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Team booked a meal out and I wasn’t invited!

(155 Posts)
lovedarkchocolate Fri 07-Jun-19 14:19:31

So I work part time in an office where there are about 15 employees in total.
They all booked a meal out this evening ( paid by the company) and didn’t bother asking me whether I’d like to join them. There was no email going around to inform us all about the event.
A couple of the guys came in today well excited about the meal and said it out loud while one of my other colleagues was trying to make him aware that I’m not invited and to keep quiet.
I’ve been working there part time for two years and I really feel left out. I’m not bothered about the meal really..,it’s the principle. My own manager didn’t say anything to me. So upset!

bananasonfire Fri 07-Jun-19 14:20:49

Is the manager going too?

MummyofTw0 Fri 07-Jun-19 14:22:15

I would bring it up with the manager

Or ask your colleagues why you weren't invited

I would embarrass them

lovedarkchocolate Fri 07-Jun-19 14:26:14

The manager is going yes. He planned the whole thing. I did say today when I walked out the door: have a great time tonight everyone

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Fri 07-Jun-19 14:29:02

I think you need to be upfront with your manager - either send an email, or tell him in person that you are hurt that you were left out of the meal, when everyone else was included, and that it is not acceptable to exclude anyone like that.

myrtleWilson Fri 07-Jun-19 14:29:05

thats awful OP, am sorry. I would raise it with your manager - if it was purely social it would still be hurtful but as it is being paid for by the company I think its excluding. As a director if one of my managers behaved in this way I'd be speaking to them quite directly about their behaviour and if they were modelling our values.

Iamblossom Fri 07-Jun-19 14:30:30

I think it is really out of order, and basically bullying. You have every right to be upset I would be too. Deffo raise it with your manager,

IvanaPee Fri 07-Jun-19 14:31:57

Oh god that’s horrible!

Was it arranged on one of your days off maybe?

IvanaPee Fri 07-Jun-19 14:32:11

I mean that maybe they just forgot to say it to you?

lovedarkchocolate Fri 07-Jun-19 14:32:55

I will raise it with him on Monday but I’m not sure what I’d achieve with it.
It’s the whole principe and it feels like they didn’t want to pay for one extra person. I’m not friends with them on fb Instagram etc. I think maybe that’s why they excluded me...

Honeybee85 Fri 07-Jun-19 14:33:20

I would be upset too!

Have you experienced any bullying behaviour before in this workplace?

I would def talk with the manager and if you know someone at HR that you trust, mention it too.
Its very odd and unprofessional at least and workplace bullying at worst.

lovedarkchocolate Fri 07-Jun-19 14:33:37

It’s not my day off, I was in today

lovedarkchocolate Fri 07-Jun-19 14:34:45

We don’t have a hr department, it’s a small branch. It’s my manager that I’d have to speak to

Drum2018 Fri 07-Jun-19 14:35:44

Shower of bastards. How childish for one colleague to try and keep the others quiet about it while you were there. Exclusion = bullying imo. I'd casually ask the boss on Monday if there was any particular reason you were excluded from the social outing paid for by the company (use those words so boss knows that you know the company paid). It's very hurtful.

JustHereWithPopcorn Fri 07-Jun-19 14:35:54

That's really awful behaviour from them OP and I would agree that's bullying. I would be looking for a new job if I was you, you don't need that kind of negativity in your life thanks

MrsAJ27 Fri 07-Jun-19 14:36:08

That is so fucking rude, you definitely need to say some thing.

IvanaPee Fri 07-Jun-19 14:36:59

Yes I know you were in today but I’m saying was it organised when you weren’t in maybe and then they forgot or x person assumed y person invited you etc.

poppet31 Fri 07-Jun-19 14:37:13

That's horrible. Why would they exclude you? Do you all get along normally? There are people in my dept I'm not particularly fond of but I would never leave anyone out deliberately. That's just cruel.

Honeybee85 Fri 07-Jun-19 14:37:28

Is there also a manager or director above your manager? Might be an idea to mention to them what happened. Esspecially since it’s obvious that they didnt just forget to invite you AND the company is providing them for their meal I see no reason why you have been excluded.

lovedarkchocolate Fri 07-Jun-19 14:38:36

@ivanapee well if that was the case...why trying to hide it from me? Why nobody said: are you looking forward to this evening? Or something like that

Morgan12 Fri 07-Jun-19 14:39:12

What a bunch of pricks

Jaxhog Fri 07-Jun-19 14:39:29

You imply that the company paid for the meal? If so, then it is totally out of order.

But I would ask your manager on monday. If they collectively have a problem with you. best to have it out in the open.

BlueMerchant Fri 07-Jun-19 14:40:03

Very rude. Maybe they hold it against you that you are part-time so wrongly believe you aren't entitled to this free meal?
I'd hope they had a shite time!

lovedarkchocolate Fri 07-Jun-19 14:40:10

There is a director yes don’t see them very often. They come to the office once in a while. Maybe once every 6 months

gandalf456 Fri 07-Jun-19 14:42:14

I would raise.it with them. Not least to shame them into not doing itagain

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