Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

The Dating Thread 118. Online and real life dating advice

(1000 Posts)
Bant Tue 16-May-17 18:55:34

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.

Lovemusic33 Tue 16-May-17 19:00:09

Thank you Bant

Bluegirl25 Tue 16-May-17 19:03:00


lettucesoup Tue 16-May-17 19:06:00

Cheers Bant.
I have a date sorted for tomorrow

Bant Tue 16-May-17 19:12:49

Details, lettuce. I'm vicariously dating at the moment.

rockabillyruby82 Tue 16-May-17 19:14:05

I had a sexy dream last night, it was pretty hot blushgrin

Mumfun Tue 16-May-17 19:20:18

Date 6 today Mr Social. Happy and easy again. Texting me on way home of an idea of something fun we should do.

More different from me politically than I expected as I get to know him. But I think I'm adult enough now to let him be himself and be comfortable him being different .

Took him to a favourite place today and he loved it too.

Finding it ok going with the flow and not thinking too much about it. Am only a few weeks in!

Farontothemaddingcrowd Tue 16-May-17 19:22:12

Just checking in. Still ticking along with wildcard so I've not much to say really. Feeling a bit brighter (my MH issues mean I go from v v v down - life is not worth living- to I'm doing fine, to everything is amazing- v quickly!) I'm on a fairly nice even keel. Wildcard is telling me to eat properly, so I made a nice prawn stir fry and sent him a picture of it, so he's happy now.
Who is the date with, lettuce ?

Pavonia Tue 16-May-17 19:27:42

I may have got my dating mojo back. I've reinstalled Bumble and messaged someone on OKC.

champagnecyclist Tue 16-May-17 19:33:15


I've been out of the dating game for a few years. The only guy who is expressing any interest at the moment just keeps sending messages asking when I'm going to get a babysitter so we can go to a hotel and have sex. Or for a drink - but he means the same thing. It's so repulsive and I'm blocking his number. I've not indicated that I'll have sex with him and it makes me feel so cheap to read the stuff he sends, it's upsetting. I don't think I'm ready to see anyone just yet if this is what you have to put up with. The only thing that gives me hope is seeing the husbands of some good friends who are just the most lovely guys - who would never, ever contact a woman in this way.

Bant Tue 16-May-17 19:40:03

Some of us aren't bad,* cyclist*

The internet brings out the worst in people

lettucesoup Tue 16-May-17 19:45:54

Date is the Violin Dad Bant.
Date number 2 meeting him after work tomorrow.
Phoning him later to sort the details.

OutToGetYou Tue 16-May-17 19:50:21

I don't get those, sorts of messages cyclist, just ignore it and move on.

Five POF messages today, four from new guys. One interesting (i.e. Says more than "I like your photos" and profile doesn't rant about how shit the site is). Will see how that goes. My contacts tend to fizzle out, I'm not sure if I get bored or they do, but if they leave more than a day or so between messages, esp if I know they were online, then I don't answer their next message and it stops there. Unless it's really interesting!

fortunacookie Tue 16-May-17 20:21:54

Checking in

RiseandGrind Tue 16-May-17 22:58:29

Thanks for starting a new thread Bant

champagne sorry to hear that. Is the stuff he's sending rude/agressive/nasty or just sexually explicit? I used to feel that way about sexually explicit stuff but it doesnt bother me in the slightest now. I think I'm imune to it it's so prevelant on OLD and actually I'm rather good at it myself now. grin

Good to hear that lots of you have your dating mojo back.

I'm seeing my northern bloke tomorrow and I'm so excited.

rubystiles Wed 17-May-17 07:33:01

I've been messaging a few people over the last few days. Here is a breakdown:
Guy no. 1 - have previously chatted with him before , then he deleted his profile. He reappeared and when I asked him about it he explained he does it from time to time. The conversation was a little stilted but I gave him the benefit of the doubt to find again yesterday evening he has deleted his profile. (Don't bother messaging me a 3rd time Mr!)

Guy no. 2 - only showed the back of his head on his profile pic so I asked for one that I could see his face in, he explained his daughters friend is OLD and had asked him not to show his face. Ok well I still need to see one. He asks if I use kik - I tell him I don't use those apps. Silence. No more messages!

Guy no 3. Again no photo so I say if he doesn't put one up I won't continue talking to him. He agrees to email me one as he wants to be 'private' and I've told him I don't use kik. He then messages again to say "actually best not, I'm married" ..... blocked!

And guy no. 4 - (by now I'm losing the will) again ..... no photo .... I say I will not chat unless there's a photo. His excuse is the network is slow and won't upload one. So I stop the conversation, he continues to message which I ignore. He then asks me "would you date a guy whose profile you liked but didn't find his physical attributions attractive?" I initially ignored but then in a moment of frustration replied with "no"

You have to laugh or you'd cry.

Lovemusic33 Wed 17-May-17 07:51:23

People with no profile photo usually means they are married or in a relationship. I asked one outright the other day and he told me he was in a relationship with someone who is boring, I told him what a lovely man he is for cheating instead of ending the relationship. I don't talk to anyone without a profile picture now, I don't care what their reasons are, I need to see a face.

I had a quiet night, didn't talk to any irons, no message from Mr Facebook, I think I may have scared him off by sounding too keen sad.

DoIDontIhavethetalk Wed 17-May-17 08:09:33

Morning all

Lettuce - good luck with Violin dad

Love music - there could be lots of reasons you didn't get to talk to Mr FB, don't get disheartened just yet.

Date no. (Probably around 20) with The Nurse last night. He makes me laugh. I'm becoming very attached. Trying to cool my heels, just in case it fizzles.

Farontothemaddingcrowd Wed 17-May-17 08:22:51

Good luck lettuce.
Sounds very nice with the nurse doIdontI. Just try to enjoy it!
I've just booked a yoga class for the weekend.

InfoSec21 Wed 17-May-17 08:55:11

Seeing as I ditched OLD I decided to ask the girl I like IRL if she'd date if we lived closer. We live hours apart, it could never ever work. I wanted to ask anyway though because I promised myself I'd ask in these situations and not just sit quiet forever.

She said she would, I was kinda surprised! She said we get on well and have stuff in common so why wouldn't she date me.

Shame about the distance but at the end of OLD it was nice to have a little boost because I was convinced she'd have said no.

DoIDontIhavethetalk Wed 17-May-17 09:22:17

Info - I lived 4 hours away from my ex husband when we met and 3 hours away from my ex-partner so it can work (though ultimately it didn't but it had nothing to do with distance either time)

InfoSec21 Wed 17-May-17 10:39:48

I've done it before to a different country and I've done it two hours away in the UK and it's too hard going. This girl lives 3.5 hours away and it's too much for either of us. I ain't doing that far all the time. I just wanted to ask her because it was troubling me a bit wanting to know if she would.

lettucesoup Wed 17-May-17 10:43:52

Well Violin has suggested not meeting as it is going to rain! A walk along the Thames had been mentioned after some food. I am speechless.

Pavonia Wed 17-May-17 10:59:31

Lettuce agree that seems daft. Surely any normal person would meet up anyway and say we might have to skip the walk if the weather is bad. Is this a first date?

lettucesoup Wed 17-May-17 11:08:56

2nd date. He is now happy to meet after I messaged that I love a walk in the rain!

This thread is not accepting new messages.