To have called 10 year old a brat

Sounds like an accurate assessment of his behaviour tbh.

I’d be removing access to the tablets for an attitude like that

Sometimes our children are just arseholes.

Oh maybe they are acting up in response to that. Scary how addictive they are.

YANBU and when they need therapy, according to them and society around the age of 30, DO NOT believe them when they say their childhood trauma was your fault!

Its a very important lesson for kids to learn that if they make life difficult for someone else that that person might lash out at them back! Actions = consequences.
You arent regularly calling him a brat for regular child behaviour, he's old enough to hear it.

Not unreasonable, no. My 10, who is not normally a brat, spent the first day of is our holiday abroad being a brat. I told him so and after a prolonged sulk he was able to turn it around - I hope yours does too @Ilovedisney2011 !! Sometimes they need to hear it as it is!

Agree with pp - kids are assholes sometimes

You know what? Sometimes kids are brats. And sometimes it does them good to hear it said.

These are your children. Not the children in your class. You don't have to tiptoe around them in the same way. They aren't going to fall to bits because in a home that is generally loving, their mother once called them a brat.

I remember being a child, and I remember occasions when I needed to hear this or something similar. When I heard it, it was a good metaphorical kick up the backside.

You need to stamp that behaviour out of him saying hurtful things.And then saying it's a joke. It's clearly not a joke.He uses it as a way of getting away with saying mean things.

My partner does this, and he's a middle aged man. No amount of saying to him.It is only a joke if everyone is laughing and if they're not, you're being unkind, will work. The behaviour is far too ingrained.

You need to go nuclear on him for that. say stop pretending it's a joke as a way of getting away with saying mean things and punish him for it anyway.

Exactly.And they are not very young, either, ten isn't that young.

A very young child can be a brat without knowing any better or being able to control it. At ten years old, you expect something better and I don't think it does.Any harm to be told by an otherwise very loving mother that you're a brat once in a while.

Why are you scared of calling it as it is. Sometimes kids need to hear it so they know exactly what they’re like.

Yes this. and this is why a lot of children are entitled brats nowadays because parents are scared of saying anything negative at all.

I don't think the word 'brat' is that bad at all. If that's what you're worried about. If you called him an arsehole, that would be different!

Maybe if more dps nipped it in the bud at 10 the teen years wouldn't be as hard .

Well he sounds like he is exactly that (I would have gone for "pain in the arse" personally).

I don’t quite understand this. The child was being a brat and you told him that. Why would that be wrong?

I think you did well to restrain yourself to brat!

Sometimes they just push the buttons because they find the response funny for some reason 🤷🏼. But putting your foot down now will pay off in the long run.

I said something similar to my DD once. I think I also said she was selfish. She’s 13 and was always waiting until everyone was trying to go to bed to have a shower and some other stuff. I felt bad and she was a bit upset but we had a chat and she amended her ways. Sometimes we just have to say it.

He is being a wee brat. I remember once, me and my siblings were being bratty on holiday and my dad just said “right okay we’re just gonna do what mum wants. You kids will never be happy so you’re gonna be fucking bored out your mind doing walking tours. I’d rather she’s happy than yous!” And we spent the whole remaining week doing walking tours and history related stuff. No water park, no kids activities, just “boring” grown up stuff. And any dissent was met by a full on bollocking from my dad or the offending child being taken back to the hotel to sit in your room and read a book. Maybe you should do that?

In the end I actually really enjoyed that holiday but I definitely didn’t at first.

Is your concern/guilt because you missed out the word "being"
I don't think the distinction is as clear to kids as it is to us. If you told your kid "you are being a brat" every day for 10 years that would probably become their internal voice in just the same way as if you said "you are a brat" every day for 10 years.

But this isn't every day for 10 years, this is one occasion, where the comment is justified, in 10 years of likely 'good-enough' parenting.

I think as a society we have swung too far into the "be kind, protect the mental health and developing positive identity" to the detriment of appropriate behaviour and the ability to put up with external demands.

Be tougher as well as being kind

I’m a really good mum and have a great relationship with my kids (now adult) but I remember calling my eldest a little shit once. I didn’t beat myself up over it because he was being one. My mum never swore in day to day life except when it came to us kids and then she called us all the names 😁, kids drive the most saintly parents into near insanity at times, it happens 🤷‍♀️.

I like the sound of your dad 😁

Mine are the same age and exactly the same. I wouldn’t feel an ounce of guilt about calling them a brat. In fact I think you’re restrained.

He is a great dad but he was definitely very strict with certain things. Extremely lax on most things but the second we upset my mum he was a totally different person. Even after they split up I’d sometimes go to his house after my mum had told me off thinking I’d get the soft touch but I’d just get bollocked again 😂. He’s totally different with my kids now though he’s got an excuse for everything they do and apparently they’re “just wee babies” and “kids will be kids” … gone soft now because they’re not his problem I guess.