Hi. My bf who is father of my dd keeps touching my tits in public. Today we went shopping and he had his arm around me and was just cupping one of my boobs. I don't know if I'm overreacting but I just get a bit embarrassed from anyone walking past and seeing it. If i try to move his hand away he complains and gets all grumpy and just says he is showing me afection. It happens quite a bit. Either my boobs or bum. I've told him before i don't really like It in public and he stops for a bit but always goes back to doing it. He also complains that is it because I'm ashamed of him. And I'm not. But maybe I am just being silly. Sorry for the long post. Do you think I should mention it to him? What should I do?
You're not being silly. You're perfectly allowed to have likes and dislikes and your boyfriend should respect them without sulking it being grumpy. It's your body after all. You're not there are a passive plaything for him.
I'd tell him one more time and tell him that if he can't respect your boundaries then that will quickly start to change how you feel about the whole relationship.
Showing affection is holding your hand, helping sort the shopping, etc. Feeling you up in public is a fucked-up means of displaying possession. I don't blame you for feeling mortified. Tell him stop it immediately when he does it. Don't tolerate it. Crude, knuckle-dragging behaviour.
Wow omg ok. Thank you everyone. I really do need to talk to him then. I do really like him though and he is the father of my dd and I don't want to end it with him. It is just that one thing which I wish he didnt do! I don't mind him doin it at home but just don't know why he has to grab my boobs in public. He is quite a macho type guy so maybe is to do with that.
An arm around you, or a quick kiss or a hand hold... fine in public. Full on griping is not. Nobody else wants to see that and more to the point, you obviously are very uncomfortable with it. Is he trying to mark you as his territory or something? Like he's afraid someone might think you're available and he wants to show you're with someone?
You have tried talking to him before about this behaviour and it still continues after a lull. What is further talking going to achieve?.
What do you get out of this relationship?. Why is your bar so very low here?
He may well be the father of your DD but that in itself is not a good reason to stay with him either. As your child gets older she will notice all this from her dad; what sort of an example will he show her?. Is this really what you want to teach your child about relationships, that its ok for her dad to grope you as her mother in public. A previous respondent is right; it is a way of displaying possession.
This is unwanted sexual touching, sexual contact without your consent - otherwise known as sexual abuse. It's a complete lack of respect and a massive red flag. Does he disregard your wishes about other things too?
It's not appropriate in public. It's also not appropriate in private unless you are happy with it. It's your body, not his. Honestly, he sounds like an emotionally retarded jerk. BTW, obviously macho guys usually have self-esteem issues you could write a psych thesis on.
"Other forms of subtle sexual abuse include fondling us in public places or in front of our family and friends when we feel uncomfortable or embarrassed about this, or any other form of repeated touching which we have told him makes us feel uncomfortable or we don't like." From www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/subtle_sexual_abuse.html
He is quite a macho type guy so maybe is to do with that
It's possessiveness, not macho. You've said you don't like it, he doesn't listen. My XH used to do that, a lot. I told him he might as well piss up my leg if he wanted to mark his territory that badly.