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Dating Thread 200 - Spring is in the Air, Ghosters Beware

(394 Posts)
cravingthelook Mon 22-Feb-21 09:26:31

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

OP’s posts: |
bangheadhere40 Mon 22-Feb-21 09:30:03

Checking in...thanks for the new thread.

Eesha Mon 22-Feb-21 09:37:58

Thanks for the new thread @cravingthelook. Hope you are all feeling chirpier with the better weather. Schools look to be opening in a few weeks too. I've taken a small step back from OLD purely because lack of interest from my side plus possibly not much from anyone else. My heart really isnt in it plus I've been thinking my children are so small and I'm so busy with them that I'm not sure what I have to offer anyone. I think my spirit has been squashed a bit!

I've been focussing on my exercising (although I still seem to be putting on weight!) plus I had a nosey on the job front with the intention of starting something later in the year and made a good contact who has something right now so things are moving along.

WingingItAtLife Mon 22-Feb-21 09:58:12

Thanks for the new thread...
I've just been looking at the rules again...
What does rule 10 mean?

10. No dating the thread

LongtimelurkerL Mon 22-Feb-21 09:59:12

Thanks @cravingthelook!
It means you can’t date someone else from this dating thread @WingingItAtLife

WingingItAtLife Mon 22-Feb-21 10:03:20

Thank you! Makes sense now 🙂

Yellowhighheels Mon 22-Feb-21 10:04:39

Thanks for the new thread! Sorry Craving yes, DTD... all good there wink

In all honestly, I wouldn't assume Kevin was joking. There are some right miseries out there

frankiefirstyear Mon 22-Feb-21 11:28:17

Urgh won't let me 'watch' the thread so joining in here so I don't lose all this marvellous support and advice!

havecourage8bekind Mon 22-Feb-21 11:50:09

Love the new title! I'm still not brave enough to get back on dating sites after my ex found me on one and started hmm however I've downloaded a random chat app and enjoying a little flirt to build the confidence. Can't wait for some normality so we can meet people naturally instead of OLD! X

cravingthelook Mon 22-Feb-21 11:50:42


No plans to see Mr Hometown no, I feel he's doing the slow retreat just now. I'm letting him. His loss.

OP’s posts: |
TheCatWithTheHat Mon 22-Feb-21 12:38:24

Thanks for the new thread @cravingthelook

@uttersocks - thanks! Sorry to hear you were feeling blue last night. That's a tough decision to make - have you spoken to Mr G to lay your cards on the table?

@HairyArsedMan sorry that your date didn't work out, but at least you had positively tropical weather for your walk, rather than having to avoid frost bite.

Maybe we need to give Kevin some Tinder profile advice. Although he's probably having a similar number of matches to my shiny new one (i.e., none).

It's all a bit depressing - I've got a pretty decent profile now I think, certainly more upbeat than Kevin, and the 50% of guys who have their own teeth and houses. My photos are OK too I think. A couple of the gang here have reviewed them, and although I'm sure you're too polite to say if I look like a cross between Shrek and Mr Potato Head, I like to think I'm not too bad. Yet still almost no swipes.

CautiousBlonde Mon 22-Feb-21 12:40:08

Hey they!

I name change a lot but have been on the thread a bit.

I’m not sure I’m cut out for the on line dating tbh but I’m sticking it out for now. Am hoping to meet someone in real life but I never go out so I guess that’s a long shot. Mind you I did get chatted up whilst putting air in my tyre the other week and a window cleaner asked me out Whilst I was doing the school run a while back grin. Sadly neither were to my liking. Where the hell are all the fit blokes????

I’m peri-menopausal and my sex drive is through the god damn roof. Never in my life I have I ever felt like this and it seems that I’m likely gonna miss the boat Coz I can’t find anyone I want to shag (not that we can at the moment anyway, but the end of lockdown appears to be in sight). I’ve been single for 9years (through choice, but still). Sadly I’m not a fwb type of person, it just wouldn’t work for me. Gutted!

Got one iron, Mr BDSM but I think I should give him a swerve, as it scares me a little grin

Slothmomma Mon 22-Feb-21 12:51:42

Thanks for the new thread craving

cat maybe after tonight announcement traffic on the sites might pick up. I think people are definitely waiting to see if any point matching if little chance of normal dating

As for me - i matched with 2 new irons that I liked look of. One I noticed never initiated chat so I didn't message at weekend and now haven't heard so think I was just an ego boost swipe and he wasn't interested. Still chatting with the other but I'm not sure he's that fussed either as rarely messages first.

And yesterday I matched with a previous ghoster. I don't know why I swiped again but I thought it might give him opportunity to explain/apologise if he swiped me too as I thought we had real chemistry before he disappeared. Anyway we matched and he messaged straight away asking me to call him. Told him I hadn't kept his number so gave him mine and he called. He apologised for being cowardly but said that his ex had wanted to give things another go so he'd tried hence why he disappeared but he was sorry for not just telling me. It didn't work out for them (again) anyway. We were on phone over an hour and he remembered a lot and asked me about stuff he had remembered. He then called again later and asked if we could meet this time. I'm not sure if I should have given a chance but I said we could meet for a coffee and walk. Hes called today already for a quick chat and said he'll call later too after work. But he seemed keen last time too so we'll see whether this meet happens

bangheadhere40 Mon 22-Feb-21 13:17:48

sloth he could be genuine, take it you never got to meet up stage last time? I would give him the benefit of the doubt once.

cat i agree the sites should pick up soon. I've seen your profile and you are certainly no Kevin, I have no idea why you aren't getting swipes!

I'm still chatting to Mr Spreadsheet, seems easy to talk to, funny, same values...I'm not fretting about messaging. He will probably disappear now I've said that 😅

bangheadhere40 Mon 22-Feb-21 13:19:18

Apologies, paragraphs didn't work there!

ThisTooShallBeFantastic Mon 22-Feb-21 13:25:50

I quite liked Kevin's written profile but then I'm a complete sucker for Shakepeare. I probably wouldn't have swiped on him if there were no smiles in his photos though. Why do so many men find it so hard to smile for the camera? Do the think the miserable look is more manly? Do they think it is sultry?

I was bored and lonely yesterday and messaged Mr Bike, just to see how he was getting on (old iron, only one date, he knows I'm in a relationship so it was just as friends). Bit of chit chat then he sent me a video he 'thought I might find funny'. It was sub-Benny Hill crude, misogynistic bollocks, I think by the prince among men who does Mrs Brown's Boys. I said, 'No, I don't find that funny, it's crude'. He sent a less crude, actually quite funny video I'd seen before, but I've not replied and I've deleted his number. Why do some men believe that women will find male-gaze, sex-obsessed, women-belittling stuff actually funny? I'll never understand.

Thanks for the new thread @cravingthelook.

Slothmomma Mon 22-Feb-21 13:27:04

banghead no we didn't meet last time (oct). Date was arranged but he cancelled morning of I think saying he had toothache and then ghosted within day or 2 after that. No harm in meeting I guess - I have no expectations

DdraigGoch Mon 22-Feb-21 13:44:34

I quite liked Kevin's written profile but then I'm a complete sucker for Shakepeare. I probably wouldn't have swiped on him if there were no smiles in his photos though. Why do so many men find it so hard to smile for the camera? Do the think the miserable look is more manly? Do they think it is sultry?
I'm hopeless at forcing a smile. If you want a photo of me smiling and looking relaxed then you have to catch me off-guard.

frankiefirstyear Mon 22-Feb-21 13:51:27

@Slothmomma I would definitely have given another chance. I hope it works out for you this time, bet he was kicking himself for missing out on you last time. A few years ago I had 2 irons and unfortunately chose wrongly but kept in touch with the other who I still think is fab but met his now wife and mother of his child so really pleased he's happy as he was lovely, totally my bad for going with the other seemingly more exciting guy who turned out to be awful 🤦‍♀️

TheCatWithTheHat Mon 22-Feb-21 13:58:31

I've got no photos of me with a big toothy grin - the best I can manage is a simple smile. I'm like DraigGoch - I just can't smile on command, as it looks forced and awkward.

Dancerinthemoonlight Mon 22-Feb-21 14:03:24

@cravingthelook thank you for the new thread

Dancerinthemoonlight Mon 22-Feb-21 14:05:35

Jumping on the bandwagon and hoping for some critiques of my profile. It is a bit sure so not sure if I should add anything else or what to add.

I prefer the country side over the big city. I'm definitely a country girl at heart. When I'm not found wandering round the fields or out in the water surfing I'm usually in the kitchen baking/cooking. I was baking banana bread before it was the lockdown hobby of choice. Find out more by swiping right.

Not looking for something casual

Slothmomma Mon 22-Feb-21 14:06:04

frankie 🤦‍♀️ that would be my luck but I rarely ever get to the point of having to make a choice as even if chatting with more than one they usually fade away before it comes to that 😆

VanGoghsDog Mon 22-Feb-21 14:10:33

I just saw a profile with a guy shaving, taken in the mirror, in black and white, foam all over his face. Spect he thinks it's arty. I think it's a new low.

On a totally unrelated note - soooo many guys have beards now! I know some guys grew them due to lockdown, same as we women ditching our bras I guess, but I'm not that keen on beards so it really limits the field.

Onesmallstep67 Mon 22-Feb-21 14:18:04

Thanks craving for the new thread. Great title.

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