AIBU to not let my 17 year old daughter go to the cinema at this time?

It’s not a school night and she wants to go do something entirely wholesome. The only catch is that you have to pick her up late.

we set time home by the activity. I wouldn’t be phased by this at all. Luckily mine could drive herself because I am an early bird.

Ar 17, not only is she able to go out late, but she's also perfectly capable of getting a taxi home. Or his will she ever learn how to do such normal things?

Why did you say 'no it's not' and then go on to say it's fine 🤔

At 15 I was telling my parents I was staying at friends when really I was in nightclubs until 4am or out drinking and camping. Be grateful she tells you what she’s doing and where she is. She is 17 she will be fine

She should sleep at her friend's house if that's in the same town. But she's too old for you to be dictating what time she goes to the cinema.

In less than a year she can get married, have a full time job, she's already old enough to drive and legally have a child of her own!

You really need to treat her more like an adult. Do you really think she won't be safe because it's dark?

Is the problem with her safety at that time or your driving there?

I wouldn't have a problem from a safety point of view. However, I personallly wouldn't be disrupting my normal bedtime to pick her up at midnight apart from very special occasions! I'd therefore tell her to look at alternatives as I wasn't going to provide a taxi service at that time.

Good grief - my daughter was going to the Download festival at 16, as were many of her friends - I can’t imagine telling her that she couldn’t go to see a film that was ending at midnight when she was 17! 🤣🤣

Don't have an issue going to collect her, a little annoying but that's fine by me, and I'd much rather get her than her take a taxi or bus late at night or something which I do think is a bit more dangerous

Couldn't she stay at her friend's and come home the next morning?

When my sister and I were in our teens, we could do (more or less) what we wanted, but the rule was we had to make our own arrangements to get there and back. We weren't to expect our dad to act as a late night taxi service.

She won’t turn 18 and magically be able to safely be out late at night.

You have to gradually give more and more independence as she gets older. Put in appropriate rules or guidelines in place of course but you need to let her learn.

Managing adult things, like being out late at night, takes practice. A trip to the cinema with a friend seems like an excellent, safe way to practice that life skill.

Encourage her to do it again, or similar evening outings over the summer so she gets comfortable and knows how to plan well and risk assess.

In a years time she’ll be potentially out late having had alcohol (or with friends who have had alcohol) she needs to really cement this skill now while that isn’t a factor.

Also while I absolutely understand your concerns about Ubers and taxis she also needs to learn that skill safely for next year.

But she's not going to be 'out' late at night. She's going to be in a cinema, and then you are collecting her. Presumably you can be there when the film is due to end.

I'm not understanding the part that you feel will be dangerous for her. Walking from the cinema to your car? Is it a long way? There will be lots of other people around as they will all have just finished watching the same film. I'm sure some will be walking the same way. She will be absolutely fine. Even if she was getting a taxi/Uber, she would also be fine.

I’m surprised she hasn’t been out ‘that late’ before, she is 17. Does she never spend evenings with her friends?

If you don't want to pick her up so late could she stay the night with her friend? How is the friend getting home? Being out at midnight at a cinema is not really a risky activity though.

As someone who spent my 18th birthday seeing the third Harry Potter movie when it opened at midnight, I say let her go to the movie! She’ll have fun with her friends.

I you can't handle her going to the cinema in the early evening, HOW are you going to manage when she moves out?

If she's prepping to go to uni next year you REALLY need to let her have some freedom or she is going to struggle a lot more than her peers.

You are stifling her and could well cause her to be in a failure to launch situation in time.

Yeah, being in a public building late at night with a group of friends and a whole crowd of other people isn’t exactly hazardous.

She’s 17 not 7, you are being ridiculous. I’ve just seen dozens of youngsters this age in Greece on their holidays without parents. It’s the cinema, be there to pick her up if you need to or sort out a taxi.

You’ll be tracking her next…

Do you still take her to the toilet as well?

Erm within months she will be 18, legally an adult, possibly leaving home to go to university. Surely you should be supporting her to develop street sense, self confidence and basic life-skills?

Do you really need to bring a whole generation in to this? I’m sure there are millennials on this thread ( 🙋🏼‍♀️) that are saying this is overkill.

Mine (same generation) was inter-railing across Europe at 17, doubtless staying out a lot later than 12.

If you have a bus / train service, she will be fine.

It is normal for people to be out at that time of night.

But if you insist on picking her up, I am sure it will be over by 11.30, the ads and trailers are only 20mins.

But she isn't going to be "out" is she? Presumably you'll meet her after the showing ends?

Very over dramatic and over protective.

I would let her go, and pick her up. It's only a local cinema, not downtown LA.

I used to go clubbing at 17!! She is going to be in the movie until it finishes at which point she will walk outside and you will collect her. You are being way too overprotective! I get it, I am a mum myself but relax a little or you will really struggle over the next few years.

Are you trying to put the OP into a tailspin by suggesting a perfectly normal way to get home?