To have called 10 year old a brat

I'm sorry but my first thought when I read this post was 'This is very middle class gentle parenting'.

I'd be concerned if you called him a bastard or a cunt, but brat? It might be a wake-up call for him.

A lot more would have happened to me than that, if I'd spoken to my mum in such a way. Mind you, in schools (you say you're a teacher, which is why I mention it) apparently they're very funny about what you can say-got a few friends who are teachers, who tell me the older ones say there's too much attention on how/what they're allowed to say nowadays, while they used to mind more about kids actually hitting and punching staff/students in the past.

There's an argument for planning next year's holiday with the kids' input - do they think the current plan is babyish? There's also arguments for doing holidays differently so that you get a holiday yourself maybe with the boys staying with a grandparent or something for some of the time separately from you all going together.

But none of that excuses the kids being rude.

When the hormones kick in, an extra dose of discipline need to kick in to match it.

Do they actually enjoy going on holiday?
I just wonder as ds hated holidays as a general rule. Even doing things he loves, he's asking to go home within a couple of days.
Last three years we've left him at home (he is now 19yo for anyone who's worried) and I thought they first year he'd decide he'd missed out and want to come, but, no, he's much happier.

I've called my dc brats when they're behaving like that. It was quite effective at getting them to snap out of behaviour.

And I've never been convinced that a misbehaving child being told off will hear and internalise any difference between "you are behaving ..." and "you are...." I am pretty certain as an adult I wouldn't anyway.

Yes and sometimes, to get the point across, you need to call a spade a shovel.

Totally fine.

What I say to my kids, is this: if the person who loves you more than anything is thinking that you’re a pain in the arse, then you can guarantee that the rest of the world would.’

It sounds very mild and an accurate statement he is being an ungrateful brat.
They are old enough to understand that what they say had consequences. I’d not tolerate the saying hurtful things and then pretending it’s a joke. I assume there’s consequences for rudeness.
I’d be challenging - what makes you say that? It’s hurtful to say that when someone has worked hard to do something nice for you.
It sounds like they’ve had a very indulgent summer with lots of treats. Maybe have a rethink for next holiday.
Chores and development of skills like making simple meals or going on errands to shop.
Volunteering - could they help at a community litter pick (with you) or take them shopping to buy things for food bank and explain why.
I also think educational and museum trips can help - mills will displays of children climbing under looms can make children think.

If mine are being bratty, I certainly call them out on it, I told my 11 year old he was being a brat the other day when he was moaning that I wouldn’t buy him some sweets like I had his little brother, who had come food shopping with me…..
Apparently I favour the little one, so I calmly pointed out he was currently walking around in lovely Nike air max trainers that had arrived the day before and he was being a complete brat….

Not unreasonable, he sounds like a dick.

This

Our kids rarely had holidays away: Ourgate was always the normal holiday destination.

I fear I would have called him a little shit something much worse, kudos to you for being so tame.

If you don’t tell your child they are a brat then they won’t know they are one. Kids don’t know everything about how to be a civilised human being, we have to tell them.

“ don’t eat with your fingers, use your spoon or your fork”, “ don’t wipe your nose on your sleeve, use a tissue, and put the tissue in the bin afterwards “ “don’t behave like that please, that is what brats do”

When my children say mean things to me (to get a reaction) I've started using the mumsnet response : 'did you really mean to be so unkind/rude?' It actually floors them!

They are out of routine swear it makes them worse, I have a particularly difficult child albeit younger but I can understand your frustration. Sounds like maybe the u known is making them skittish. I find my kids don't like change as much as I do they are more like dh. They may be anxious about the upcoming holiday or flight (if flying)

Friends of mine tell a story where one small child turned to the other and said ‘I think we might be being little buggers again’ . Said friend and sister are still very close to their parents. Sometimes they just need telling.

He was being a brat, he needs to learn that is not ok.
Tomorrow “Are you going to behave today or will you continue yesterday’s brat-like behaviour?”

When I was about 13, my mum told me I was acting like a bitch. I remember being absolutely appalled that she said such a thing to me, but it stuck with me...and she was right to call me out, I was behaving terribly!

My mum never swore at us normally, so this was very out of character for her. There's a difference between calling out behaviour and name-calling.

Now I have 2 daughters of my own...send help!

If the shoe fits and all… He is a brat.

This is true - but usually there is something at the back of it.

Maybe apologise OP but say you were at the end of your tether as you cannot understand why he is behaving like this and see if he can explain it.

He might be wanting an opportunity to open up.

Ach OP, I told my 7yo he needed to stop acting like a brat after he chucked a €20 note (his spending money for the hol) in a fit of anger when I asked him to put it in my bag for safe keeping. He too has been acting up all week and being rude and I just cracked at that point. I know he's only 7 but I think he needed to hear it as money doesn't grow on trees and he needs to stop being rude.

Sounds like you said it just right. It will only get worse if you let it.

I'm a pretty chilled and supportive/gentle parent but sometimes behaviour needs calling out. I've often said my kids are behaving like brats, or behaving brattishly - I think it's a really easy description that they understand and it's not like it's a swear word. Sometimes they need to hear it. I'd probably then just wait for him to finish sulking and then discuss what positive/non bratty behaviour would look like so that everyone can have a nice holiday! Good luck OP

I called one of mine a spoiled brat this morning 🤷‍♀️ she was and I don’t regret it. Sometimes they need to hear the truth.