Break Out The Red Flag Bunting, It's Dating Thread 131

[VetOnCall]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

runs i honestly think some men get addicted to dating sites. being online 15 minutes after leaving yours is just rude. he should still be on a little high from all the snogging!

by the sounds of things, it does sound a bit “meh” and i think you deserve someone better.

mum hopefully he will be in touch. If he’s not great at contacting at least you have no cause for concern. I guess it can take 2 or 3 meet ups for someone to relax and be themselves. Let us know if you hear from him!

Reply from Mr Vegan. I told him with my divorce going on I wasn’t really ready for dating. He told me I needed an “impestuous affair”! Idiot.

Tom well obviously someone who's never met you knows exactly what you need
Mumfun your date sounds great, hope he gets back in touch. I would love to stay in the warm today but am on kids taxi duty (in the snow!) its for an exam so I can't complain really :)
Runs I also think he was a bit rude jumping straight onto pof? That and the silences would mean end of contact for me but good luck if you decide to give him another chance.
Ginny hows the revamped profile coming along?
Snow getting heavier here (oop north)

Tom "Impestuous"?! At least he's up front about wanting to infect you!!

Ignoring snow heavier here too (darn sarf). I'm currently meant to be ironing (not that kind), whilst maintaining a rod of iron (oh for god's sake: enough with the word iron, Ginny) over my DC doing their homework. Instead, the pile is mounting up whilst I check out this thread and my kids work on their memes and are generally larking about. am tops at parenting

Then their dad is coming round to take them out for dinner and have them overnight and I'm going to the cinema with a friend. I think she's also recently joined OLD - not sure which site(s) - so we might work on our profiles together - she can write mine and I, hers . Should be entertaining ...

Morning daters! So Im ditching MrC as he is just too far away.
Mr Belfast lovely guy, just chatting but also too far.
MrEast hmm he has been chatting and wanted to meet up, but Im just not feeling it.

Ive got a new iron MrNice I like him, lives near me and we chatted lots yesterday, even when I was out with my friend last night and she was late... He wants to meet up too. Today I am too shattered and tiny bit hungover to be dating.

Remember Mr Snog from last Friday? I saw him again last night, we chatted and had another snog. There is something about him I like, we took my friend home then we went back to his... no sex but lots of everything else. We will see. Maybe he will just be FWB eventually.

Oh I had a question.

Now that I have got a few irons do I hide my profile for a while now? If I do, can those who matched or wants to meet me still contact me on Pof?

OK MrNice has just messaged me to go out tomorrow for coffee/walk/drive. Okey dokey then. Its happening.

Loco - Hope you are ok?
Jax - Go girl!
My MrWow from yesterday lived up to his name, again . Had some awkward msgs afterwards. Him along the lines of 'lets have fun while it lasts and doesn't believe in love anymore' Me along the lines of 'I don't want a FWB situation - go fill ya boots'. Ended with him back-tracking a bit, saying he's not a player and he wants to take me out next w/e, with or without sex on the agenda. So, OK, gonna run with it.
MrGingerNinja is torn between watching the Rugby today and getting around here early. I'm not bothered but it means a 2hr difference. Hate rushing around getting ready so wish he'd let me know asap!!
Looking forward to everyone's updates in the morning. xx

Well the issue about whether I see Mr Eyes again has resolved itself after he accidentally sent me a message intended for another woman. He tried to cover his mistake but then came clean so I said it's best if we end things now. I'm not too upset. More upset that I need to start looking again.
Time to resurrect the profile and see who's out there

How patient are you trying to set up a date?

Thirdtime have just begun the much-talked about (on this thread) book 'why men love bitches'. Mr Wow's messages are a classic 'testing your boundaries' type conversation. According to this book, you'd've got full marks for your response

Jax I sometimes hide my profile if I have a few irons, it all gets a bit confusing otherwise and I end up ignoring messages from people that i would usually reply too (if I wasn’t already talking to others). Mines going to stay hidden for a few weeks now as it’s all a bit too much and I don’t want the hassle of texting people when I’m on holiday.

Queen I try and set up a date fairly quickly after starting to chat with someone. That's because I can't do endless texting and all the angst that goes with how often to text etc.
And I'd be a bit wary of anyone who said yes to a date but then you can't pin them down to an actual date.

Hi everyone
Been lurking on this thread for a couple of months now deciding whether not not to sign up to OLD
There is a really good offer on Elite until tomorrow and I'm wondering if any of you guys rate it / tried it / avoid it?
I'm an older bird, confident and independent but reading though some of your experiences I don't know if OLD would finish me off once and for all
I just don't know whether to take the plunge
The on line dating thing seems to me to be making it easier for some men to be horrible buggers - are there any decent ones out there?

Runs yeh I'm of that opinion just don't know if I'm being paranoid. Mr.....marine (loads of them
Not too identifying) suggested tonight but had already told me he was travelling bs k from a job today but expected to be back this afternoon. He's not back due to some delay - I sound v unreasonable typing this out I know I'm a bit paranoid I think. It's not a date from old - I know him in rl but not seen him recently.

It's frustrating because this is my child free weekend. Think I will give it one more shot. Thoughts?

queen he probably is delayed, life happens sometimes. Do you have any other reason to believe he is messing you about? If not, yes and you like him, communication is good, yes I would give it another shot.

runs better to show himself earlier rather than later. Bugger, but you deserve better :)

Oooh. I just went on tinder, and up popped a guy I was messaging before Christmas who lives an hour away. Tinder told me he is very very close. So I matched him, and he is working in my town tonight. Just chatting at the moment, and I have the kids but I think a friend could watch them for an hour to meet him for a coffee....

Should I ask? Maybe tinder is trying to tell me something. He was one of the first people I matched with and I did because one of his profile pictures is a image saying " Fuck.....Me, You, Off? He is actually stored in my contacts as that. Anyway, made me laugh, he looks cool but he is very laid back. I will wait a while see if he suggests anything or carries on chatting I think.

Pudding - none whatsoever reason to doubt. I sound a bit mental. I have over invested because he isn't a stranger!!!

Hi guys, new and marking my place on the thread.
Been on a few sites on and off for a year or so, have not actually been on a date yet.
I'm getting bored of POF and okcupid as its the same old faces, Tinder was good for a while but don't seem to be matching with many people at the moment, when I do they never message me anyway! I know I should message them but wouldn't they if they were really interested?

I don't think Ive really been ready for a new relationship but now think I'm really willing to give it a go and get out there, I'm not getting any younger!
The main problem I have is actually getting out on these dates which will put most blokes off as I'm completely on my own really so have the kids 24/7.

Do you think its worth going on a paid site? I had a free trial on match once and don't think I even got one message and I think most guys are on the free ones as well anyway?
What about a single parent dating site, wondering if I'm more likely to find someone more understanding of the situation I'm in?

So I am just updating- had a hiatus on here for a while. Mr BytheSea and I got together this afternoon, it was awesome....we didn't have long as he had to go to work later this eve but it was ever so exciting. The best bit about it all was he contacted me and wanted to meet up 🙃😉🙌

I have too many irons at the moment, to the point where I am having to hide away from WhatsApp 🙈 waaaaaa.

MrBelfast messaged asking if I wanted a proper chat and would phone me if I wanted, Ive said not tonight because A - Im meeting MrNice tomorrow and want to see how that goes first, B - as much as we click and chat away, to date him would be tricky as he lives so far away.

I am going on my first proper date tomorrow for the first time in 20 years. Im going to get this book that you all rave about.

Evening. Checking in to the (not so new) thread. This thing moves fast these days..

Ok, red/amber flag check..

Talking to someone who's 44. She's intelligent and educated, which is great. The problem is she's possibly too educated..

As in, she's done four different degrees and masters, has had, as far as I can tell, five or six different careers (teacher, lawyer, marketing, social care, massage therapist, beautician, occupational therapist) and possibly others. Also she's moved countries.

That seems a lot to me - is it an amber flag about someone if they can't seem to actually settle down and do one thing for more than a couple of years?

Bant not sure how you're getting amber. I've got flashing red. She'll alight on you briefly then when she's bored she'll be off. Plus when she's learning her next set of new skills when will she have the time to invest in your relationship?

Bant possibly an amber flag, depends on why she has changed jobs so many times.
I can list about half a dozen jobs that I've done, plus I've lived in different countries. But that was because I had to adapt to circumstances rather than through choice.

Jax good luck with the date tomorrow

Vixen good update

Nelumbo welcome. I paid half price for Match and I've had some decent dates from it. But none that lasted. Others haven't had any luck with it.

I've two new irons. Mr Beard, looked ok on his POF photo but he's just sent me a new one and he looks a bit scary. Mr Blurry, possibly meeting him next Friday but things can change very quickly.

Runs have you still got the one you went dancing with? Was he Mr Hat?