.

FreddysFingers · 22/09/2026 04:59

How loud are we talking for the music, and what time until?

HelpMeGetThrough · 22/09/2026 06:13

Well if she’s moving, between now and then, she’s going to make your life hell, which to be honest you deserve.

The horse shite on the drive is a nice touch.

Shittyyear2025 · 22/09/2026 06:48

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:41

Last month I would say the music has been on about 7 times and last Saturday it was from 6pm - 11:30pm.

I have only been playing music since the summer.
The walls are very thin. Its a terraced house.

Are you a bit thick op?

You openly admit to regularly playing music loudly late into the night and wonder why your neighbour is acting pissed off?!?

FMFL

Bamboozle30001 · 22/09/2026 07:23

Is your family tree just one big circle? JFC

Blushingm · 22/09/2026 07:43

beanbeery · 21/09/2026 22:59

Well the music is on again tonight, and it is bagpipes on YouTube as I can hear the ads.

When the music stops a heavy loud fan noise with chimes comes on and is coming from the shared wall.

I have kept music really down/ off last few nights.

Sorry but you completely deserve this. It’s what you’ve been doing to your neighbour for years isn’t it? You don’t like it? Well neither would she. Now she’s moving she’s got nothing to lose by giving you done of your own medicine.

wishfulthinking25 · 22/09/2026 08:01

Why has she got horse manure on her drive?

Mermaidmusing · 22/09/2026 08:08

It’s really selfish of you to play loud music in a terraced house, which you know has thin walls, at ANY time, but definitely doing it for several hours up to 11.30pm is utterly selfish and un-neighbourly. I’m not surprised you’ve pissed your neighbour off. I would have been round hammering your door the second time you did it, so I think you’re getting off lightly.

Learn your lesson now, be more considerate, turn your bloody music down at any time, and off completely after about 9.30pm.

OvernightBloats · 22/09/2026 08:11

She is giving you a taste of your own medicine. You know the walls are thin and yet you played loud music until 11 in the evening. Get some headphones when you want to play loud music.

At least she is moving out so you can have a new start with the next neighbours.

ThatBoilsMyBagels · 22/09/2026 08:24

You are an absolute nightmare neighbour. I hope her loud music from now until she leaves teaches you a lesson.

BeKhakiReader · 22/09/2026 08:28

Only read OP posts, so this may have been suggested. Put a note through her door saying you won’t play any more music and maybe buy some headphones to listen to your music in the future?

JustLookingThanks · 22/09/2026 08:39

Get headphones

FaceIt · 22/09/2026 08:45

You would honestly be my worst nightmare.

You’ve got to consider other people and stop being so utterly ignorant.

I really hope this thread has made you think, otherwise believe me you are going to be hated by your neighbours.

angelos02 · 22/09/2026 09:07

Why on earth would you play music so loud that your neighbour can hear it? She might not have said anything as she's worried how you would react. If someone is doing something so antisocial, they are often the type to react aggressively.

EveryoneUsingOutro · 22/09/2026 09:34

PilotingAWail · 20/09/2026 12:28

Are you possibly a person who
Can't
Understand
Normal
Thinking?
If so, try a little harder, be more considerate and buy headphones 🎧

Haha pinching this!

Partingofthewaves · 22/09/2026 09:39

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:41

Last month I would say the music has been on about 7 times and last Saturday it was from 6pm - 11:30pm.

I have only been playing music since the summer.
The walls are very thin. Its a terraced house.

It would drive me nuts to have to listen to 5 1/2 hours of old music during the summer, when people have to have windows open, in a terraced house with thin walls. You are unbelievably selfish and I’m surprised your neighbour has been so restrained up to now. Get yourself some headphones ffs.

Partingofthewaves · 22/09/2026 09:45

Muffsies · 20/09/2026 13:38

What was the music and do you always play the same thing?

Wtf has that got to do with anything? Any music played at a loud volume for over 5 hours is going to be an annoyance.

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