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Online dating in your 40s - part 3!

(981 Posts)
StarlightSparkle Mon 25-Jan-21 21:18:09

A new thread, so we can continue discussing the depressing reality of the above!

OP’s posts: |
onemorerose Mon 25-Jan-21 21:33:05

Thanks @StarlightSparkle, the highs and the lows, the fuckwits and fuckbuddys, the they’re in then they’re outs 🙈 still, I’d rather be on this thread than posting about my shitty ex as I was doing 8 years ago 👍

cracracatlady Mon 25-Jan-21 21:35:14

Can I join? only a couple of years short of 40, I feel 50 though. The fuck boys on tinder are adding to my wrinkles

Shayelle2009 Mon 25-Jan-21 21:39:20

Hello... can I join? A few months off 40! I ‘completed’ bumble a couple of weeks ago... not got one chat going. Anyone who matches me I say hello... they don’t reply so I unmatch before the time’s up. So disheartening! What actually is the point in it. Been OLD on and off the last year and in that time gad one coffee, about 6 months ago!!

bangheadhere40 Mon 25-Jan-21 21:47:14

Can I join...also very nearly 40

Unicornamy Mon 25-Jan-21 21:52:37

Can I join please I’m 40 and on bumble. I got ghosted after a month a couple of weeks ago so I’m back on there. Got a number of convos going at the moment but it’s so depressing😫

Shayelle2009 Mon 25-Jan-21 21:52:50

I have a few friends of varying ages (30s, 40s and 50s) all on OLD and all saying the same... nothing good sparking from it whatsoever 🤷🏼‍♀️

Isitreally777 Mon 25-Jan-21 23:12:39

Thank you @StarlightSparkle

So Mr Computer Geek actually confirmed tonight Sunday is on. Now let's hope he actually sticks to it this time, doesn't go to his mate's and gets pissed again, then drunk messages me until 1.30 in the morning.

He sent me a photo earlier, it's a nice photo but he is stood in front of the urinals and I can't unsee them.grin

Mayzee Mon 25-Jan-21 23:36:35

Thanks Starlight- still reading the dating threads, still seeing Mr TG, still cracking up in lockdown 😆

Angelofdeath Tue 26-Jan-21 08:00:40

Thanks Starlight
Waves to all the newbies smile

I'm not on mine right now. I only have one day every other weekend child free so don't see the point.

Although I did go for a walk with my mum the other day & she tried to get me talking to some builders grin

Shayelle2009 Tue 26-Jan-21 08:13:29

waves back 😁 ooooh I like a builder, haha!!

pineappleonpizzaornot Tue 26-Jan-21 09:14:13

@Angelofdeath - My mum also feels the need to tell every male (even her window cleaner!) that I am singe shock, I may as well walk around with engraved on my forehead! My ex also plastered his nice new shiny relationship all over facebook a couple of days ago, it hurt, but not as bad as I thought it would....I feel sorry for the woman, more pissed off he has met someone and Im still digging around in Shreks swamp grin.

Hope he sticks to @Isitreally777 this time!

I also hope that by the end of this 40 page thread, things may be looking up for us I can live in hope

onemorerose Tue 26-Jan-21 10:03:03

Lol @pineappleonpizzaornot shreks swamp so very true. I think I’m going to delete tinder and resign myself to a single life for now.

I got tired of waiting for mr beach to ask me out again and asked him did he fancy another walk. He replied this morning saying sounds good but couldn’t commit til he gets his car sorted (has been complaining about it since last week. I replied saying I hope he gets sorted soon. This is a gentle brush off isn’t it?

onemorerose Tue 26-Jan-21 10:04:14

Hi to the newcomers, I’m newish myself and it feels like it’s gona tits up pretty quickly 🙈

onemorerose Tue 26-Jan-21 10:04:32


pineappleonpizzaornot Tue 26-Jan-21 10:22:13

@onemorerose - Does he need his car for a walk?? Can you drive to his area, sorry, but if he really wanted to then there is public transport etc, but then Im shit at reading men! Think I am also resigning myself to be eaten by Alsatians after spending the next 40 years alone and miserable sad.

On the upside, I move into my house on Friday, I was really excited, but my ex in his new relationship has depressed me, its been a year and it still hurts, the lack of dating potential really doesnt help, it feels like God really hates me. He is in a relationship with someone he met on Tinder and it was his first date, why do the arseholes get all the fun! (not God, my ex lol).
I really feel like Ive had my fair share of shit in my 41 years, Ive had my youngest dad pass away, been involved with at-least 2 narcs, been well and truly shit on by my ex, been a bloody nomad for a year moving from pillar to post, I think its about time I had some bloody luck!
Sorry, I will go away and bang some positiveness into myself!

Angelofdeath Tue 26-Jan-21 11:00:45

Yes onemorerose I'm with pineapple, if he wanted to see you'd he'd look at transport surely?
I don't know though it is hard to know isn't it! There was one I was talking to a while ago & I was looking into transport without even thinking about it (I don't drive though so it's 2nd nature to me)

pineapple sending you a (hug) My life is sadly pretty similar to yours. My ex has been with his gf nearly 3 years as he had every single evening to date for the first 2 years as he never had the kids... It's hard not to be bitter isn't it sad
Haha, your mum sounds similar to mine as well! When I met her I said 'I was going to wait in our normal spot but that creepy man keeps looking at me' & she said 'Well he might be single, shall we go & talk to him? grin

Shayelle I dated a builder before, 34, still lived with mum, never went to work unless she actually came & dragged him out of bed... Not good! (I used to like them before that!)

Isitreally777 Tue 26-Jan-21 11:01:06

@pineappleonpizzaornot just think of the exciting time you'll have moving into your new house. Don't think about your ex(I know it's hard). Our time will come, our perfect man is out there(he just doesn't know it yet).flowers

onemorerose Tue 26-Jan-21 11:27:03

@pineappleonpizzaornot, sending hugs, you are having a rough day with seeing that about your ex, I’d be the same. Hopefully you feel a lot better tomorrow! You are due some good fortune it will be coming to you, starting with the house move, that’s exciting!!

I’ve given him the benefit of the doubt and taking it to mean he needs his evenings to sort out his car. When I asked him I told him I’d be free this evening and tomorrow evening for a walk.
He’s texting still and I might just ramp up the flirting.

pineappleonpizzaornot Tue 26-Jan-21 11:42:02

Thanks @Angelofdeath and @Isitreally777 - I am struggling today, and dont really talk to anyone about it, so you ladies are my ears! I dont really know why it still hurts because I would never ever go back there, just pissed off he is having a great time and I feel like I am still picking the pieces up a year later, it wasnt easy as I moved across the country to be with him, so my job was up there, all family and friends down here, its been a real struggle!

@Angelofdeath - My Mum is that desperate to marry me off that a few months ago, we went out, had a few drinks got a bit tipsy then she started talking to a homeless man and arranged for me to meet him the next day!! She is a nightmare!....I didnt go to meet him either grin
Think Im going to cosmic order myself a man - bet he gets lost in the post grin

onemorerose Tue 26-Jan-21 11:47:29

@pineappleonpizzaornot lol at your mum, I would kill her but she sounds hilarious!

It’s only normal to feel the way you are when your ex seems to be happily moving on. Remind yourself that you don’t want him anyway. With my ex I’d feel the same but I do know that I want him to be happy so I’d try to concentrate on that. Your ex might be a shitbag though in which case I hope everything bad happens to him and those photos are just fake and pretend, as a lot of the ones on social media are!!

onemorerose Tue 26-Jan-21 11:49:37

And you are still picking up the pieces, after all you had so many more things to sort out than him, but the important thing is that you are getting there. New house new start, you’ve got this 😃

pineappleonpizzaornot Tue 26-Jan-21 11:56:56

Haha @onemorerose - Thank you! He was a shit, decided the relationship was over, but didnt tell me for 4 months, he was distant, rude, not involved with anything to do with me, it was all about him, I got more paranoid, and depressed, knowing something wasnt right, it got the point that I ended things as I felt I was backed into a corner, hes a weak man. He then wanted me to leave, that day, never come back, and no thought as to how I would get to work, having nowhere to go....he just wanted a single life again! I hate him for that, the stress he caused me, luckily my work have been fantastic, but he wouldn't have given 2 fucks if they fired me, he was just done, and that was that! I moved back to my hometown, then he breadcrumbed me and carried on sleeping with me for 7 months! Knowing I still loved him and wanted it to work. The end came when I asked him what the hell was going on between us....his words were "dont look deeper into it, you were a good fuck!", So I hope his new relationship turns out to be bloody awful! The only solace I have is he will be no different with the new one when things get "boring" and normal life resumes! He was also in a hit load of debt when I met him, and I helped him for 4 years get it to zero....thats when we split!
Anyway....I have just cosmically ordered a man grin
I feel so much better for ranting....this site really is a life saver sometimes....thanks ladies flowers

pineappleonpizzaornot Tue 26-Jan-21 11:57:46

after re reading my last post I have no f*****g idea why I want another man grin

Isitreally777 Tue 26-Jan-21 12:51:17

@pineappleonpizzaornot I get that, my ex checked out of our marriage months before he told me(he told other people before me too it seems). He would try and show me up when out shopping and cause a scene, dump the trolley and walk off, he tried to make me look stupid in front of friends, constantly belittled me. In fact he was quite emotionally abusive, used to call me frigid and crap in bed, he also constantly threatened divorce in every argument. The fact that we are friends now is kind of weird but when he tries anything I walk away. My ex called me at work last year to tell me he had a new girlfriend, not sure why he thought calling me at work was the right time. Maybe I should call him now and tell him about my plans for a date with Computer Geek on Sunday see how he likes it but then that would be childish right?!.grin

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