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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

17 year old DD phone restrictions

238 replies

marionemread · 27/12/2017 23:33

For the past few years I've taken all electronic devices off my 17 year old daughter at 9:30pm and her WiFi goes off completely at 9:30pm. This is the same for weekends and during the holidays. This results in constant arguments and her attitude has worsened including her swearing and arguing with me and being very reluctant to give her phone over. Am I being too strict?

OP posts:
crimsonlake · 28/12/2017 00:56

The op has lost her daughter already, there is no relationship left. I cannot believe what I am reading, she has no intention of listening to any advice given, She is playing a game with us here, something is not right.

pambeesley · 28/12/2017 00:57

I pray this thread is a joke.

What do you think will happen when she goes away?!? She will totally rebel and I doubt you will see much of her in holiday time!

Why don’t you sit down with her, discuss your concerns about her drinking (which are pretty usual for her age) and come up with new ways forward for both of you.

notapizzaeater · 28/12/2017 00:57

She's an adult and it's not up to you to police her for sleep, not one person here has agreed with you - don't you think that's telling you something ?

Taylor22 · 28/12/2017 01:01

This is like some alternate world.
In a decade or so you're going to be bleating and crying on Gransnet that your daughter never talks to you and won't let you near your granddaughter and you don't understand because you were such an awesome mum.

Let me save you a lot of wondering. You're not.

Original poster
marionemread · 28/12/2017 01:01

Sorry, I am in fact the DD. Snuck the family laptop and started this to find out if my mum was being too strict with me or if I was just being unreasonable. Needed some help deciding what to do in this situation.

OP posts:
teaiseverything · 28/12/2017 01:02

This has to be a piss take

Sparklingbrook · 28/12/2017 01:03

Oh a reverse. Fantastic.

Original poster
marionemread · 28/12/2017 01:03

I didn't want to say I was a teenager because I didn't think anyone would pay attention to my post if I wasn't a mum and I desperately needed insight into the situation.

OP posts:
Taylor22 · 28/12/2017 01:04

Keep your head down. Just get through to Uni. And then cut her off.
Send her a text at 1 minute passed your bedtime telling her your never seeing her again. 😂

Also with my mum head on. When you suddenly have all your freedom you're not going to know how much your alcohol limit is. Don't mix to much to quick. Stick with your friends and be careful.

Sparklingbrook · 28/12/2017 01:04

I think you have had lots of insight.

NorbertTheDragon · 28/12/2017 01:05

This isn't for real surely?

You go upstairs at 9.30pm every night? All of you? Even weekends and holidays?

Bloody hell, all my kids (youngest is 10) stayed up till 11 tonight as we were watching a film.

My oldest is 18 and has his phone with him in bed as he likes listening to music - as do I. I turn the wifi off when I go to bed. My younger teens aren't allowed on their devices after dinner and don't take them to bed.

The only part I agree with is making her go to work with a hangover, it's something I think most people have to do at some point.

But grounding her for 4 months? Poor girl. I bet she can't wait to leave for uni!

Sparklingbrook · 28/12/2017 01:05

It's a reverse Norbert.

NorbertTheDragon · 28/12/2017 01:06

Ah, cross post.

Sparklingbrook · 28/12/2017 01:07

I never turn out WiFi off.

Sparklingbrook · 28/12/2017 01:08

*our

Batmanwearspants · 28/12/2017 01:09

She needs to learn now how to self regulate whilst she has you as a security net. Otherwise she will not be able to cope at uni with sudden freedom.

Become more lenient or you will lose your daughter.

meandmytinfoilhat · 28/12/2017 01:09

Does she have additional needs or classed as a vulnerable person?

If not, i don't think you should be taking her phone away, she's nearly an adult. It's ridiculous to be honest and very controlling. No wonder you've been getting attitude.

Sparklingbrook · 28/12/2017 01:09

It's a reverse.

Batmanwearspants · 28/12/2017 01:09

Ahh just seen update. Ignore.

Original poster
marionemread · 28/12/2017 01:10

Just because it's a reverse doesn't make it any less true. I've said exactly what happens in our house and how I react to it, by arguing, swearing and playing my music too loud to piss them off when they've taken my electronics.

OP posts:
ClandestineAdulation · 28/12/2017 01:10

OP I hope this insight has been helpful but I’m not sure what to advise. Does your DM have any idea how unreasonable she is being?

I’d keep my head down if I were you, April isn’t too far away(!)

But also, if you’re using the family laptop, don’t forget to clear the history/sign out of MN - getting caught here is all you need!

Sparklingbrook · 28/12/2017 01:10

Well I am off to bed myself now it's 1.10am Shock

Taylor22 · 28/12/2017 01:11

You have the greatest reason in the world to succeed at your a levels. You have to get away from her.

RebelRogue · 28/12/2017 01:12

It's simple. Drop the childish antics, try and regain your privileges, keep your head down and once you're at Uni, you're free. Don't be a dumbass though...

Topseyt · 28/12/2017 01:13

You sound utterly self absorbed and ridiculous.

You seem to think that everyone except you is wrong and you don't get that parenting a 17 year old is very different from parenting a 12 year old.

Mind you, I think that given half a chance you will still be doing this when she is 30.

Are you going to try and control her when she gets to uni too? You'll become a laughing stock.

When my DD1 started uni back in 2013 she had a friend who's parents used to phone him every night at 10pm on the dot because that was bedtime and they were making sure he adhered to it! He didn't, of course. He sometimes took the call and played along with it at the time while his friends were dying of laughter. Then afterwards they would all, including him, bugger off out to the union, or to a nightclub to get drunk.

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