TTC after miscarriage - January 2020

[MilsCookie]

Hello all (and late Merry Christmas!)

Looking for TTC buddies in a similar situation! 👋

In September I accidentally became pregnant. We had planned to begin TTC in Jan 2020 anyway, so we were really excited. Sadly, at my 12 week scan on 25th Nov, I found out I had had a missed miscarriage and the baby had stopped growing at about 9 weeks. The week that followed was one of the most traumatic in my life, having failed medical management and then an ERPC. All this happened whilst I was in another country.

Since then my recovery has been okay but all I can think about is wanting to be pregnant again and have been hoping and praying that my period returns soon so that we can officially start trying.

This morning I have had brown discharge and cramping, so it does feel like AF is on the way. So I guess I am going to count today as CD1 of my first official TTC cycle?

I wondered if anyone had been through anything similar and if so I am so sorry for your loss and what you had to go through. It really is a horrendous time. 💐

Anyone want to join me? 💕

Hello to all the lovely new ladies @DisneyMummySince2010 @ceebee21 @Imagineit @Honolulu1 @Brodijen 😘 I’m so sorry for each of your losses. Of course all miscarriages are traumatic experiences but some of you sound like you’ve had it as bad as it could get. I really hope you’ve got strong support networks 💕 It amazes me how so many of us have gone through miscarriage, it’s so much more common than we realise. Although it doesn’t make it any easier it helps to know we’re not alone and we’ve got each other for support. It also makes me wonder how many people I know in the real world have been through mc and just don’t talk about it.

@TerribleImagination that’s great that you got a negative. It’s a weird feeling wanting a BFN but at least it means you can now start TTC afresh!

@Brodijen good luck with your testing on nyd - sending lots of positive vibes your way!

@Anny27 how long roughly are your cycles? Before mc mine were around 33/34 days and used to ovulate around day 18/19.

@ceebee21 maybe your line was light because it’s still early and your HCG levels haven’t risen yet? You’re not our till AF arrives so sending lots of luck your way!! Let us know how you get on 😘💫

Just a quick question, if I am getting periods does that mean I am ovulating? I have just started my second period (cd2 today) since my miscarriage( my cycle was 28 days exactly as it was before my pregnancy). I feel so sad it's started, in my head I thought I would be pregnant again, now I feel scared that maybe my first pregnancy was a one off and won't happen again, part of me knows that is irrational but hard not to get those thoughts.
Also curious to see what supplements people are taking, I have been taking royal jelly and pre conceive tablets is there anything else?

I think you can have a period without ovulating- unfortunately!

Hi all. I'd like to join this thread. I had a MC back in November and came off my AF 10 days ago.. it was a natural MC so unsure of when exactly baby stopped growing but I would have been 9 weeks at the time.

Me and my partner agreed that we'd start TTC next year (this was unplanned this pregnancy, although wasn't being careful for 2 years...)

According to my flo app I'm due to be ovulating on the 1st Jan but not quite sure how accurate that will be.

Not sure if anyone else has experienced this but as my MC was natural, my first AF was normal (not heavy as I was expecting it to be) is this normal?

So sorry to hear if everyone else's losses and hope next year is our year 💗

Hey @Peach7744 yes I think you can have a period without ovulating unfortunately. It’s called an ‘anovulatory cycle’. I know it’s hard but it’s normal to take 6 months to a year to conceive. I think people who conceive straight away are just very lucky! I am only on cycle 1 of TTC as my first pregnancy (which sadly ended in mc) was an accident. So I’m really hoping to get pregnant straight away but know that I need to try and be realistic and understand that it could take up to a year! It’s easier said than done though cos I just want to be pregnant NOW! 🙈

In terms of prenatal vitamins I am taking a folic acid + vitamin D tablet as well as omega 3 fish oil and vitamin b6. (I read somewhere that vit b6 helps to regulate your hormones so I started taking it incase my period didn’t come back - but it came back 26 days post surgery!)

Welcome @mlax 😘 so sorry to hear of your mc. Hope you’re doing ok. I’m currently on CD4 (1st cycle post mc) and still on my period and the first 3 days were quite heavy, but I did have to have surgical management. I wouldn’t worry if your first period was like normal - everyone’s bodies are different I suppose!

Welcome to all the new ladies! Makes me feel so much less alone but also cant believe how many of us have been through this!!

Yep I take folic acid and am trying to eat some more iron rich foods and generally be a bit healthier @MilsCookie :D my cycles are usually 27- 31 days long. Sometimes get a slightly shorter or longer one but they are mostly quite regular. Who knows what will happen now though after miscarriage

Cycle day 4 today and AF is nearly over with 🙌

@mlax I am having my first AF since period and it is very normal. Will actually less cramps than normal which I thought was strange! But my doctor said it us normal to be lighter or heavier or normal :)

Since miscarriage**

Hi @MilsCookie I don't even know why I think I'm
Not ovulating, I think I am just feeling anxious. The first period I had post mc was completely normal (28days post medical management) and this one which came bang on 28days as previous has been completely normal too. I am currently cd3 so pretty similar to you. So it seems my cycle has regulated itself.
My pregnancy that ended in mc was planned but it was our first month of trying and so I guess we didn't really 'try' at all and I was almost expecting it stupidly to happen like that again.
Are you going to use ovulation sticks this month?

Hey ladies. I had a miscarriage at the start of November. I tried again in December and didn't fall pregnant. My LH test was low this cycle so not confident at all that we have been successful (ovulated Christmas day).

Am feeling hopeless and sad, it's hard though because I haven't been trying that long so feel guilty for feeling so low.

Reading this board has been so helpful today in managing my feelings. I wish someone had forewarned me how ttc would be such an emotional rollercoaster.

Wishing all of you ladies the absolute best of luck in 2020.

Hi Ladies

Like to join the thread please.

Had a MMC with my first pregnancy end of Oct when I though I was just under 10 weeks babies measured 7weeks. Not only did we find out that we’d been expecting twins also found out that I have uterus didelphys (2 uteruses)

Had ERPC and got first period nearly 5 weeks after surgery. And have gone straight back into my normally 28 day cycle as AF has arrived again today. In one way pleased cycle has gone straight back to normal but on the other hand disappointed that it means no BFP this month,

Think once things have got straight after Christmas/New Year chaos I’ll go and see the Drs to try and understand if having 2 uteruses will cause complications as have done the norm of googling everything and get so many mixed messages.

Really hoping 2020 is going to be the year we all get our BFP and our babies to hold.

AF has finished and I'm back on tracking with FLO. I always have a 28 day cycle this time was 27 so not too worried. Just ordered some ovulation tests to help me know for accuracy. My question is, FLO says I ovulate in 9 days... I normally DTD every day until a week before AF, should I change this? Would you start tonight? lol I keep thinking I won't burn my DH out and save his swimmers for near to ovulation (yes I'm probably crazy in thinking this but this TTC malarkey is making me crazy!!) we also DTD around 11pm ...again im being crazy but should I jazz up the time's a little and change time's ?! Any advice about TTC will be helpful

Glad to find this discussion!

MC on 24/12 and my scan is tomorrow to see if i need surgery or medication to clear the remaining...
Also on antibiotics for infection

I hope to be trying in Jan too. I am 30 and DO is 28 it will be our first.

Good luck

@AlviesMam if you want to DTD then have fun and do it! I’m trying really hard this cycle to have fun, be positive and enjoy the journey. Miscarriage can take away the joy from ttc but it so important to find it otherwise it will just become a chore!

Hi ladies

Hope I can join in your conversation :)

I had a missed miscarriage this month at 10 weeks, it's been a rough few weeks but feeling more positive as the new year looms, or at least trying to be! So many stories on here, heartbreaking what so many of us have gone through :(

Feeling a bit anxious about sex after the miscarriage and that it might feel a bit weird! Ek!

AF arrived today, so a chemical pregnancy for me, following my MMC back in September.

Fingers crossed for better luck in 2020.

Xx

I’m so sorry @ceebee21 ❤️

Welcome to all the new ladies - @raspberryjamlove, @Michette, @Blindingpeaky and @ELM7 - great to see you here. 💕

@ceebee21 I’m so sorry AF arrived. So shitty to get your hopes up 😞. Hope you’re ok 😘

@Peach7744 I read that the main groups of people who have anovulatory cycles are teenage girls who’ve just started having periods and women going through the menopause. Apparently if you have regular cycles then you should be ovulating each month. But then I also read it’s common in 12 months to have 1 or 2 cycles where you don’t ovulate! 🙄🤷🏼‍♀️🙈 who knows! Google gives such conflicting information (which is why we shouldn’t do it but we can’t help ourselves 🙈😂) I am tempted to use the ovulation sticks but I also just want to ‘see how it goes’ for the first few months. I use the Flo app so I know roughly when my fertile time is so I’ll just make sure DP and I dtd a lot then! (Sure he won’t complain! 😁)
What about you?

@Blindingpeaky hope you’re not feeling too sad. There are so many of us here in the same boat and I am feeling positive that there will be lots of BFPs and healthy babies from this group in 2020! 🌈💫

@AlviesMam I’m new to all this TTC business so don’t have any advice I’m afraid, but looking forward to the responses you get!

@Michette so sorry for your loss. How many weeks were you? Hope all goes well at the scan tomorrow. Let us know how you get on 😘

@raspberryjamlove hope you’re doing ok lovely. It’s a total shock to the system isn’t it. I just keep thinking ‘I should be 16 weeks pregnant now’ 😔 in terms of having sex again - I didn’t do it for exactly 2 weeks after my surgery (mainly because I was scared of getting an infection) but I also felt a bit weird about it all. I just told my DP how I felt and we just said not to put any pressure on it and that we’d stop if it hurt or anything. It wasn’t too bad (but not particularly enjoyable!) it felt like I was a virgin again and just wanted to get ‘the first go’ out of the way! 🙈 we’re back to our normal sex lives now thankfully.

💫 baby dust to all! 💫

Also I have a question about the SMEP... Why does it recommend having sex every other day and not just every day? Is there some scientific proof that every other day makes it more likely to get pregnant than every day? Is it because the man’s sperm is better quality if it’s been stored up? 🤔🙈 would appreciate anyone’s info about it haha! 😁

@MilsCookie I have read it is better every other day so that the sperm is better quality! Dont know how true that is but also I cba to DTD everyday do every other day is good for me 😂😂

I also keep thinking oh I would be nearly 20 weeks and finding out the gender :( have days where I am fine and then days where I get really sad!

@AlviesMam I think DTD everyother day is best for fertility but there is no harm doing it everyday if you want :)

@ELM7 wow that's really interesting about 2 wombs - were your babies in the one womb or in different wombs? I am sure there is a thread on mumsnet somewhere with other women who have the same as you :) fingers crossed it doesn't cause any difficulties xx

@ceebee21 sorry about your chemical :( xx

i too cba DTD every day ... but I did last month and want to change things up abit this month! I too have in my mind that the sperm is better quality doing it every other day 😂 last month DH was in full form in the beginning but by ovulation week he was tired out so definitely going to try every other day this time around! 😂
I should have been breaking up for maternity this week... hoping I'm pregnant before my due date (February )🙁

Taking my vitamins still and eating healthy and starting the gym again next week, see if losing some weight will help the process!

I also take omega 3 fish oil - helps with egg quality apparently?!
A cup or two of green tea can increase fertility on both sides
Grapefruit juice for CM

PS - I'm a coffee addict. Does anyone give this up while TTC? Also what are is your water intake during this process?

Really feel for you all. Some women have it so easy and here we are tracking and counting down the days until ovulation. 😢

Xxxx

Hi all

It so sad to see so many ladies going through this too, but it’s amazing how supportive everyone is of each other.

AF arrived this morning, and wow she is being a painful bitch. I never normally have painful cramps but I guess this may be normal as the first one since my MMC. I feel more relieved than I thought I would. I found out on 14th Oct my baby didn’t have a heart beat at an early scan, and due to medical management not working twice, the whole process for me from finding out no heart beat to finally having the surgery was 7 weeks. Now been almost 6 weeks since then to get my first AF. Which all in all is longer than I was actually pregnant for. I just want this year over with now and to wipe the slate clean and start again in the new year.

@Anny27 I know how you feel. I would be 21 weeks now and would have found out the sex before Christmas. I have up and down days. Although when I have down days they last a few days before I pick myself back up again.

@AlviesMam I’m not a coffee addict, but I do need caffeine. Before I first got pregnant I drank red bull, gave it up when I found out and haven’t touched any energy drinks since, my water intake isn’t great but I have to push myself to get better at it now.

@raspberryjamlove after the surgery I didn’t wait the full 2 weeks after to have sex again. But I felt ready because I wasn’t in pain, bleeding had stopped and emotionally I felt ready. But like @MilsCookie said it was a bit like being a virgin again. Just take it at your own pace.

Xx

@Anny27 @AlviesMam 😂 haha ok thanks! That’s good to know we don’t have to do it every day then. I hadn’t heard of grapefruit juice before but might give it a go! I always try to drink lots of water cos I am prone to UTIs 🙄. When I was pregnant I pretty much stopped drinking tea and coffee but bought some caffeinated teabags!

@GemLou88 I’m so sorry AF arrived... but it must be such a relief to know that your body is getting back to normal. My first one since my mmc is just coming to an end now (on CD5) and the first 2 days it was SO painful. More cramps and each one was more intense than my usual cycles. But I’m just happy she returned and my body seems ok!

January is almost here ladies - time to wipe the slate clean and start afresh! I’m feeling positive for us all! 💫🌈

🙄 I’m an idiot - I meant DEcaffeinated teabags!

Btw I just counted us all... there are 20 of us in this group who are TTC after recently having a miscarriage. I didn’t think there would be so many of us 😞 It’s so sad that we are all here but I’m so glad I’ve got you ladies 🤗 xxx

Yes I think the SMEP is every other day initially so you don't get too tired and swimmers have time to replenish/build up. But I guess that's more important when there may be questions about sperm quality...most men will be fine with everyday. SMEP says everyday for 3 days after a positive OPK, rest day then once more, and many other sources say everyday is best during fertile window. Me and OH managed the latter this time as both off work and we've been more loved up than usual after OH proposed on Xmas day!

We also mixed up timings and opted for DTD in the morning rather than evening as usual, as I read some research that swimmers are better? in the morning after rest and without the stress of the day. I have no idea if that is true, but apparently thats why sperm tests are done in the morning to capture best quality and OH had his 2 tests in the morning so it seemed to fit. Plus we were off work so had much more time to play with. I read also that staying in bed with pillow under bum for 20-30 mins after DTD can help swimmers get to their destination. So we tried that too this time and aside from feeling a little silly/ humoring OH it meant he had to make our morning cuppa and bring it to me so not all bad 😉

I used to be a coffee addict too @AlviesMam but I switched to tea a few months ago and only having 1 cup a day now and sleeping much better. Apparently 1 cup of coffee a day is fine. I read a good book Expecting Better by Emily Oster, which is like a meta analysis of research into the convential pregnancy 'wisdom', and talks through TTC and each stage of pregnancy. I like to know what the research says but don't have time to do a literature review myself so that book was the next best thing for me.

Thanks to those who mentioned the Flo app - I've been using another app for years and never thought to upgrade but have signed up to Flo now and enjoying the insights. Nice to have somewhere to record BBT too.

Baby dust to all....2020 will be our year!!! Now to distract myself for the next 10 days until i can test and try to avoid perpetual symptom spotting 😂