Passive aggressive neighbour?

Terraced housing, thin walls, loud music past 11pm....

Yep you are the issue @beanbeery

Yeah, there'll be a waterski and a shark any minute now.

So to clarify - your music was so loud that the only time you noticed her music was when you turned your music off? It was so loud you could not hear bagpipe music?!

you had that loud music playing for five and a half hours in the evening and night.

you did this 7 times alone in August, Im guessing for the same length of time. So that is over 38 hours of loud music in one month. She is basically living next to someone that is having a party for one every weekend (at least). She is not being passive aggressive she is responding like for like.

I’m not surprised she hates you. Stop being so selfish, stupid and inconsiderate, turn your music down and don't play it after 9pm.

I'd do exactly the same as your neighbour... Why on earth do you think it's acceptable to play loud music until 11:30pm?

In my view, if I were your neighbour, from the behaviour you've described doing, I'd automatically assume you were unreasonable and wouldn't bother approaching you as I'd expect to be met with opposition.

I'm not saying that's right by the way, assumptions are often wrong, but just trying to explain why the neighbour potentially hasn't approached you.

I do ultimately agree that the neighbour should just approach and ask you to stop your ludicrous behaviour, but I would definitely be passive aggressive first in attempt to diminish some of my built up anger.

No-one should have to approach neighbours to ask them to turn their music down.

Use headphones and show some common sense.

Thank your lucky stars she’s being so nice about it. If I lived there with your awful music blaring out twice a week at nearly midnight I’d be putting pig manure and dog shit there to piss you off tbh.

If you’re an awful neighbour who doesn’t care, you have no right to expect anything different from your neighbours.

Are you actually so thick you didn't realise this would annoy people around you?
She didn't tell you because anyone with 2 brain cells would know that blasting music for hours and hours will annoy their neibours, no body has to be told that.

You don’t sound like you’re very approachable!
You’re the nightmare not the neighbour

Yeah you’ve pissed her off with your music. I think people need to realise that not everyone enjoys your taste in music. I live in a terraced house and every time the weathers nice my neighbours start with their shitty thumping house music. It drives me mad that steady boom boom boom bass line. Why do you feel you have to play it loud enough that the neighbours can hear it? 5 hours of loud music would drive me up the wall. YABU.

Why don’t you just wear headphones?! You sound like a nightmare neighbour.

What was the music and do you always play the same thing?

In an age where multiple types of headphones are available you are being massively unreasonable. There is no need for her to hear your music for hours every weekend. I had neighbours like this and it ruins your life. Stop being selfish.

The more you write, the more I can understand why your neighbour doesn't like you. You sound incredibly selfish, and awful to live next door to, and I suspect it's not just the music that has made her dislike you. If you're as oblivious to the impact that your actions have on others as you appear to be, then I'm pretty sure there are other antisocial things you've done too that have upset her.

Loud bad music after 11pm is out of order. Grow up.

Sorry OP, but if you’ve played loud music until 11pm 7 times in a month in a terrace house with thin walls then of course you've pissed her off.

Didn’t it occur to you that this would annoy them?

Is the manure on her property or yours?

This reminds me of when I was a young single mum with my first child as a toddler.
We were just going through the process of his autism assessments as he was non verbal and showed no interest in any of his toys. It was a heartbreaking time as I was in denial.
There was an elderly lady joined on to us. I had tried explaining to her about my son's developmental delay but she didn't understand. She would say to him, "Why aren't you talking? Have you lost your tongue?".
My son was only two at the time. He would sometimes tap on the wall with one of his toys. I always rushed to stop him as quickly as I could but couldn't always get to him in time.
The old lady assumed he was doing it on purpose (despite me explaining and apologizing) and would bang back at him aggressively with her walking stick.
She would stare in our window with a look that could kill.
I was glad when we found somewhere else to live.

She is passive aggressive but I also think you were inconsiderate to play music loudly knowing the walls are thin.
could you knock on her door and try to chat to her about it, say you have gotten the strong impression something has annoyed her and you’d like to clear the air as you are going to be living beside each other for a long time. You don’t need to be best friends or living in each other’s pockets, just to have a cordial relationship is enough

You know the walls are thin and yet you choose to act in a really antisocial manner, repeatedly. Also, horse manure really doesn't smell much at all, especially if rotted down for the garden. The world does not resolve around you and your whims.

You come across as the Ahole, get a set of over the ear super duper headphones and dance away in your own silent disco dear. Neighbour is right.

Sounds like the consequences of you own selfish and inconsiderate actions.

She's doing to you what you've done to her for months/years. Not everyone is comfortable to confront someone about annoying behaviours. I'd be at the end of my tether if my neighbours did that every weekend, it's annoying but tolerable when it's occasionally (especially if you've got kids that are woken up by it) but every weekend that'd be too much. Yabu op just keep your music at a reasonable volume and off or very low by a reasonable time.

Of course she hates you! I’d hate my neighbour too if they were blaring loud music through the paper thin walls for hours on end in the evenings!

We have an extremely noisy neighbour. She doesn't work and gets drunk every night. She gets up at about 2pm and you know when she's awake as all the music starts up. She has those subwoofer speakers or whatever they're called. Colleagues on team calls (I WFH) regularly ask what's going on when we're on a call and my neighbour starts up.

We've put up with this for 5 years NOW. 5 years of her noise, and as she gets more drunk she sings along really loudly.

Her dog is also yappy and aggressive as she's never walked it.

We don't play music, ourselves. Only when I'm running with my earbuds in, and my partner when he drives to/from work. BUT the ONE TIME my partner had his car stereo on slightly louder when he got home, she stuck her head out of the window and screamed at him. He yelled back "this, coming from YOU?"

We are terraced and unfortunately her neighbours on her other side left with the house currently unsold so she's got even worse.

We've spoken to her really nicely many times and she tells us to fuck off. She has my partner's number and regularly texts him abuse.

She knows she's an alcoholic and in the very few times she's sober, she's actually nice, but this might be one hour a month or something.

It's got bad now that none of us talk to each other and it she can see I'm talking my bin in, she'll wait til I'm back in the house to do hers.

It's such a nice estate, so it's so unlucky we've ended up next to her.

No real advice but lots of solidarity!

So why did you do it if you have thick walls???