OLD help please. Guy told me he is bi, how to politely say I don't wish to continue?

[LoveintheTimeofCoronaa]

Hi all,

Could do with some help please!

I've been chatting to a bloke online, seems nice. He has just informed me he is bisexual 'in case it puts me off'.

Not sure I can fully explain why, even to myself as I have zero issues with anybody's sexuality but I would prefer not to continue this. We haven't met but I do want to be decent and give him a response.

I'm not looking to be called a homophobe as I assure you I am not. Just want to be tactful.

How would you express this politely??

Thanks!

It's ok to be put off by this you owe him nothing no one is saying he is going to be mad for cock or whatever the ridiculous comments were if it turns you off it turns you off

I've disregarded moses pickers ball scratches and mummy's boys I'm not phobic about any of them we are just not compatible

For the people saying it’s okay to not want to date someone anymore purely because they’re bisexual, but they aren’t biphobic, what are the reasons for your decision? If it’s fear he’s more likely to cheat on you, a lesser attraction to him knowing he’s been with men, a fear you won’t be able to satisfy him etc then sorry to tell you, but you’re biphobic. As a lesbian I wouldn’t date a bisexual woman again because of my own insecurities, which is the fear she would eventually opt for the “easier” choice of being with a man (happened to me three times now), I know even though that’s based on experiences I’ve had it’s biphobic, I can’t and won’t try to defend it.

Stop defending your prejudice, yes you can’t help how you feel but at least own that your feelings are due to prejudice rather than innocent “sexual preferences”.

Elsiebear90 you're starting from the false position that people need to justify their sexual preferences. As long as their preferences are legal, nobody has to do that. Sexual attraction to consenting adults - or abscence of that attraction, or the whithering of that attraction upon getting to know someone better - does not have to be rationalised or defended.

@anothernotherone when someone starts a post saying “I’m not biphobic but” and then says something biphobic people have the right to call them out on that. If OP came on here saying “I’m not racist, but I found out the guy I’m dating is mixed race and now I don’t want to date him any more, but I’m nit racist” I’m pretty sure people would be wouldn’t be defending that by saying “it’s a sexual preference”.

When it comes to attraction I don't think you can be labelled homophobic or racist. It's what YOU are attracted to.

I couldn't go out with a bi man, or a transgender person because I don't find it attractive and I'm not going to lie and say I am to be PC.

Burn me at the stake MN, I don't care.

It seems everyone must be “pansexual” now or you are homophobic/transphobic

I can’t roll my eyes back any further..

I can fancy who I like, I can reject someone if I don’t like that they have had sex with men.
It doesn’t make me phobic.
I’m happy that they can choose to be bisexual and hopefully not be discriminated because of it.
Me not having sex with them isn’t discrimination.

This sounds very like the TRAs bullying gay women 🤔

You would never be able to fulfill all his needs.

What bullshit

*People wouldn’t be

@OkPedro “I’m happy that they can choose to be bisexual”

No one chooses to be bisexual. There’s a lot of ignorance in this thread.

Hi OP. I'm a lesbian myself and have dated bisexual (women) in the past and safe to say, I'm happy that I'm with another lesbian now and were we going to split up, then I wouldn't date a bisexual again. I completely understand how you feel. Just be honest but of course in a polite way. You're not homophobic, you're just not attracted to a man who also likes men. Good luck

Nothing wrong with thanking him for his honesty and saying that yes, it does put you off. No need for any apology or explanation, let alone justification. A person's default setting for a SR isn't 'accept everyone and anyone or give a good reason why not' is it?

Elsiebear90 I'm not attracted to blonds or women or short people. Never dated or slept with anyone in of those categories. Am I various things-ist/ phobic?

Choose it’s not illegal.. as being gay/bi used to be
You seem to be bulling for an argument 🙄

Racism and sexual preferences are two different things imho

You can choose who you sleep with if your put off by something that they do or have done then you dont need to continue

I don't think OP is narrow minded at all. I don't want anyone on OLD who is into latex/fetish. I'd politely say no thanks and leave it at that.
We are all perfectly entitled to our preferences and don't need to explain ourselves AT ALL.
He should have put that on his profile right from the beginning so others know what's what.

Just say “I don’t think that would work for me. Good luck”.

Just for the record I always put on my profile that I'm asexual so men can bypass me if they wish without starting a conversation and then having to back away when they find out.

Tacolover that would be my worry, why would I want to go into a relationship worrying about that. Too much at stake. Down the line if you have invested everything in a relationship and he decides he actually does need men in his life after all it shouldn’t come as a surprise . If you were then upset having wasted all those years people would then call you homophobic and you should support him.

@anothernotherone

If you were not attracted to blondes because you thought they were stupid, that would be prejudice. See the difference?

A heterosexual woman being attracted to only heterosexual men is not homophobic.

It'd turn me right off. My sexual preferences trump anyone else's I'm afraid.

You could add “thanks for letting me know” somewhere in there

aMaiden has it.

I knew a lot of people would get hysterical about this post. I like the thought of everyone being able to have sex with whoever they want.

I can’t imagine I would ever be attracted to or want to have sex with a bisexual man. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.