Long term marriage is like shagging your best friend

Who's shagged their siblings bloody hell 🤮

Indeed. There a certainly many people who have long, fulfilling sexual relationships with their spouses but the need to deny and deflect the mere suggestion that passion can die in a marriage is very defensive.

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Long term marriage is like shagging your best friend
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Am I being unreasonable?
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'' You’re not daft. You’re performatively shocked and baffled.
🤣🤣🤣 Yes indeed are as most of the pearl clutchers on this thread
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Thepeopleversuswork · Today 16:11
skoosh · Today 16:02
Sorry OP this seems like a you problem and you're projecting it on to others.
Its really not “a you problem”, or certainly not uniquely one, and it’s disingenuous and patronising to suggest that the OP is somehow unique in experiencing this.
Millions of people are in sexless or low sex marriages. There are posts about it on a daily basis on here.
Why do people feel the need to make OP feel that she’s particularly unlucky or that this is somehow her fault? Why can’t you at least acknowledge that everyone has a different perspective on this?''

I think there are absolutely loads of men on here recently trying to police women into their places

The only thing surprising about this thread is that there are so many (presumably) adult women who simply cannot countenance that anyone feels differently about this topic than they do. I find that quite odd

Exactly, it’s strange! Do some people really go through life thinking that their experiences must be the same as everyone else’s?

@Duckiewasthefirstniceguy

The only thing surprising about this thread is that there are so many (presumably) adult women who simply cannot countenance that anyone feels differently about this topic than they do. I find that quite odd

Exactly this. Some people love the familiarity of sex with someone they have been having sex with for years. Others find it a huge turnoff.

It shouldn’t be such a shocking idea, in 2025, that some people love shagging their husbands and some don’t.

No offence but I’m not sure you understand the meaning of promiscuity OP..

Its interesting you use the term super quick to reassert their sexual promiscuity within their long term marriages - phrasing this as though it’s somehow weird or distasteful to still have good or prolific sex with your long term partner.

I think you would benefit from some therapy (alone, not with your dh) to discuss this. I haven’t read all your posts but for what it’s worth, imo, if you feel like you’re shagging your brother the relationship is dead and you should get out. Theres probably still lots of good sex out there to be had - and you can remain best mates with your dh!

the cohort of people who are super quick to reassert their sexual promiscuity within their long term marriages

Promiscuity doesn’t mean what you think it does and makes no sense in the context of that sentence.

I don’t think the responses are particularly surprising. Or ‘interesting’. People are different. Some people like familiarity and having sex with their best friend, whose body and proclivities they already know intimately, is their perfect setup.

Some people crave novelty. For them, familiarity breeds contempt and boredom, and monogamy can become a bit stifling. Which is not to say that they could or would cheat (or would even want to). Just that, after a period, they get a bit bored with relationship/marriage sec (and possibly other facets).

And there are lots of people who fall somewhere between to the two camps. Or belong to one at one point in their lives and another at another.

The only thing surprising about this thread is that there are so many (presumably) adult women who simply cannot countenance that anyone feels differently about this topic than they do. I find that quite odd.

I think the problem with this thread and why it’s become so heated is that instead of the heading being:

Long term marriage is like shagging your best friend

it should’ve been:

MY Long term marriage is like shagging your best friend

The OP has taken her own experience and wrongly assumed that everyone else in a long term relationship must be in the same boat as her, and feel like they are “shagging their brother”.

That’s actually quite a strange thing to assume. I’m still extremely happy in my long term relationship but I wouldn’t start a thread with:

Long term marriage is so wonderful - being this happy after 25 years and still at it like rabbits!

My best friend is a woman so not not really!
And no, even if the passion has faded it certainly is not like shagging your brother! That’s a different kind of thing altogether. Doesn’t the added years of closeness and shared life experience just make it more intimate? I do know plenty of women who say they’d be happy to never have sex again but I don’t think it’s because they look at their partners differently just they don’t have much energy for it any more!

I do think that unless you absolutely fancied the pants off your partner when you first got together, the sexual attraction will inevitably fade iver time. This was the case with my longterm ex. I never really fancied him in the first place tbh. It fizzled out very quickly for me and I just had the absolute ick for a very long time (that coupled with him being emotionally abusive....) until I was brave enough to leave. I just couldn't face never having passionate sex ever again from my early 40s ffs!
My now husband and I have an amazing sex life! I absolutely fancy the pants off him and still cant believe how lucky I am! We are very much over familiar with each other's habits (toilet in front of each other etc) but I think that makes me love him even more. I'm so confident around him that I think it really solidifies our relationship

Can no one else see that half the replies on this thread seem coordinated. It happens all the time on here and no one says anythng

Sounds like you prefer Tinder and serial shags. Each to their own.

I'm surprised you know the details of all your friends sex lives! Most of my friends don't talk about their sex lives. I have no idea what is considered average for couples in very LTR.

After 35 years I love him more and think he is even more sexy.
Never bored in that department.

I know what you mean, OP. Some very odd replies on this thread that totally miss the point.

“WhAt’S wRoNg WiTh ShAgGiNg YoUr FrIeNd?!”

Nothing. If you fancy each other. But most people don’t fancy all their mates, they just have a platonic friendship with them and the idea of sexual activity with them would feel quite offputting. Seeing someone in a sexual way is very different from a loving friendship with a good mate.

I also understand how this happens in relationships, and honestly there’s been hundreds of threads on here about it happening in one way or another! The classic one being “DH wants sex but I don’t, I just don’t like it anymore and that’s that!” Yet two weeks after the split they are shagging like a horny dog because they hadn’t “gone off sex” at all, they just didn’t fancy their husband anymore or the passion/lust had gone. It is so common.

It happened for me with an ex, I found him attractive but I guess I’d never been utterly blown away by him sexually, so after 11 years, as much as I loved him, I found sex with him very difficult. So sadly it was time to end the relationship. Things with current DP are very different, and a huge amount of lust was there from the start.

the OP was I think most long-term marriages end up with this problem

and the answer really is, of course not MOST long-term marriages. It's the over-the-top reaction to anyone having different experience that is puzzling, and frankly sometimes unhinged.

No it’s absolutely not the only thing i can come up with but what I believe right now is that regardless of what your feelings are or opinions are on anything on this thread so far, I don’t believe anyone wouldn’t think that your post isn’t deeply unhinged and concerning, your post is misogynistic and actually quite threatening. I believe this post has been hijacked. I won’t report you at the moment so that hopefully other posters can see what’s going on here

Quite 😂😂

Or pearl clutching because some women (whispers) like to have sex with their partner! Faint in horror and disbelief!

(Pretty sure even in the Handmaid, June enjoyed having sex with her lover, and that seems to be the reference for some posters on here 😂😂)