Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Original poster

Passive aggressive neighbour?

209 replies

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:31

Basically most Saturdays nights when the kids are with their nan I like to put music on etc.

Lasr night one of my NDN was blasting music on my bedroom wall side as well as playing playing some kind of bagpipe.

She also moved manure on the side of her driveway where I walk past with my DC.

We used to get on have a chat about out DC etc but over time she just blanks me.

If the music was bothering her surely she could have just approached me?

Of course I will be more considerate moving forward but is their behaviour passive aggressive?
They have never played music loud enough for me to hear and when I heard it I turned mine off.

Aibu

OP posts:

shhblackbag · 20/09/2026 15:36

My neighbour's kids (6, 4 and 2) shout, yell and run around for at least 5 hours every evening.

Nah, I'd still say something. That's not on.

SecondFromLastInTheSackRace · 20/09/2026 15:37

IDrinkTeaAllTheTime · 20/09/2026 11:49

Maybe she doesn’t find you very approachable. If someone is willing to be so inconsiderate knowing that the shared walls are thin, in your neighbour’s mind, that person might not take kindly to being called out on their inconsiderate behaviour, because generally those type of people don’t actually care about others.

Show quote history

HEADPHONES!!

For the love of God, I’m surprised she hasn’t murdered you!

ChilliBassy · 20/09/2026 15:48

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:46

But surely she could have just approached me about it?

There is also horse manure by her side of the drive where I walk with my DC.
Not very nice.

Edited

She shouldn't have to approach you. She shouldn't be put in a noise nuiscance situation in the first place. You know the walls are thin, so just be mindful and keep it down.

C152 · 20/09/2026 15:53

@beanbeery You can't be this unaware of social norms (and local council noise regulations), surely?

You know you live in a terraced home with thin walls, yet about twice a week you play loud music non-stop for about 5.5hrs, until 11:30pm? Yet you wonder why your neighbour stopped talking to you and hates your guts??

You don't even sound remotely apologetic or understanding in any of your responses on here, just reiterating that if it bothered your neighbour, she should have said something to you. She shouldn't have had to! In future, operate on the understanding that ALL neighbours are bothered by other people's noise! They put up with a certain amount, because they recognise there has to be a bit of give and take for everyone to rub along (and they're not rich enough for a house miles from the nearest neighbour), but your behaviour was so spectacularly selfish and thoughtless that no one would put up with it! I'm not surprised the poor woman is moving.

Nosleepforthismum · 20/09/2026 15:54

Team neighbour. You are a dickhead I’m afraid. I also love loud music and occasionally I will put the tunes on full blast on my day off to clean (and importantly when I know my neighbour has gone to work) but the rest of the time I use headphones because I try very hard not to be an inconsiderate knob. Shame on you honestly. Every weekend past 11pm in a terraced house!

passpartot · 20/09/2026 15:58

The council will now probably put an anti social nightmare evicted from somewhere else in beside you. You reap what you sow, they may have had complaints about you.

Dinosaursare · 20/09/2026 16:05

Oh so you're a nightmare neighbour.
Be thankful she only just retaliated! We had neighbours like you and ended up behaving the same after months of ruined sleep (sex bomb at 6am-11pm at full volume the day before they moved anyone??)

She must have been at the end of her tether!

ColdAsAWitches · 20/09/2026 16:27

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 14:01

Well I have just spoken to a mutual neighbour/ friend who we both get along with.

He basically said she absolutely hates my guts and is moving next few weeks or something.
He said she dosent say much apart from "sorry I absolutely hate her guys, dont want to talk about her" when he found out I was her neighbour.

So a friendly note/ chocolates is not a good idea according to him.

If I see her I will apologise but I dont want knock on her door knowing how much she hates me.

It's understandable. I've only read a few of your posts and I hate you already! You seem completely oblivious to how awful you've been to her.

Passaggressfedup · 20/09/2026 16:42

Why would she have to tell you that loud music every Saturday is a disturbance? Are you self centered that you would assume that if you enjoy, everyone else must to?

A good neighbour would have gone to hers, tell her that it's a treat for you to listen to whichever type of music you like quite loudly, but you don't want to.dusturbe her.

That's being considerate. I wouldn't want you as my neighbour either.

Grumpyoldcat · 20/09/2026 16:48

Yes, especially the bagpipes.

UnwillingAdvocate · 20/09/2026 16:54

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:46

But surely she could have just approached me about it?

There is also horse manure by her side of the drive where I walk with my DC.
Not very nice.

Edited

Maybe she thought you might have a bit of self awareness and not need to be told you were being rather inconsiderate .

thestudio · 20/09/2026 17:14

I think you should also ask yourself why you think being passive aggressive is a worse trait than being an antisocial arsehole.

How very dare they.

BlueFahrenheit · 20/09/2026 17:15

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 14:01

Well I have just spoken to a mutual neighbour/ friend who we both get along with.

So a friendly note/ chocolates is not a good idea according to him.

If I see her I will apologise but I dont want knock on her door knowing how much she hates me.

You are selfish and careless.

Learn how to behave and be considerate.

thestudio · 20/09/2026 17:15

I applaud the bagpipes particularly. Such panache.

Ellie1015 · 20/09/2026 17:32

She hates you guts because you have played loud music twice a week for over 4 hours at a time. And god knows what else if you didnt realise that is unacceptable.

You have driven her out of her home.

Happyjoe · 20/09/2026 17:39

JohnofWessex · 20/09/2026 15:31

If you are also a council tenant then you could be on a one way trip to homeless as a consequence of your behaviour

Council's do nothing. I've tried.

Bamboozle30001 · 20/09/2026 17:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

IDrinkTeaAllTheTime · 20/09/2026 18:19

SecondFromLastInTheSackRace · 20/09/2026 15:37

HEADPHONES!!

For the love of God, I’m surprised she hasn’t murdered you!

Show quote history

Right? I was on a bus the other day and some clown was listening to absolute shitty music on his phone without speakers. I gave him a dirty look and then put my own headphones to listen to my own shitty music. I was actually happy when another guy got on and immediately put his own headphones in. Brilliant little invention they are.

I genuinely don’t know at which point it was decided that not using headphones in public or when listening to loud music was acceptable. I would feel like the biggest prick ever if I did that.

JohnofWessex · 20/09/2026 19:01

I think that making excessive noise is a form of aggression and should be dealt with as such

Whatever else you think about Germany we could usefully adopt some of their noise control legislation

Smallpoxy · 20/09/2026 21:17

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 15:16

We used to talk, get each others parcels, I even suggested the company that did her carpets in her house, so its not like we have never spoken/ got on.
She would even talk to my mum about gardening!
She called my step dad to do her blinds.

She really could have just approached me about it.

Our mutual friend has said they were due to move first week October and have already handed in their notice to the Council but now will be calling them on Monday to see if they can end the tenancy this week and will move in with family until then!

She has also just moved the manure right next to my fornt door but on her side.

Or you could grow up and not be a PITA! Don't make yourself the victim here because you aren't

Original poster

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 22:13

I appreciate that I have not been very considerate.

I saw her earlier and said "Hi you okay?"
She just stared at me and laughed before walking off saying "Wow, are you serious for real?"

She has also been doing the bag pipe noise again and playing loud music.

It is as if because they are moving they are getting their own back.

OP posts:

Empress13 · 20/09/2026 22:16

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:41

Last month I would say the music has been on about 7 times and last Saturday it was from 6pm - 11:30pm.

I have only been playing music since the summer.
The walls are very thin. Its a terraced house.

you sound a bloody nightmare to live next door to she is obviously at the end of her tether

Flannelfeet · 20/09/2026 22:23

What kind of music are you playing? 🤭.

RunningJo · 20/09/2026 22:23

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 22:13

I appreciate that I have not been very considerate.

I saw her earlier and said "Hi you okay?"
She just stared at me and laughed before walking off saying "Wow, are you serious for real?"

She has also been doing the bag pipe noise again and playing loud music.

It is as if because they are moving they are getting their own back.

Edited

I’m beginning to wonder if this post is even real.
Sorry OP but I’m struggling to think anyone could lack this much self awareness

Smallpoxy · 20/09/2026 22:29

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 22:13

I appreciate that I have not been very considerate.

I saw her earlier and said "Hi you okay?"
She just stared at me and laughed before walking off saying "Wow, are you serious for real?"

She has also been doing the bag pipe noise again and playing loud music.

It is as if because they are moving they are getting their own back.

Edited

You are surprised?
No one can be that darfed.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Swipe left for the next trending thread