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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

17 year old DD phone restrictions

238 replies

marionemread · 27/12/2017 23:33

For the past few years I've taken all electronic devices off my 17 year old daughter at 9:30pm and her WiFi goes off completely at 9:30pm. This is the same for weekends and during the holidays. This results in constant arguments and her attitude has worsened including her swearing and arguing with me and being very reluctant to give her phone over. Am I being too strict?

OP posts:
FrivolouslyFancifulFannie · 28/12/2017 00:24

is this real?

Sparklingbrook · 28/12/2017 00:24

It all sounds very controlling and complicated. She must be marking the days off til next September. She will love Uni.

nousername123 · 28/12/2017 00:25

You sound like a control freak. Let her make her own mistakes. She's 17!! This is totally unreasonable and she will resent You!

marionemread · 28/12/2017 00:25

Yes, I started this as I've had enough of arguing with her and want to know mum's opinions on phone restrictions and strictness

OP posts:
Voice0fReason · 28/12/2017 00:25

Don't be surprised if she doesn't come back to visit once she has gone to Uni!

Caulk · 28/12/2017 00:26

Is this a reverse?

Sparklingbrook · 28/12/2017 00:27

Well i think you have had all the opinions now you need to crack on and be a parent to a 17 year old .

Mossend · 28/12/2017 00:27

This isn't for real surely

Taylor22 · 28/12/2017 00:29

You're not going to have to worry about arguing with her soon.
Or seeing her. Or hearing from her. Or her acknowledging your existence.

marionemread · 28/12/2017 00:29

Is it not better though for when she is at sixth form to take it off her to ensure she gets a good night's sleep? But the issue is when I take it off her she puts on her radio and puts the radio music loud so much so that I can't sleep.

OP posts:
Mossend · 28/12/2017 00:32

No, you have to let her police herself before she goes away

Tissunnyupnorth · 28/12/2017 00:32

You’ve got it so wrong it’s sad.

ClandestineAdulation · 28/12/2017 00:32

Have you considered the fact that music helps her relax?!

If I didn’t have access to music in the evenings at that age I would’ve been a mess! It relaxed me and helped me sleep. Having a phone meant I could choose what to listen to instead of listening to whatever was on the radio....

Theresnonamesleft · 28/12/2017 00:32

You don’t want th arguments? Treat her as an adult not a 12 year old.

She bought her own tablet and you are gleeful that you confiscated it.

You don’t want music to disturb you, give her possessions back.

What happens when she is 18? You still going to police her? Don’t be surprised if she tells you to fuck yourself.

Voice0fReason · 28/12/2017 00:34

I don't blame her! If I was in her position I think I'd do anything I could to annoy you!

Are you expecting her to continue following these rules when she's at Uni? If not, the lessons you are trying to teach are clearly pointless.

GnomeDePlume · 28/12/2017 00:34

Again, I'll say it. My DD is the same age. We do not stop her drinking. If she goes to a party and gets drunk then she is the one who has to live with the hangover. On the occasion that she was sick at a party my only punishment was to make her take flowers to the host's mum by way of apology.

The internet is there for the household to use. Given that you are posting at midnight (assuming you are in the UK) can you honestly claim moral high ground?

marionemread · 28/12/2017 00:34

She did, tonight when I asked for her phone she told me to fuck off and hence the argument and saying no to her sleepover on Saturday.

OP posts:
Taylor22 · 28/12/2017 00:36

Her Freshers is going to be brutal 😂

pieceofpurplesky · 28/12/2017 00:36

You do know that Liverpool is a major party city? By not allowing your daughter to make mistakes when she has the safety of Home to return to you are actually endangering her. Your daughter needs to be able to police herself and know her limits - she is going to go crazy wild when she is let of your controlling leash.
Do you control every aspect of your children's lives?

FrivolouslyFancifulFannie · 28/12/2017 00:37

i suspect she wont be able to sleep anyway, she is probably seething and stewing in her room dreaming of leaving for uni, does she have to stay in her room at 9.30 or is she free to go downstairs and watch a bit of tv, make some supper?

pieceofpurplesky · 28/12/2017 00:37

*off. It's late

Mossend · 28/12/2017 00:37

I don't think I've ever agreed with a child telling a parent to fuck off but I can honestly see your daughters point on this one.
Why is she grounded on Saturday?

marionemread · 28/12/2017 00:39

Well no electronics past 9:30 and as we go upstairs no one is allowed downstairs. Another reason why it annoys her because she can't watch her programs. Each DC in their room at 9:30

OP posts:
Topseyt · 28/12/2017 00:40

You are having these arguments with her precisely because you are so ridiculously strict and controlling of an almost adult young woman.

I am 51 and I would rebel against you.

I have doubts about whether or not you are for real anyway. Either that or it could be a reverse.

pieceofpurplesky · 28/12/2017 00:40

Do you go to bed at that time?
I get the 12 year old and restrictions but 16/17 no way.

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