17 year old DD phone restrictions

[marionemread]

For the past few years I've taken all electronic devices off my 17 year old daughter at 9:30pm and her WiFi goes off completely at 9:30pm. This is the same for weekends and during the holidays. This results in constant arguments and her attitude has worsened including her swearing and arguing with me and being very reluctant to give her phone over. Am I being too strict?

@greenshadow
Go lie down or something

Hope your mum has a good read of this thread and realises what a gigantic bitch she’s been being.

Good luck with Uni and adult life away from your family!

Hi OP. I really feel for you but as PP have said, yelling at your control-freak parents will have the opposite effect to the one you want.

My 16-yr old has far more freedom than you - I need her to develop the skills to become the amazing woman I know she can be. Your mother is lucky that you still seem to be a sensible and hard working young woman.

As others have said, keep your head down so you get the A-Level results you need. On that front, do you have a teacher/counsellor that you could confide in at school who could maybe help negotiate a later wifi cut off - perhaps as you need the additional time to collaborate on a project/ element of work? (or any other valid excuse?).

As far as uni goes, Liverpool is a fantastic place. And if you cannot face going home, I’m only an hour away from there and you would be welcome.

After reading through this thread I'm convinced this is a complete wind up . Sorry

I never take my 14 year old’s phone away; never have or any other devices and guess what she’s quite capable of self-regulating and going to bed when she’s tired. Last night it was around 9:45, the night before 10:30, one night last week she was extremely tired and was in bed at 8:30 with her phone off.

Had she ever messed around on her phone after I said bedtime when she was a bit younger I would have taken it off her. She earned my trust, abided by the rules and we have no issues with her sat up all night on her phone, using it when she shouldn’t. She knows when she’s tired and turns off her own WiFi/data before sleep.

OP you are being way too strict and controlling. At 17, your daughter is more than capable of knowing when to turn her phone off and go to sleep. You need to allow her to grow up.

So you are treating her the same as her much younger siblings?! No wonder she is rebelling. Time to treat her like an adult!

Wouldn't set such unreasonable times for a 17year old, I do for my 4 year old though.

Such a shame people only bother to read the first post and then wade in without actually reading the rest of the thread. The number of things that get missed along the way.

MrsFassy and others
Read the full thread!!!

My DD is nearly 16. We have WiFi turned off at 11.30pm on school days. We'll lift this when she's 16 and she'll need to learn to regulate herself. I think you're being way too OTT. Can she not even watch downloaded TV?

Can't watch anything because there is no electronics past 9:30 other than a radio

If i was your daughter I’d be hideous in rebellion.

When I got to uni I’d drink myself silly, shag anything that moves and probably get chucked out in the first week.

Let her stay up and feel like shit and start hoovering whilst she’s sleeping. Im like the minister of no fun and I don’t have teens yet, at 17 in my parents even tried that shit I’d of laughed and sworn at them, I was driving at 17, I even slept over at a fire station because my mum locked me out.

Haha you've totally set yourself up that she'll never contact you from uni if you're this controlling, she'll be glad to move out!

Ah I didn't RTFT.

@Redhead - read the thread

gods and sits with the 17 year old with no internet connection

Sorry

How did a reverse end up on the front page?!

OP enjoy the sleep and the alcohol free living. Get your head down and get your grades. Then you'll have choices.

Shouting and swearing may not be the best way to win your mother round .

Good luck with your A levels and uni.

How will she know how much alcohol she can tolerate- where her limit is? How does she know right now how late she can stay up and be able to function in the morning? Answer- she doesn't. You've made all the decisions for her. My bet is that it doesn't just stop there either. I had a controlling mum as well. I rebelled HARD. You better prepare for a brutal wake-up call.

I'd let your Mum read this thread. My 10 and 13 year olds are able to self regulate, 13 year old has to be in bed by 9.30 pm weekdays and no phones on in the bedrooms after this. But he is allowed kindle, or music if a school night. Not a school night, then he self regulates and copes with being tired the next day.

I wasn't allowed to watch TV in the evenings when I was a teenager, when I went to university, one of the first things I did was to buy a TV then watch it. Whenever I wanted. This backlash is what I fear your parents may face with social media / phones / tech or whatever if you aren't allowed to self regulate.

Can you suggest to them a certain time for school nights and nothing the rest of the time?

Sorry op but you sound like an awful parent. I'm surprised she hasnt moved out.

Just rtft oops!

Have tried to suggest alternative times and no phones restrictions on weekends and holidays but went in one ear and out the other, refuses to listen

Your mum is a bitch, plain and simple really. Controlling and batshit also come to mind. Keep your head down and get yourself to uni. Or if possible find a flat share now if you have your own money. I’m actually seriously pissed off that they have taken and restricted the tablet that you yourself had bought. What about school work and revision and working as a group to revise with friends. None of that can be done because you are restricted too early. You are 17, not a baby anymore and your mum needs to realise that. I’d be a twat and really hurt her once you leave for uni. I would ignore any contact she tries to engage with you and I wouldn’t let her know how you are for at least a month. That actually sounds crazy now I’ve wrote it down, but it would teach her a lesson and hopefully spare your siblings the same harsh treatment. Good luck Op and get those grades so you can get the fuck out of there. Don’t go mad with the drink and partying though, be sensible and show her she is wrong.

I wrote my 13 year old had a time of 9.30 pm, this is a time we came to agreed by him. At 17, as long as his school work was being done, I'd assume that he needed the self motivation to work this out for himself. These are valuable life skills that are being denied to you by your parents. Is there a Grandparent or Aunt / Uncle that you could talk to and help you to liaise with your parents over this?