If you had your chance to start again, would you still have had kids?

Yes. 💯 in my opinion that is - for me in my circumstances. You can still travel and do lots of things with children. It does take over a huge chunk of your life, but I always enjoyed it.
I know not everyone feels the same way.

Interesting question.

Nope.

No

No

Yes, I would.

My childen are great and I've raised them to be adults I genuinely enjoy spending time with who contribute positively to the world in many ways.

Living my life with them in it has been an adventure. Wild and crazy at times but I've never regretted having either of them - even when times have been tough. There has been a lot of laughter, a lot of tears and a lot of absolute joy along the way.

Having said that, I also know I'd have lived an equally fulfilling life if I hadn't had children. It would just have looked very different!

Yes I’d do it all again. I just wish I’d met my husband at 25 rather than 29.

I had my DS at 43. It has been the most incredible experience of my life.

In some ways I’ve done things the opposite way around to many others. We had 20 years together doing everything we wanted as a couple with ultimate freedom before having DS.

Our life with DS who is now 5 is fantastic. It makes things much easier that we are financially secure, have no mortgage and have extremely flexible jobs mainly WFH which is not the case for many younger parents.

Absolutely fucking not.

Yes 100% but having said that I consider myself very lucky, my kids are healthy and Ive a supportive partner and I think this makes a difference to parenting experience.

Yes definitely but I only had one. DB & SIL had 3 and I knew I couldn't live with that level of chaos.

Nope.

Yes. I adore my daughter and I love spending time with her, she’s my best friend.

If I were doing it again I wouldn’t get married though.

God yes. Absolutely the best thing I’ve done, hands down.

In answer to your OP though, I wasn’t single and in my 40s when mine were babies and toddlers. It is properly hard work, emotionally and endurance-wise. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do it, but if you’re single with little ones that’s basically going to be your whole life outside of work.

I love my children intensely. It’s all consuming and literally the entire focus of my life. However it’s also terrifying and I worry a lot about the world they’ll be inheriting. I hate to even think of a life where I didn’t have them, but it’s been as stressful as it’s been amazing and everything comes with a tradeoff. I have plenty of friends who chose not to have children and have interesting, full and satisfying lives so it’s not like you can’t have that too.

I would also say that being a single older parent looks very, very difficult unless you have some great family support around you and a really decent income.

I’ve adopted a child and had children naturally too and 100% yes. I would do it again. Yes it’s hard at times. Yes they push buttons you didn’t know you had but the love I feel for them is unparalleled. There is no food/holiday/experience that even comes close to the moments of pure joy I feel with them. Holding them and being their parent is the greatest thing I’ve ever done.

Nope, no way

Yes, I say this as someone with little support network.

I would say though having a good support network or even a single family member that helps you out with your children will obviously increase your experience of it being more positive.

Lack of partner for whatever number of reasons..... again will impact.

Number of children there is a BIG difference between having 1 child compared to 3 children...

@Chefpig if you want a child go for it now! Its not something anybody here can advise you to do because we will ALL have a different tale on how WE have found motherhood!

Being a single mother is absolutely not something I would recommend to anyone. It is very hard and relentless.

Yes, but with a different man.

I am the opposite to you in that I never wanted kids, was happy I never wanted them, then had a massive broody hormonal surge in late 30s ( was already married) that I tried to ignore but eventually didn’t.

Very glad to have my kids ( now senior school and junior age). It’s been really hard and at times awful beyond endurance ( largely due to their dad) but I love them a love having them in my life.

As for adoption, I considered in case I could not conceive again but decided against. It’s a hard path and I certainly wouldn’t consider it as a single parent. You are taking on a child with complex needs. Maybe if you have strong and practical family support it could work. Also remember you are older. I had my last at 43. 10 years later and suddenly I am tired a lot, ache more, stiff more. Struggling to exercise as it wipes me out. Don’t underestimate the effect of ageing.

Finally, many of us don’t experience fundamental things we thought we would and crave. Whether it’s a living relationship to grow old in ( me!), a career we felt we made a difference in, children. Lots of people live with this, and it can be lived with if you put your focus somewhere else. It’s still there, but you have other things in your life to focus on.

So thats it really. Not much definite there for you, but some thoughts to consider.

For me it’s not a choice about the children themselves, they’re great. But would I choose to have all that comes with having children. Meeting their needs 24/7 is exhausting, it really never stops, and is financially crippling. But they’ve also kept me young and have been responsible for me having so much fun over the years too.

18 years is a long time though, it’s a job. One you can’t leave or take a sabbatical from.

I have one just turned 18 and the other will do so in 2.5 years and yes, I’m excited I’m nearly at the end of it and only now need to fund Uni.

So would I do it again if the clock went back? I still can’t answer this. Probably, maybe, oh I just don’t know.

Why?

Yes 100% I would have liked to have more if life had worked out differently
Not sure I would be looking to adopt in my 40s though