AIBU to not let my 17 year old daughter go to the cinema at this time?

Wow.
No wonder so many young people get diagnosed with anxiety if this is how they get brought up

The world really isn't that unsafe. That's an extremely distorted view of reality which requires consultation with a therapist to unpick, though a look at some comparative statistics about things like violent crime over past decades may help. However whilst crime statistics are reassuring, of greater concern is how many kids of today have anxiety and can barely function. That's on an upward trend, and it's not a massive leap to think that this overcautiousness and lack of freedom and risk taking may be contributing.

I have 16 year old who’s going to Reading Festival for 3 nights camping. Many of his friends are. He also went to an evening session of cricket and his friends arrived local station around midnight. We really weren’t worried about it. Could she stay at her friends if you are worried about collecting late?

As others have alluded to, this isn't a bit paranoid. It's a LOT paranoid. As it's summer holidays I could have understood the question at 14 or 15 (and I've have STILL said it's fine, but not as a regular thing) but to worrying about a 17 year old in this way isn't....well..... It's not normal. Are you excessive with other things or has she just led a very sheltered life and so theres not been a need to before now? Do your friends have similar aged or older children so you can use what they did as a yardstick maybe, and get reassurance from them?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Give over. It doesn't come with "great risks". That's just daft. Wherever you're getting your content from, you either need to stop or at least widen up your sources of info. I can't decide if you're being a drama queen or actually believe there's so much danger round every single corner. You make it sound like the odds are she WILL become a cropper and it's only by minute tiny odds that women get through a whole day without being chopped into pieces. It's sensible to take precautions and have your wits about you, but the world is far far safer than you're making out.

It's not just about protecting her and you being Mums taxi if you're available, but it's about her being used to being in a taxi and feeling comfortable with it, and I think most evidently the need for YOU to be used to the idea. If ever the need arises then neither of you is as traumatised by the idea of getting a taxi alone as you right now.

Everything you do in life has risks. In a few months she won’t need your permission. It’s the cinema ffs.

It may be unacceptable to you but that doesn't mean its unacceptable to everyone else. You are being very judgemental and preachy in your comments. Im not teaching fear im teaching freedom within boundaries and using devices for safety. The suggestions I offered are in line with many parenting websites and the safetywise advice for teens:
https://www.safewise.com/lifestyle/how-to-use-your-phones-location-sharing-for-safety/

Maybe instead of venting your views on your own freedom within your own childhood on the basis that I did x and 'nothing happened to me'
to me that you get on to safetywise about how their advice is unacceptable and the other websites. Jog on preacher.

And your very paranoid and anxious in yours!

And where did I vent my views on my own freedom? If you’re going to preach and judge me, please do have the decency to get the right poster!

You carry on tagging, double tagging, ensuring you know the screen your DD is in, and whatever you do, do not let her off those reins until she’s at least 21!

Dangerous!!

Literally one of the most ridiculous posts ever. I might suggest that for a couple of year 7/8 girls but for a 17 year old it’s a whole other level of ridiculousness

Nothing dangerous about sharing locations on an iPhone with consent. …. It’s a recommended approach on many parenting websites. So if I’m being anxious and paranoid then so are all the parenting websites recommending it. No one is talking about a 21 year old adult here. However many families share locations between themselves on devices with consent including adults. Sure it’s not for e try one but that’s where the ‘with consent’ comes in. Not paranoid not anxious…. Just making a preference and choices for wenhancrd safety. Our choice. Each to their own.

Well it’s suggested by the ‘be safe’ website as well as other parenting websites do not at all ridiculous. Just because you don’t do it doesn’t mean it’s ridiculous

You are being utterly ridiculous. She’s 17 going to the cinema with a friend at a normally evening time. She is being collected immediately after so willl have a safe place to wait. Most young teens are going to the cinema with friends in fact most 17 year olds are doing much worse. I think you have anxiety. Is she an only child? In a year she could be at uni. How will you cope with that. Stop over controlling and seek help

Do you have comprehension issues? You’re not reading what I’m saying?

Where did I say it was dangerous to share locations?

You forgot to apologise for the nonsense you accused me of if your previous post. You’ve missed that bit,

Your anxiety and paranoia are dangerous!

Just think when the 17 year old turns 18 in a few months time, they miraculously be an adult, be able to go to the cinema, pub, club, no tracking, AirTags or over zealous mothers! But not street wise at all.

Thank god the 17 year old in question is going to uni.

For 17byear olds?;the age that can have left home ?

You are very rude and disrespectful.

Sorry but it is ridiculous - texting mum when she gets into the cinema to tell her what screen it is, mum arriving early to wait in the lobby for the film to finish.

perfectly sensible for a 12 year old going to the cinema alone for the first time. Utterly insane for a 17 year old who has done a year of 6th form

@Wooky073
You’ve said your dc is younger. Mum to a just turned 18 year old here. Parents have to endeavour to prepare their child for complete independence at 18 as they may just fly the coop. From the way my dd talks, I’m 99.9% sure there is a lot of talk on social media these days about 18 being an autonomous adult. I get this all sounds so alien to you right now. However your suggestions (bar tracking with consent) really are inappropriate for an almost adult.

Why because I don’t agree with you?

Honestly, as many have said to you, your ideas are totally ridiculous! I think the next comment on this thread again agrees!

The mum is clearly anxious about safety hence this is a suggestion to allow the young person to go whilst ensuri mum feels she is safe.

So it’s not fur you and you don’t agree… no problem just scroll past it.

No, because you lob personal insults at people you don’t agree with

I get it OP. I worry a lot about DD being out late. Can you get her a taxi or can she sleep over at the friend's so they're getting home together?

I think what’s important here is you don’t let your own issues impact her, I don’t know if it’s anxiety or what you’ve got going on, but there is no risk in taking an uber or licensed taxi at midnight, and I understand you wouldn’t but it’s important you don’t let your fear restrict her, she’s nearly an adult,and we need to teach them responsibility and let them fly, not teach them fear, anxiety and paranoia as we suffer from it.

glad you’re letting her go, I’d let her cab home. You need to build her confidence not stifle it,

Yabu she is 17 and you are collecting her from the cinema. You cant wrap them in cotton wool - she is almost an adult

Many adults also share location on devices with consent. If they don’t consent no problem. it’s just suggestions for a mum worried about safety and stepping stones to allow freedom whilst keeping safety in mind as recommended on various websites.