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Giving up Dating

(290 Posts)
joanietaylor Tue 13-Aug-19 17:46:53

Hello,

Although only 37 i have completely given up ever meeting anyone for a long term relationship as i never seem to meet anyone i click with or fancy sexually. Just think i am not meant to meet anyone.

Absolutely fed up beyond belief with internet dating and wish it had never been invented. I used to have luck with it in my 20's but these days very few people seem genuine and actually want to meet up in real life. They either have awful personalities, high maintenance or there is no chemistry.

Luckily i enjoy my own company and happy in my own skin but i do miss regular sex.

Anyone else relate?

justkeepnamechanging Tue 13-Aug-19 17:57:51

Yes completely. I'm 34 and was doing OLD very often for the last 2 years of being single. However after multiple bad experiences I really have given up with it for the forseeable future. Deleted the dating apps and have no desire to go back on them. Going to focus on myself. I'd rather be happy alone than waste more time looking for someone. May use them in the future, but I feel now that nobody wants to settle any more. Too much of a 'grass is greener' mentality, and guys literally have multiple women at their fingertips so you can see why.

Hugs xx

toffeeapple123 Tue 13-Aug-19 18:10:26

The dating apps are AWFUL

LittleWing80 Tue 13-Aug-19 18:13:05

These apps killed the dating

nearlynermal Tue 13-Aug-19 18:31:36

Yes. Just turned 49, and engagement broken off by DP earlier this year. I'd really thought I'd found The One.

Luckily, despite HRT, my libido is a shadow of its former self, so not missing sex, touch wood. Haven't been OLD in 5 years and just can't face it.

Simultaneously scared by, but almost relieved at, the thought of just living my life with dignity and investing in my friendships.

toffeeapple123 Tue 13-Aug-19 18:32:05

I’m only few years younger than you and am in exactly the same boat

joanietaylor Tue 13-Aug-19 19:11:22

Its sad how things have gone in the dating world. I sometimes wish the internet had never been invented!

SonataDentata Tue 13-Aug-19 19:16:10

I’m not yet 30 but in the same boat. I’m sick of just being treated like a piece of meat. My personal record was a guy who strung me along and lied to me for six whole months (though to be fair, I didn’t meet him online but we did reconnect online) and then admitted that he never even liked me as a person and had just used me for sex all along. I’ve given up all dating as it’s just not worth the repeated upset.

joanietaylor Tue 13-Aug-19 19:21:25

@Sonata No it isn't worth the repeated upset. I think its better to be single these days. Less stressful even though it can get lonely at times. Least you know where you are when you are single.

SonataDentata Tue 13-Aug-19 19:27:16

Yes. I’m in tears on a daily basis through loneliness (despite having lots of lovely friends and a very full life) but it’s still better than being messed around by fuckboys.

MrMagooooo Tue 13-Aug-19 19:36:06

I dabbled years ago very briefly on internet dating. I much prefer getting shot down in person at a bar or club (not that I club these days)

I was 30 and I'd like to think reasonably attractive and the whole short lived experience was frustrating and demoralising.

It's hideous. Go out and meet people wherever you can.

joanietaylor Tue 13-Aug-19 19:36:35

I can relate to the loneliness. Went to my GP and she said i was depressed and all she did was right me a prescription for anti depressants but told her not to bother as a pill wasn't going to solve my problems. Currently having counselling but find that a waste of time too.

joanietaylor Tue 13-Aug-19 19:36:59

write even

SonataDentata Tue 13-Aug-19 19:41:01

I’m having therapy and it’s helping a bit but doesn’t solve the key issue. Neither do antidepressants. I’m not depressed; I’m lonely - which is a totally normally reaction to coming home to an empty house every day for years and never being held by another human being.

SonataDentata Tue 13-Aug-19 19:41:18

*totally normal

Alexisa66 Tue 13-Aug-19 19:42:10

Oh well. Equality and all. Swiping right has its drawbacks fer sher. But it IS an excellent way to find shallow, meaningless love with people you literally know nothing about. I think you are doing the right thing.

Datingsadness Tue 13-Aug-19 19:43:07

I feel the same sad

Alexisa66 Tue 13-Aug-19 19:44:46

People are increasingly isolated, polarized and inward looking. I'm thinking social media has a lot to do with it. This is the bright new future we are all told is going to be great. Enjoy.

Eddmr Tue 13-Aug-19 19:46:13

I've been internet dating for 4 years and have just given up. 50-year-old men wanting 30-year-old women (I'm 45). They want supermodels and aren't willing to commit. My self-esteem is through the floor, I can't do it anymore. I have had a date try and strangle me, one called me fat, lots of ghosting. I'm out.

Alexisa66 Tue 13-Aug-19 19:47:52

To be fair EVERYBODY is stand-offish BIG time these days. Until people decide to come out of their comfort zone, put their over-powering anxiety aside and look, even smile at another human being, it ain't getting better. I have tried this on London streets and actually been snarled at, almost spat at. Nice.

joanietaylor Tue 13-Aug-19 19:48:23

@Sonata It is a normal reaction indeed something a lot of people just don't get unless they are lonely themselves.

Alexisa66 Tue 13-Aug-19 19:49:31

People have lost the ability to suss out potential partners these days. We're shit at it, even though we are literally living in a sea of good people. Sucks.

Watchingthyme Tue 13-Aug-19 19:55:35

Yeah it’s fucking depressing. Who do these people think they are. 45 year old man child who thinks it’s ok to only go for early 30s! Shocking really

joanietaylor Tue 13-Aug-19 19:56:09

It was much better in the noughties dating. Just went out and met face to face. I hope we return to those days because i can't see how internet 'dating' can be the future.

SonataDentata Tue 13-Aug-19 19:56:24

I do smile at people in the office (it’s a very big office) and find that 99% of people smile back and it lifts my mood. But in public, I agree.

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