Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

17 year old DD phone restrictions

238 replies

marionemread · 27/12/2017 23:33

For the past few years I've taken all electronic devices off my 17 year old daughter at 9:30pm and her WiFi goes off completely at 9:30pm. This is the same for weekends and during the holidays. This results in constant arguments and her attitude has worsened including her swearing and arguing with me and being very reluctant to give her phone over. Am I being too strict?

OP posts:
Theresnonamesleft · 27/12/2017 23:36

Yes. She will be an adult soon and you are treating her like a small child

Sparklingbrook · 27/12/2017 23:37

Yes. She is too old for those sort of restrictions.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 27/12/2017 23:38

Yes too strict. She needs to manage her own time.

Fishfingersandwichnocheese · 27/12/2017 23:38

Yes. I cannot imagine my mum trying to pull that with me at 17.

But then I didn’t live at home and I worked so I suppose it was different.

But seriously do you intend on letting her grow up ? Because if she can’t work out when to go to sleep at 17 she’s not going to be able to is she ?

I actually can’t belive you do it on holidays and on weekends too. She can’t even watch a film in bed until 10 - that’s crazy.

Sparklesdontshine · 27/12/2017 23:38

Absolutely ridiculous!! She's not a baby!

DailyMailDontStealMyThread · 27/12/2017 23:39

Why don’t you trust her?

Tinselistacky · 27/12/2017 23:40

I had my own flat at 17!!

furryelephant · 27/12/2017 23:40

I think you’re going the right way to losing any hope of a relationship with your DD when she is an adult to be honest. Trust and respect goes both ways.

Fishfingersandwichnocheese · 27/12/2017 23:41

It’s actually really controlling. A bit odd too.

Sparklingbrook · 27/12/2017 23:42

Is she at school or college? What are her plans for the future?

DramaAlpaca · 27/12/2017 23:44

As everyone else has said, she's too old to have restrictions placed on her like that. And if you want to have a good relationship with her as an adult you need to loosen the apron strings now.

Snowman41 · 27/12/2017 23:44

Why do you do that?

BackforGood · 27/12/2017 23:45

Yes, too strict, IMO.
Next year she will quite possibly be living in a completely different part of the country and you won't see her for 3 months at a stretch. You need to give her chance to learn to regulate herself - bedtimes, phone use, etc., long before that or she is likely to sink at University having no-one inflicting boundaries on her for the first time.

RicottaPancakes · 27/12/2017 23:47

I think it's fine.

princesssparkle1 · 27/12/2017 23:50

Wow. That's some draconian mothering youre doing there 😳😡

Sparklingbrook · 27/12/2017 23:52

Why is 9.30pm the optimum time?

Original poster
marionemread · 27/12/2017 23:53

She's currently in her last year of school and off to uni a fair way away next year. I don't trust that she'll go to sleep and not stay on it all night. Causes many arguments especially on weekends and during the holidays. Weekdays she is ok with handing it over but complains she can't listen to music or talk to her friends.

OP posts:
supermodel · 27/12/2017 23:53

I think this is too strict and you should allow her more freedom.

Original poster
marionemread · 27/12/2017 23:54

9:30pm is the time we go into our room so we take it off her when we go upstairs. This is the same time for my 16 yr old DS and 12 yr old DS.

OP posts:
RicottaPancakes · 27/12/2017 23:54

Hopefully this is teaching her good habits.

Sparklingbrook · 27/12/2017 23:54

How do you plan to police phone usage when she's at University? 9.30pm is very very early.

Snowman41 · 27/12/2017 23:55

She is off to Uni in a few months but you don't trust her with her mobile phone after 9.30pm Confused

Fishfingersandwichnocheese · 27/12/2017 23:56

Honestly I think it’s ridiculous.
If she stays on it an doesn’t sleep so what ? It’s her problem not yours.

She’s hardly going to be prepared to be an adult at this rate.

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 27/12/2017 23:56

Way way too strict.

By 17 she should be learning how to regulate/look after herself and set boundaries.

When are you going to let her choose her own bedtime/routine??

Totally batshit crazy, controlling, inappropriate and unfair.

Fishfingersandwichnocheese · 27/12/2017 23:57

At least let her use her own internet on her phone.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.