Dating Thread 200 - Spring is in the Air, Ghosters Beware

[cravingthelook]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@havecourage8bekind i remember you, glad you are hedging your bets and feeling much better!

Puss shot

I've had a few pet anecdotes. I had a date with someone a while back, and she came over to mine. It was all going well, sipping champagne on my sofa and chatting. She was wearing tights with little sparkly things in, which one of my cats took a liking to and decided it made a great cat toy.

She wasn't expecting this though, and the moment she felt a playful paw on her leg threw her glass of champagne up in surprise which smashed on the floor, leaving shattered glass in a puddle of bubbly

Another one was quite recent - I had a second date with someone back in December (I can't remember if I gave her a name), and things got heated and we headed up to my bedroom. Only to find one of my cats curled up with her head on my pillow - looking rather disgruntled to be disturbed by two half-naked people!

Also I won't go into too many details, but some sex toys have feathery ends that look very much like cat toys. You can picture the scene - all very heated, then suddenly a little furry creature playfully attacks said toy at the most inappropriate moment.

@NotAgainNoMore Good luck tonight! Hopefully it'll be over with quickly, and as painlessly as is possible.

@eesha think it's just that initial sting of them dissapearing isn't it! His loss & all that...

@thecatwiththehat that was the laugh I didn't know I needed this morning!!!

Glad to be of service

One of mine is a bit of a perv, and likes to watch. It's not unusual to look up in the middle of things and see her little furry face just a couple of feet away staring at me, then I have to shoo her away without losing my concentration!

She also likes long hair, so there have been a couple of moments where I've been sat on the sofa having a nice, sensual moment with someone - and suddenly they feel a rough cat tongue licking their hair

And I wonder why I'm still single...

@cravingthelook @Mayzee and everyone else going through lockdown horrors and despair - sending huge hugs. I definitely hear you all. I really struggle with lockdown and trying to work, live some sort of a life and sort my divorce when my support systems are out is difficult, no matter how much counselling I have. I really miss the gym and my PT too.And I hate my job. Always here if you want to PM for support. It can be hard talking about things IRL sometimes.

@NotAgainNoMore wow, good luck for later. Cheating bastard. Let us know how it all goes.

On the pet front, Mr G and Mr L both have cats that mirror their personalities. Mr G's cat is attention-seeking and wants to be close to me all the time and Mr L's cat is lovely but a bit of a loner! If I had a pet to mirror how I feel right now it would alternate between being a sloth and a Tasmanian devil - there is no middle way!

@frankiefirstyear are you giving disappointing sex guy another chance? The first time I had sex with Mr G it really was very average, bordering on disappointing, but now he is bloody incredible. I just think it was nerves the first couple of times but I'm SO glad I persevered. Mind you there is a difference between nerves/adjusting to each other and just bad sex. Mr Bike was so awful that I knew it was beyond redemption.

God listen to me, this time last year I was dating Mr Beard but before we DTD and I'd not had sex in years. Now I'm like Pamela Stephenson, after a year of 'finding myself'.

Still no good at the bloody emotional stuff though!

@NotAgainNoMore sending lots of strength for this evening

@UtterSocks yes I will give it a few more rounds for sure as he's so lovely and has qualities I've never experienced, so just praying the sex catches up soon.

Wondering about others' opinions on to hair or not to hair?? How hairy or bald/shaved etc do we all like things? Having recently purchased an epilator (I seen on previous thread someone else here done the same) I'm wondering where to stop?! Mr M has almost zero hair anywhere but his head...must say I do like a hairy man 🙈 (minus straggly beards which are a no-no) but a jungle is preferable in my case. Even his arms has less hair than mine which I'm sorely aware of when we're cuddled up on the sofa. Should I start epilating my arms now too? Calling the men here - any preferences and ladies if you're partial a hair free zone can you try to convince me it's the way 😅 I mean everyone must love a bit of face stubble on a man surely 😳 🙏

God sake...the one iron I actually quite liked has just dropped the bomb that he still lives with his ex because of "covid and wanting to be near the kids". Thinking this is a deal-breaker for me!

@frankiefirstyear - I wouldn’t worry too much. I generally don’t notice much although a lot of hair reminds me of unwanted glimpses of my mum’s somewhat substantial growler in the 70s. 🙈

Enjoying the cat stories. Reminds me of a kitten I had many moons ago who used to like to sleep right under the covers, down by my legs. Forgot to warn my girlfriend at the time who got a bit of a shock when she came to stay over. 😂

@havecourage8bekind - had you been on a date with him already?

@DudeFromThatLondon 🤣🤣

Blimey all these animal stories

Which is preferable do we think threadies - if your iron comes over of an evening - watching a film and eating something or just chatting and eating?

@LongtimelurkerL I tend to go for eating and then having lots of sex 😂😂😂

@dudefromthatlondon No, only been casually chatting a few days. I say "quite liked" very loosely lol - as in he seems less strange than others I've matched with haha!

HAha @UtterSocks well yes Obv the sex too - I more before the sex

I'm not anti pets ... but there's no way I'd cope with animals in the bed, perving on me DTD or joining in on sofa cuddles.

I'd run a mile

I agree, if anything gets heated, pets should be shut outside of the bedroom door. Same as you would kick anyone else in the family out of the room.

If the cat wants to sleep on the bed in the daytime though, I've no objection.

I would definitely stay away from anyone living with exes now, or all cosy with them. It's just too much of a risk!

Re animals...I would find a dog in the bedroom more off putting than a cat but I'm not sure why! Ideally none though 😁

A little update from me- after backing away from MrTall after he revealed he still 'sort of' lived with his ex, he proved my doubts wrong, showed me proof (that I didn't ask for) that he was separated from his ex several months before we met and has since moved out to his own place.

I'm still cautious because this is very soon after the end of a long relationship for him but I'm enjoying time with him and living in the moment rather than worrying too much about what's to come.

We are now 'official' too after he referred to me as his GF

@30somethingandstillsingle but the question is whether you want to be 'official', did you agree to be his girlfriend or is that an assumption he made?

I'm glad he has his own place, it makes things much easier to show he has split from his ex.

With regard to pets, I have 2 huge dogs who share my bed...not much room for anyone else even in a king size bed.

When Mr K stays over the dogs sleep downstairs.
Only on Saturday mornings can they join us while we have a coffee in bed.

I can't imagine letting any animals in the bedroom when a partner stays over😱

The cat in Mr Cat's boudoir/bed was certainly not invited in by me, nor did I invite him to stroke the cat and stare into its eyes while... well, you know. I never went back to that appalling tip of a house, that's for sure!

My dog joins me and Mr GN on the bed for morning tea and has got used to being unceremoniously kicked out if/when things get busy, but she always spends the night downstairs in her bed. I don't want her traumatised!