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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not let my 17 year old daughter go to the cinema at this time?

512 replies

sweeel · 27/07/2026 15:54

Basically, my 17 year old daughter wants to go to watch the new Spider-Man movie at 845pm this Wednesday, and she's going to the town about a thirty minute drive from us because that's where her friend is (and this is a town we are very familiar with etc. we used to live here but it's still obviously not super near as a local cinema).

She'll reach there by about 730 and hang out with her friend for a bit till the movie but the movie is about 2 hours 20 mins + adverts so I don't think it'll be finished till close to 12am. Then I have to go and collect her and I'm really worried about her safety of being out so late at night and I feel like I shouldn't allow her to go because it's so late and it will be dark by that time obviously even though it's summer...

She booked this time because all the other times were sold out and she wanted to see it specifically on opening night but I'm having serious doubts.

OP posts:
Juli123 · 01/08/2026 20:41

Would it be possible for her to spend the night at her friend's house and you could pick her up during the day? Would that help?

Treesandbeez · 01/08/2026 22:18

My gosh at that age I was already working in bars and restaurants until midnight having to walk 20 min to a bus stop and take the last bus home at 12:30, the only girl out and about. I’m 33. Many of my friends did that age 16-19 it was normal. Sometimes my mum would pick me up if it was past the last bus time. Yes sometimes I got a bit scared but it’s part of growing up. I’d feel suffocated if you were my mum sorry.

Tinkerwebbo · 01/08/2026 22:28

She’s 17. And she’s asking to be picked up. And it’s the cinema. What happens when she goes to parties? Surely this is no different and in fact safer as it’s the cinema. If you’re there before it ends then she’s not even waiting around

Itislate · 01/08/2026 22:55

unless she has special needs you are being ridiculous!

Timeforachange26 · 01/08/2026 23:04

Davidpowell · 01/08/2026 18:54

At 17 my daughter was working in a bar/restaurant.

this was a pain as it meant many Saturday night late pickups. We did have a reliable taxi driver until he became less so and had to be reported!

She is now a strong bolshy no nonsense young adult of whom I am extremely proud.

at some point you have to relax the controls

So was my DD. She drove herself home though

EvieBB · 02/08/2026 07:21

Treesandbeez · 01/08/2026 22:18

My gosh at that age I was already working in bars and restaurants until midnight having to walk 20 min to a bus stop and take the last bus home at 12:30, the only girl out and about. I’m 33. Many of my friends did that age 16-19 it was normal. Sometimes my mum would pick me up if it was past the last bus time. Yes sometimes I got a bit scared but it’s part of growing up. I’d feel suffocated if you were my mum sorry.

Whereas my mum would sometimes actually wait at the bus stop (nearest home) waiting for me to get off the last bus around 11.30pm after a night out in my teens! ha ha. It was bit embarrassing...I didn't tell my friends...but, bless her, at least she cared :)

Davidpowell · 02/08/2026 07:59

Timeforachange26 · 01/08/2026 23:04

So was my DD. She drove herself home though

Show quote history

Passing her test was a welcome milestone!

BluesBird19764 · 02/08/2026 09:35

Is she planning on uni next year? If so, you both have a lot of work to do on getting her more independent.

YellowMellow99 · 02/08/2026 16:16

FeliciaFancybottom · 27/07/2026 15:55

She's 17, surely it's her decision?!

Surely she’s 17 and it’s her parents’ decision!

Timeforachange26 · 02/08/2026 17:06

YellowMellow99 · 02/08/2026 16:16

Surely she’s 17 and it’s her parents’ decision!

Show quote history

I lived by myself at 17. Can't imagine ringing parents to get permission to go out lol

TheignT · 02/08/2026 17:09

Made me smile. I was married at 17, admittedly not the most sensible thing I ever did. I'd have been safer at the cinema

Daftypants · 02/08/2026 17:54

At that age I was 100% fine with my older girls seeing a later movie but I’d pick them up if no one going to the movie could drive , I wouldn’t want them stranded or waiting ages for the night bus ( we lived in a city)
If the movie finished a wee bit earlier and that meant they could catch the bus home ( they’d get off very near home and have a very short walk ) then I’d be fine with that .
Now my youngest is SEN so at that age she was different and wasn’t travelling totally independently by that age ( only to her college and back )
So I’d insist on earlier screening

Livpool · 02/08/2026 18:06

You don’t get a say in this

NDFB · 02/08/2026 18:34

Absolutely not! She is a CHILD. And living under your roof. You're expected to stay awake and worry until after midnight?! Just because she wants to see it on the "opening night". You must be joking. Jog on!

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/08/2026 18:39

NDFB · 02/08/2026 18:34

Absolutely not! She is a CHILD. And living under your roof. You're expected to stay awake and worry until after midnight?! Just because she wants to see it on the "opening night". You must be joking. Jog on!

‘A CHILD’. I can assure you a 17 year old doesn’t consider themselves a child and has a lot of their own ideas. She’s not 10, she’s nearly an adult. A lot of 17 year olds would just do it anyway if forbidden. Do you have an older teen? My dd passed her test a couple of months ago. Before that, I was driving her around all hours and often went to bed early and set an alarm to collect her. That’s entirely normal.

NDFB · 02/08/2026 18:51

There's a roomful of people with yes older teens laughing so out loud! Re-read your response LOL.

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/08/2026 19:05

That makes absolutely no sense at all. As in I dont understand what you’re trying to say.

Tangit · 02/08/2026 19:21

sweeel · 27/07/2026 15:54

Basically, my 17 year old daughter wants to go to watch the new Spider-Man movie at 845pm this Wednesday, and she's going to the town about a thirty minute drive from us because that's where her friend is (and this is a town we are very familiar with etc. we used to live here but it's still obviously not super near as a local cinema).

She'll reach there by about 730 and hang out with her friend for a bit till the movie but the movie is about 2 hours 20 mins + adverts so I don't think it'll be finished till close to 12am. Then I have to go and collect her and I'm really worried about her safety of being out so late at night and I feel like I shouldn't allow her to go because it's so late and it will be dark by that time obviously even though it's summer...

She booked this time because all the other times were sold out and she wanted to see it specifically on opening night but I'm having serious doubts.

I put YANBU purely because it sounds like she's expecting you to pick her up afterwards and I couldn't be arsed picking my kid up at that time on a week night if I'm working the next day.

Is this the biggest issue?

Pinkchickenwine · 02/08/2026 19:39

NDFB · 02/08/2026 18:51

There's a roomful of people with yes older teens laughing so out loud! Re-read your response LOL.

Are you referring to any particular post? A fairly random comment LOL!

Bohema · 02/08/2026 19:54

sweeel · 27/07/2026 15:54

Basically, my 17 year old daughter wants to go to watch the new Spider-Man movie at 845pm this Wednesday, and she's going to the town about a thirty minute drive from us because that's where her friend is (and this is a town we are very familiar with etc. we used to live here but it's still obviously not super near as a local cinema).

She'll reach there by about 730 and hang out with her friend for a bit till the movie but the movie is about 2 hours 20 mins + adverts so I don't think it'll be finished till close to 12am. Then I have to go and collect her and I'm really worried about her safety of being out so late at night and I feel like I shouldn't allow her to go because it's so late and it will be dark by that time obviously even though it's summer...

She booked this time because all the other times were sold out and she wanted to see it specifically on opening night but I'm having serious doubts.

Where do you live? It cannot be that lawless or can it? And you are picking her up! She could be backpacking around the world next year. Let her build up some confidence for goodness sake

NDFB · 02/08/2026 20:14

There's a roomful of people with yes older teens laughing so out loud! Re-read your response LOL.

VestibuleWeaver · 02/08/2026 20:18

YellowMellow99 · 02/08/2026 16:16

Surely she’s 17 and it’s her parents’ decision!

Show quote history

A 17 year old does not need their parents' permission to visit a cinema.

PithyHedgehog · 02/08/2026 20:43

2 weeks after I turned 18 I moved from a small country village in Ireland to London, your daughter is a year younger than I was moving country I’m sure she’ll be fine going to the cinema late in the evening ❤️❤️

Pinkchickenwine · 02/08/2026 21:15

NDFB · 02/08/2026 20:14

There's a roomful of people with yes older teens laughing so out loud! Re-read your response LOL.

You’ve said this before? I don’t understand who it’s directed at? Lol

NDFB · 03/08/2026 06:36

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/08/2026 18:39

‘A CHILD’. I can assure you a 17 year old doesn’t consider themselves a child and has a lot of their own ideas. She’s not 10, she’s nearly an adult. A lot of 17 year olds would just do it anyway if forbidden. Do you have an older teen? My dd passed her test a couple of months ago. Before that, I was driving her around all hours and often went to bed early and set an alarm to collect her. That’s entirely normal.

Show quote history

There's a roomful of people with yes older teens laughing so out loud! Re-read your response LOL.

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