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Break Out The Red Flag Bunting, It's Dating Thread 131

(1000 Posts)
VetOnCall Thu 15-Mar-18 19:21:22

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread

FalconHeavy Thu 15-Mar-18 19:28:28

Great title gringrin

Smeaton Thu 15-Mar-18 19:35:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VetOnCall Thu 15-Mar-18 20:06:06

Oh god Smeaton, how could she forget something like that, or had she not realised you have a young child?! Fair enough to feel like that, but why would you then go on a date with someone who has a young resident child!

Falcon to answer your question from the end of the last thread, I think I am feeling a bit 'not good enough' for Mr DM yeah. Not because of anything he has said in any way, just in my own head. I'm usually pretty self confident so it feels a bit odd.

Bloody I think it's really important that you're upfront about your actual age. Five years is a big difference and I would be massively pissed off if I turned up to a date with someone who had said they were, say, 39 but they were actually 44. I have the right to decide on which criteria I choose to date someone and don't want to be tricked into investing my time and energy into a person who is being dishonest about the most basic of those criteria. It's a real dealbreaker for me, although obviously I appreciate that everyone is different.

Smeaton Thu 15-Mar-18 20:24:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VetOnCall Thu 15-Mar-18 20:26:59

God, awkward doesn't come close then! blush

Tinderella2018 Thu 15-Mar-18 20:37:59

Bloody - I disagree with the consensus on here. I think a lot of men 'fib' about their age..... I think it depends what stage you are in life and what you and they want from a relationship - if indeed you want one at all; plus wanting kids, etc. Also I have read that some men do take a couple of years off so that they don't miss out on say those who set their cut offs at 40+ or 50+ or whatever. How many of your irons are you going to see more than once, so is it really the end of the world if you have taken a few years off? I say what's sauce for the goose...... although that said, these young whippersnappers do seem to like us more experienced older women! Far far worse, in my view, is lieing about your relationship status.

saveyourkissesforme Thu 15-Mar-18 20:46:40

Place marking. Still lurking but out of the game since my match sub expired.

Will give OLD another go soon.

BeenThereDating Thu 15-Mar-18 20:49:05

Bloody I disagree with lying about age. I'd dump I'm afraid.

esk1mo Thu 15-Mar-18 20:54:07

just placemarking

Lovemusic33 Thu 15-Mar-18 21:27:11

Marking my place

margot1809 Thu 15-Mar-18 21:35:09

Nervously dipping toe in the water...

Can I join in? I’ve been using OLD for a few months now, had one relationship which seemed good till he ghosted me two months in so onward and upward.

So, date with one guy this Saturday, just a coffee and a walk, and got asked out at my local last night by another guy who seems nice, so waiting to sort a time and place there. Can’t handle too many more irons in the fire at any one time so we’ll see how these two go!

CoverMeLads Thu 15-Mar-18 21:36:21

Me too waves

Really not feeling it at the mo. Sporadic messages with Mr Slight and (dunno if I mentioned) Mr Half My Age (OK he’s 27, I had an awfukit moment and agreed to chat).

Bloody I have thought long and hard about lying about my age (49, can easily pass for early 40s) but I do want a long term relationship so the lie would have to come out. And to me it sort of says I’m not proud of who I am, that I need to fudge it to get looked at and I think that’s really unsexy. I find blokes that are clearly lying (I understand skin and how it ages) or do the “I’m really stated age plus/minus X and I can’t change it” unappealing for that very same reason, As ever, just my opinion smile

CoverMeLads Thu 15-Mar-18 21:37:19

Welcome Margot and thanks Vet for the shiny new thread 😘

Jaxinthebox Thu 15-Mar-18 21:39:23

So this evening Ive had a few messages and have been chatting on and off with Mr Belfast a lovely guy but too far away. He seems nice and has been over to where I live a few times, but obviously no bloody good for dating. Mr REstaurant he is out, too needy already! Keeps messaging asking if I am busy or finished work. Nope, dont need a cling on.

smeaton . that is not nice at all, Im sorry that happened.

Glad we have a new thread, think I am going to need it A.LOT!

Alison100199 Thu 15-Mar-18 22:00:20

Thanks for the new thread. First date after the coffee meet and greet with Mr French tomorrow so I'll need the support of the MN team smile.

CoverMeLads Thu 15-Mar-18 22:02:41

Standing by, Alison salutes

myrtlehuckingfuge Thu 15-Mar-18 22:07:41

Just had my first OLD date. What about the folks that add inches to their height (rather than anywhere else). Just unnerved a guy with a profile height of 5'10". That's me in heels (5'7" without). He was shorter than me in bare feet. I don't mind a smaller guy in principle but the fibs!!

TomHardysBitontheside Thu 15-Mar-18 22:08:55

Marking my place too!

Smeaton Thu 15-Mar-18 22:17:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VetOnCall Thu 15-Mar-18 22:18:13

That's so common myrtle. I think most of the dates I've been on have been 'optimistic' about their height, if not downright dishonest. The one I saw yesterday was 5'11 on POF and 5'9 in real life. I'm 5'7 in bare feet, 5'8 in the shoes I was wearing, and he was barely taller than me. Another one I saw was allegedly 5'8 but was more like 5'6. I prefer a taller man but I'm not dead set on it as long as they're not actually shorter than me which unfortunately he was.

CoverMeLads Thu 15-Mar-18 22:19:07

Myrtle yep, feel exactly the same as expressed in my post above. And unlike age, it’s not one you CAN fudge really.
Did you call your date out on it? Even if height weren’t a deal breaker initially it’s kind of self sabotage as you turn up and......LIAR

Jaxinthebox Thu 15-Mar-18 22:20:07

alison also standing by, best of luck - although Im new to this, but happy to hand hold!
myrtle oh no! I hadnt even thought about height lying! Another thing to add to the list.

CoverMeLads Thu 15-Mar-18 22:31:38

Smeaton I dunno what filters the women you’re meeting have, but I can understand not wanting to put up a shot that has every wrinkle and pore in HD. I did try an eye shot like yours on both my normal phone setting and the Snapchat prettying one and they looked pretty much the same, freckles and all. I’m all for flattering angles and lighting; presenting the goods to their advantage, but I hear you about gross misrepresentation hmm

CoverMeLads Thu 15-Mar-18 22:33:25

Hey Jax don’t think I’ve said hi 👋🏻 and welcome yet, sorry.

I’m due a proper read back and catch up post, but my mojo needs to be present and correct and it’s kind of fucked off like the two blokes I’ve actually fancied this week wink

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