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TTC after miscarriage - January 2020

(802 Posts)
MilsCookie Thu 26-Dec-19 16:52:26

Hello all (and late Merry Christmas!)

Looking for TTC buddies in a similar situation! πŸ‘‹

In September I accidentally became pregnant. We had planned to begin TTC in Jan 2020 anyway, so we were really excited. Sadly, at my 12 week scan on 25th Nov, I found out I had had a missed miscarriage and the baby had stopped growing at about 9 weeks. The week that followed was one of the most traumatic in my life, having failed medical management and then an ERPC. All this happened whilst I was in another country.

Since then my recovery has been okay but all I can think about is wanting to be pregnant again and have been hoping and praying that my period returns soon so that we can officially start trying.

This morning I have had brown discharge and cramping, so it does feel like AF is on the way. So I guess I am going to count today as CD1 of my first official TTC cycle?

I wondered if anyone had been through anything similar and if so I am so sorry for your loss and what you had to go through. It really is a horrendous time. πŸ’

Anyone want to join me? πŸ’•

Mum1983 Thu 26-Dec-19 19:52:39

I could nearly have written that post. My dates were very similar. I was hoping to get pregnant before my first period after the Mmc but sadly all I got for Xmas was my period. Really really hoping to get pregnant next cycle. Had used opks this month with a positive surge but no joy. Here’s to jan 2020 I guess. 🀞

Peach7744 Thu 26-Dec-19 20:07:22

Hello! In a similar situation. I had a missed mc at 10 weeks in the 4th November and had medical management. Had my first period post mc on the 30th November. Was praying I would be pregnant this cycle but af due this weekend and have been getting negative tests this week and cramping today so looks like not this month. I think I naively thought I would get pregnant again straight away again so feel very disappointed πŸ’”

GoldenBauble Thu 26-Dec-19 20:25:34

Hi @milscookie glad to see you also on the conception boards!
Very similar story although as you know I opted straight for surgery. Only 3 weeks post surgery and no sign yet of my period arriving and still getting very very faint positives on pregnancy tests (although I swear sometimes they're negative).

Really hoping for a successful pregnancy next time but only tentatively joining these boards again for now as we have decided to wait a few months before ttc again. I have an appointment with the consultant mid feb now so going to use this time to get ourselves a bit healthier following Christmas - back to the gym, no more alcohol and back to healthy eating again. I am a bit anxious about waiting as worry it might not happen quickly again and could take us a long time. But I also know I'd more anxious if I fell pregnant now without having had my appointment with the consultant. I think I'm probably just anxious about being pregnant again and ending up in the same situation but we're trying to stay positive for now as I know so many people experience miscarriages and go on to have successful pregnancies.

Here's hoping we all have a more successful 2020 with lots of healthy pregnanciesthanks

MilsCookie Thu 26-Dec-19 21:41:24

Hey @Mum1983 - so sorry to hear of your loss. Looks like our cycles are almost the same so at least we’ll be in next month together! How long have you been TTC for? Fingers crossed for next month! πŸ’•

@Peach7744 so sorry to hear of your loss. I also just assume I will get pregnant again straight away but it’s normal to take a few months and we should try not to worry - although I know it’s easier said than done! Also - you’re not out until AF arrives so sending lots of luck - let us know how you get on! πŸ’«

Hello there @GoldenBauble good to hear from you! How are you getting on? You sound like you’re doing all the right things for you to feel positive about your TTC journey which is a great start and I’m sure will help you to feel more in control. I hope with time you feel in a better place to try again. Stay in touch and let us know how the next couple of months go! πŸ€—

Anny27 Thu 26-Dec-19 22:15:39

I'd like to join ladies!! :D sadly I see a few familiar faces but I am glad we can be supportivesmile

I had a MMC in November and had to have medical management which left retained products so then had to have surgical management. I was 11.5 weeks although baby was only 6 and a half weeks.

Took 6 weeks for period to return but its cycle day 1 today finally!

MilsCookie Thu 26-Dec-19 22:52:25

Hello @Anny27! I said on another thread that my brown spotting could be implantation bleed but now I know it’s definitely not!! AF has arrived properly tonight. The cramping is still a bit weird though - dull aches and then a few sharp sudden twinges on my left side πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ I suppose this period might be a bit different. I’m also just so surprised that it’s here already, only 26 days after my surgery? Especially because my usual cycles are around 33-34 days.

So pleased to have you ladies for support and hope I can support and reassure you too. Looking forward to a positive 2020 and hopefully healthy pregnancies for us all! 🌈 πŸ’« xxx

Mum1983 Fri 27-Dec-19 11:06:12

@MilsCookie we have a two year old already. We had wanted two under two ideally but didn’t get my period back until he was 13 months due to breastfeeding then took another 4 months to get pregnant again only to miscarry so really it’s hard to say. It took 3 months for DS. Wishing for some baby dust on us all 🀞I did find the opks helpful as I was ovulating a bit later than I thought. Not quite sure what happened this month so going to get a basal thermometer to confirm ovulation. But then again I’m the worlds most impatient woman πŸ˜‚

GemLou88 Fri 27-Dec-19 12:00:16

Hi all. Mine is similar. Missed miscarriage mid Oct at 9 weeks. 2 rounds of medical management didn’t work and had to have surgery. Still no AF since (surgery was 5 weeks ago). But we are ttc. Just want a BFP or AF to show so I know where I am either way

Anny27 Fri 27-Dec-19 19:31:09

@MilsCookie any sign of AF or is it still pretty light? Yeah that's fairly surprising to come after 26 days. Mine was after 45 days of start of bleeding and 42 days of surgery so longer than my normal cycle but I expected that.

@Mum1983 hopefully you can conceive quickly again 🀞 it took us 3/4 months to conceive. This was my first pregnancy so definitley have empty arms atm! Hoping for quick conception again.

I use the bbt and helps me to relax once I know I have ovulated haha!

@Gemlou88 sounds like you went through similar. I had medical management at first but I ended up losing a lot of blood and had to have emergency erpc anyway. So feels like it was a long drawn out process to finding out that baby had stopped growing and them having the tablets and then surgery. Hopefully you get your bfp! We decided not to try last month as i had an infection and also had low iron from the blood loss so I wanted to recover properly smile

AlviesMam Fri 27-Dec-19 19:32:38

I'm TTC after a miscarriage in January and a still birth in October :-( AF came Xmas eve so hoping a new year will bring some positive news! Xxx

Anny27 Fri 27-Dec-19 19:35:27

So sorry for your loss @AlviesMam ❀ hope that you are getting the support that you need πŸ’“

Was this your first baby?

AlviesMam Fri 27-Dec-19 19:41:12

@Anny27 MMC at my 12 week scan In jan, baby measured 8 weeks sad

Alvie was born at 22 weeks (had a severe heart defect not compatible with live)
(Received results to state his heart defect isn't genetic which is good news)
No children, Alvie would have been my first!

DTD every pissing day from last months period! I wasn't really expecting to be pregnant this cycle. I just can't get my head around the fact that when there's an egg there and we DTD why doesn't it happen!? Lol πŸ™ˆ, I'm looking way too into this but it consumes your life when you tracking!! & especially after a loss I'm desperate for my bundle of joy , like all of you! It's so hard πŸ™ xxxxx

AlviesMam Fri 27-Dec-19 19:41:48

Life **

Anny27 Fri 27-Dec-19 19:46:04

Thanks for sharing @AlviesMam smile Alvie is such a lovely name to have given your little one.

Thats a silver lining that his heart defect isnt genetic ❀ one less worry for the future.

Totally consumes your life doesn't it! It's so frustrating that you can do all you can and still might not get pregnant that cycle. I read it is a 30% chance each month!

AlviesMam Fri 27-Dec-19 19:50:12

@Anny27 it's crazy isn't it! Are you trying for your first?

Im trying to not overthink and to keep calm during this journey.

I have put on weight since having Alvie so I'm hoping when I'm back in the gym after new year it will help me focus and not get stressed! Xx

Anny27 Fri 27-Dec-19 19:53:55

@Alviesmam Yes this will be our first (I am 27 nearly 28 in Jan)

We got pregnant in September and had missed miscarriage at 11.5 weeks (baby 6 weeks) in november. So heres hoping for a rainbow baby soon 🀞🀞

It's so hard not to obsess isnt it! Especially as now we have been pregnant so it's hard not to symptom spot and compare

ChampooPapi Fri 27-Dec-19 19:55:01

Sign me up @MilsCookie and thank you for creating this thread, I know I certainly needed to find you guys today.

Hey @Anny27, how are you doing? I have seen you on a few other threads and I was wondering how you were. I'm on CD 1 today, January will be my third month after my miscarriage end of October. Found out at the 12 weeks scan so has been a really strange few months feeling like I should still be pregnant really.

Doing pretty well over all, very lucky to have 2 daughters already with my partner so I am forever grateful for keeping their company be of course. Will be going into 2020 with a positive feeling and I'm here for you ladies πŸ’œ

AlviesMam Fri 27-Dec-19 20:00:45

@Anny27 I'm 28! I got married last July and assumed I'd have my little family pretty soon after that! Never did I think I'd have losses!
A MMC is awful! Did your symptoms start to fade? I had a gut feeling going to my 12 week scan that something wasn't right as my symptoms had faded, and I was right. My symptoms with Alvie weren't strong but i felt more pregnant with Alvie and opted for an early scan to make sure! Really thought the second time around would be it! 😒

Are you tracking and doing anything different this time around when TTC? I'm taking my folic acid and going to introduce exercise. It's crazy thinking there is only a 30% chance every cycle! It's really baffles me. We're going to try and not DTD every day and try every other day this time around lol!

I'm also working with a charity who supports pregnant ladies after a loss, so that's helped me a lot too! Xxxx

ChampooPapi Fri 27-Dec-19 20:01:25

@AlviesMam you have been through so much, you are so brave. Really can not imagine the last year you've had, I really hope we can can support you over the next month and beyond.

We are all definitely going to get pregnant in 2020 dam it πŸ’ͺ I think most of us here will be glad to look ahead again to the coming year as well, 2019 will go down as a very bad year personally so bring on January the 1st πŸ™

AlviesMam Fri 27-Dec-19 20:06:06

@ChampooPapi thankyou! I think this journey makes you stronger! Glad we've got this thread to keep us all going!!
I've just finished my 1st proper cycle since having Alvie.

Apparently I ovulate the 7th (using FLO)

Sending you all strength and positivity let's make 2020 our year xxxxxxxx

ChampooPapi Fri 27-Dec-19 20:08:45

@AlviesMam sending it right back at you girl, just each day, each hour at at time. You've got this, and we've got you through January.

Let's smash it πŸ’ͺ

AlviesMam Fri 27-Dec-19 20:12:26

@ChampooPapi Yep lets do this! Xxx

Anny27 Fri 27-Dec-19 20:15:39

Nice to see you @ChampooPapi smile cd2 for me today! It's an odd time isnt it but glad to be with other ladies ttc after a loss ❀ and yes, 2019 has been a tricky year and I will be glad for 2020.

@AlviesMam yes MMC are cruel! I was a little apprehensive going to me scan as I had started to feel less sick but other than that still had all the other symptoms and boobs were still big and sore!
Definitely, I knew miscarriage was common but I didn't expect it to happen to me

I have started my folic acid again and will probably to the SMEP plan (DTD every other day and when you get a positive OPK, DTD ever day for 3 days - it worked last time for me so 🀞🀞)

ChampooPapi Fri 27-Dec-19 20:27:29

@Anny27 really rooting for you. God you went through it I remember with the medical management amd then being taken to hospital, then the surgery. Blood hell woman that was the pits, you must be glad to see the back of the last few months, and I am so pleased to see you back on here, not just because your trying again but mostly that you are just healthy and well to be be honest. You were really poorly, I remember you updating and some posters were just like 'oh hope your doing ok' then blathered on about some such else, and I was thinking 'that woman has gone through hell! Give her more then the dam flower emogi!' πŸ™„

I am constantly amazed by the strength pf the woman on here, thank goodness fpr you all, you keep me grounded that's for sure πŸ€—

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