To have called 10 year old a brat

My lovely friend currently has her 15 yo on holiday ruining every day with sulks and moans. Nip it in the bud now! If they don’t want to be called a brat then it’s simple, don’t behave like one. I’m very much of the opinion dc need to know when they cross a line. I’d set clear expectations for behaviours on holiday then draw a line and go and have the best time.

It’s worrying that you think you can’t call your child a brat when they are being brattish. You’re the boss!

I think YANBU but just try to remember that their hormones are kicking in at this age!

Thinking back, I've also called my children an utter dick, cowbag and a dozy twonk, so brat isn't all that bad.

"If you don't want to be called a brat, don't behave like a brat. The choice is yours "

Sometimes they just need to hear it/be shown.

I once did the 'if you don't bloody stop fratching I'm turning this car around and we're going home' thing with my two eldest kids. We were on our way to the seaside for the day.

Well they carried on, so we turned the car around and drove all the way home- even though we'd almost reached the beach car park. They could see the sea and everything!

They still talk about that, and they are 27 and 25 now 😂

I remember when my dc were that age.
They are so annoying...

But they can only be spoilt or brats, if we let them be!

I wouldn't worry, it's not just you/your kids.

I took my DC to a waterpark yesterday. The older one hurt a younger child because he didn't look coming down a slide, despite me having told him at least 10 times to be careful down the slides and follow the rules. He was sorry about it, but then I was called names and moaned at for making him sit out for 10 minutes to remind him to use the slides safely 🙄. He's usually reasonably well behaved. We're only a couple of weeks into the school holidays and this week I've already seen loads of fed up parents and grandparents, including two different parents absolutely letting rip at their kids as we left yesterday 😅.

There's a no frills sports holiday camp near us, and I've threatened my older kid with being chucked in there for large chunks of the rest of the holiday if he can't keep a civil tongue in his head.

Sounds accurate description tbh

You'll get some really tough love parents on MN, but I personally think this amounts to name-calling, so no, I don't think it's great (understandable though, absolutely).

Your DS is looking for a rise out of you when he says provocative comments like this – any attention, even negative, is still attention for a child. Do not give it any attention, completely and utterly ignore it, and warmly praise any desirable attention you see. He may escalate at first in order to get the attention, but do not give in.

Very hard when you’ve had it all week - it would be nice if we were all like Mary Poppins but we’ve all got a breaking point.

Why are you asking ?
Do you seriously think YABU ?
That’s concerning to me , you seem afraid of them.
Children need boundaries and it’s your job to set them . There’s nothing way you’re this passive in the classroom .

He's ten...not five. Teenage years are fast approaching, I would rather tell them the truth once ("you are being a brat") at this age than piss about gently parenting the bratty behaviour out of him.
If I behaved like a brat as a child I was told I was being a brat, if I was being deliberately annoying I was told I was being annoying. I have now grown up with no ill effects.

Haha – yes, I did acknowledge that there would be some very tough love parents on here. Totally expected.

Child development incentives show that this kind of tactic is very influential up to age 10, actually – so the evidence disagrees with you there. Underlying practices don't stop working when a child is out of a certain age bracket. What changes is how you apply them. At 10, parental attention and approval are still strong reinforcers of behaviour.

I suspect as a teacher you are used to having to rein in your comments and thoughts with the children in your class, so have shocked yourself with this! You called him out on it, he has the chance to turn it around, or there are consequences.

You did fine!

He was being an absolute brat though…I think you were actually under reacting if I’m honest!

100% this 🤣👏 I'm getting Julia from Motherland vibes from you lol

To be honest I don't blame you from you've said has been going on.

My cousin had flown from the States with his family including his 13 year daughter to Rome . Plush hotel and planned a great schedule. Apparently she moaned and moaned , complaining about her phone coverage . Next day he left her in hotel all day with no phone . She pulled herself together and we still say How did you like Rome to tease her at 30 years old and a mother .

Semantics. You are BEHAVING like an asshole, pack it in, is different from saying you ARE an asshole, pack it in.

If the cap fits

I never really understand all the handwringing on here about things like this. Normally posters will be falling overthemselves to highlight how traumatic and damaging it is to be called a brat or a little shit

I call a spade a spade.

Is there a way to make holiday spending money really visible so there is a financial reduction consequence for each of these bratty outbursts...explaining that before you set off?

Hope it's a happy holiday OP

They aren’t used to having you and your husband to themselves and it is out of routine so they will naturally push to see how much will be taken. Being called out for ‘brattish’ behaviour is actually a normal thing, you don’t get away with it in normal society when you’re a grown up. X

Schools have been closed for 3 weeks, that’s a lot going on in 3 weeks. Maybe they’re overwhelmed with you trying to keep them occupied the whole time? They’re probably already anticipating a long and boring flight without their tablets to keep them entertained, seems like an own goal to not bring them! How much response do they get from you when they make these comments? I’d be ignoring them completely because paying attention to it will be fuelling it.

It's not something that happens often but there's been a couple of occasions that I've let my 10yo now that she's acting like a brat/acting spoilt. Only when it was justified and when it was continuing spoilt behaviour.
She does not like it, but sometimes they need to be made aware how their behaviour is coming across.
Typically she's retreated, sulked a bit, and then her behaviour has improved a lot.

Nowadays she doesn't really act like that and is grateful and thanks me for trips/holidays etc.