TTC after miscarriage - January 2020

[MilsCookie]

Hello all (and late Merry Christmas!)

Looking for TTC buddies in a similar situation! 👋

In September I accidentally became pregnant. We had planned to begin TTC in Jan 2020 anyway, so we were really excited. Sadly, at my 12 week scan on 25th Nov, I found out I had had a missed miscarriage and the baby had stopped growing at about 9 weeks. The week that followed was one of the most traumatic in my life, having failed medical management and then an ERPC. All this happened whilst I was in another country.

Since then my recovery has been okay but all I can think about is wanting to be pregnant again and have been hoping and praying that my period returns soon so that we can officially start trying.

This morning I have had brown discharge and cramping, so it does feel like AF is on the way. So I guess I am going to count today as CD1 of my first official TTC cycle?

I wondered if anyone had been through anything similar and if so I am so sorry for your loss and what you had to go through. It really is a horrendous time. 💐

Anyone want to join me? 💕

@AlviesMam hadnt heard of the grapefruit! Theres a lot of things I need to change in my diet haha. I am slim but I eat too much chocolate and crap 🙈🙈

@MilsCookie wow 20 of us! So glad we all have eachother :D AF finishing today so will be good to start the ovulation symptom spotting haha

@GemLou88 I feel the same - I found out about potential miscarriage on 25th October then had 3 weeks before the medical management, then another week before the surgery and then 6 weeks for period to come back!!! Feels like a lifetime of waiting

@AlviesMam also a coffee addict but pregnancy cured me. I was craving at first but switched to tea and now on decaf tea and coffee and it does the job...

I also take pregnancy vitamins and fish oils to help with everything.

Usually DTD everyday with OH but it when we were actively trying i had a start of BV just as i ovulated such bad luck
So i am considering taking it easy before ovulation to make sure i am good enough as i havent had good CM at all so far...

I heard that grapefruit juice can be interfering with certain medications so maybe worth checking before taking it ?

What vitamins and other tablets would you consider taking then if you are TTC? My highest ovulation day according to my flo app is the 1st jan... would you recommend DTD today/tonight, tomorrow and the 1st?

I think I got pregnant last time following a morning time sesh... 🙈 so yeah I think it’s probably a good idea to mix up your timings!

@Anny27 my period is coming to an end today too... bring on ovulation symptom spotting haha!

@mlax if I were you and only a couple of days away from ovulation I’d be definitely dtd today, tomorrow, 1st and the following couple of days too! Enjoy! 😉

@MilsCookie @GemLou88 thanks ladies, I was thinking similar that it's best to get it out the way. I felt the same after having my first - it was a bit weird but felt better when it was done! Who says romance is dead hey?!

Love this group! I'm at work and your all making me smile!
I am positive for us all!

Right I'm going to have to start doing some morning sessions. I'm off for three days after today. 🤣

I always do the pillow after DTD! And a morning coffee from OH sounds perfect if I'm going to switch to mornings while I lay there for 30mins 😂😂

My fertile window is in 3 days but I'm going to start now but do every other day.

I hear people stop coffee while trying to conceive, I will stop once I'm pregnant but didn't know it it affected conception? I have two Starbucks per day as I work right near one!!

I've planned all my healthy meals and booked some spinning classes so I'm all ready to go!

There's so many women in our position it's heartbreaking. My consultant said to me we see the women who make it look easy popping out so many children and we don't see the women who suffer because it doesn't get talked about! and she's totally right. I like to be open and honest and I speak about Alvie every day. We will have our babies soon enough girls ❤️ xxx

@mlax i take seven seas. I used to trying to conceive ones and then switched to pregnancy seven seas.
I also take super fish oil from holland and barret but that’s about it.

I've just read that conceive plus contains parabens 🤔 which are definitely not what you want internally surly when trying to conceive!

I was perusing it online thinking 'should I be using this' sort of thing

I was supposed to be looking for vitamins, still no idea ,may just stick with basic folic acid and the liquid iron I take but god knows really. Maybe is should be on some sort of multi vit?

*maybe I

All clear for me. MC complete

@AlviesMam haha me too! 🤣 we have to laugh otherwise we’d cry! No no I’m being too negative... POSITIVE thoughts ladies, positive thoughts! 🙈💫💫💫 Also, you’re so organised booking in your classes! I need to sign up for a gym first 😩🙈. Good luck with your dtd over the next few days! My fertile window (according to Flo) doesn’t start until 7th Jan so I assume we’ll just be ‘practising’ until then! 😁
You’re absolutely right it doesn’t get spoken about it enough. Loads of family came over yesterday who knew about what had happened but I hadn’t seen them since before it happened, and not one of them asked how I was/mentioned the mc. If I’d had a physical illness like I’d broken my arm or something I’m sure they’d all have been asking! I am determined to talk about it with as many people as possible to try to reduce the stigma/taboo!

@Michette that’s fantastic news!! You must be so relieved. Really happy for you! 😘

Is anybody using OPKs at the moment?

I would love to see some OPK progression lines please. I took my first one today and had a pink line! It wasn’t very dark yet but hopefully it will get darker over the next few days!

Does anyone know how you upload pics on to here through the website not the app?

@Michette so happy for you it’s complete. Going through this I guess that’s the best news you can get at the moment.

@MilsCookie I know how you feel about people not asking. My mum, dad and sis in law were great asking me how I’m doing. But others said they just didn’t know what to say and thought it was best not to mention anything in case it upset me. I think if I hadn’t had to go through a miscarriage I wouldn’t know what to say to someone who was. Although I’d like to think I would ask them how they are feeling. Even if it sounds like a silly question.

I haven’t tried the pillow trick. Will give that a go in my next fertile window.

Hello all!

Can I join you...

Sorry we've all had a bit of a rough time.

I had a missed miscarriage in November and had the MVA procedure on the 5th November. No sign of AF as of yet...

Here's to a thread full of 2020 babies!

@GemLou88 yes it’s exactly how we felt after they gave us the report and let us go that finally a good news after so all this sadness.

@MilsCookie thank you!

They did advise to wait at least a natural cycle before trying but we have decided to not wait.
My hcg is still at 20 so pregnancy tests and opk show positive but i hope in a few days to be back to normal and start tracking again properly.

And completely agree with you on people not asking how we are doing when it would actually be nice to talk about it. It’s like almost a shame or they are uncomfortable...

@Michette we're here for you, talk about it as much as you want! It definitely helps, god it's an awful time , we all understand lovely.

And yes to trying immediately of your ready, just get that negative test and go for it 💪

Wow this thread got busy quick! Hi everyone! As all previous posters have said it's a shame that we all find ourselves here but also reassuring knowing so many others are going through the same. Hoping to hear lots of success stories over the upcoming months!

I'm 4 weeks post surgery today and still getting the faintest and faint lines on a pregnancy test. Epu decided to do bloods today as they said my tests should be negative by now and my hcg came back at 9 which they said is 'borderline negative' and to test again in another week and they will do a scan if there is still a faint positive. Although it's good news that my hcg is really low now, it's so frustrating that this whole process continues to drag on! Who knows when my period will now decide to turn up 🤷🏼‍♀️I was also thinking today that by the time everything is hopefully back to 'normal' I will probably have been pregnant for fewer weeks than how many weeks this subsequent process has taken which I'm feeling quite bitter about.

Hello all!

I had a miscarriage on 18th November and just had first period there (arrived Xmas eve 🙄)

Sorry to hear of all your losses but hopeful for some positive news from here on in for us all!

I will be fertile from Thursday so planning to DTD every day from then til Tuesday!

Thanks for setting this up @MilsCookie and hello everyone and so sorry for everyone’s losses.
I had an ERPC on 28th November and got my first AF yesterday so this will be the first proper cycle of TTC.
How is everyone managing to stay positive? Any tips? I am currently being very irrational! And worried about conceiving. We are very lucky and have an almost 2 year old, both pregnancies conceived quickly but I just can’t stop myself from fretting. Any tips for positivity or trying to keep your mind off it would be very welcome!

@GoldenBauble totally get the frustration. It’s already a tough time to got though and the fact that it drags on the way it does for you must be making things even worse... it’s like you cannot fully move on. Fingers crossed for you the remaining hcg drops soon.
I am only one week post miscarriage but i already cant wait for a negative pregnancy test (never thought I’d say this!)
I can only imagine your position... but really hope it’s just your body taking its time. How far along were you ?

@Mammacooks
i found hanging out with people and my OH and keeping busy or trying new activities were helping. Not crazy stuff but going out for a meal with a few friends somewhere new or having a weekend away with OH... the planning of next year also helps.
Or sometimes just venting and letting all the negativity and worrying out and be told i am ridiculous and it will be ok also helped.

@ChampooPapi i am still abroad and on antibiotics so i have a few days to get the negative! Also don’t have opk with me here anyway !!

And i also did the pillow trick the month i was ttc - it worked so was it the pillow or luck. ?! We ll never know but it doesnt hurt

@Mammacooks I'm trying to stay positive by feeling a little more on control of the situation and doing what we can to help us be in the best position to hopefully have a successful pregnancy next time. We're using the next few months to get our healthy eating back on track, get back to doing some exercise (which hasn't really happened since I found out I was pregnant) and cutting right back on alcohol. I'm a little anxious about being pregnant again and finding ourselves on this situation but we keep reminding ourselves that the likelihood is we were just unlucky this time round and there's no reason we know of yet that we won't have a healthy pregnancy. I would also take the fact that you have a little boy already as a really positive sign that you can successfully carry a pregnancy to term

@Michette I was almost 10 weeks when we went for the scan and they said baby had stopped developing a day or two before going by my dates. I then had to wait a week for surgery because I had been on aspirin. So I would have been almost 11 weeks when I had the surgery, but baby stopped developing at 9+. I then bled for the best part of 3 weeks post-surgery which felt like forever sometimes and now it's just another waiting game. Although I don't regret the surgery and it was definitely the right option for me, it hasn't been the 'quick fix' I probably naively thought it would be (although I know none of the other options are either)

You're right, this thread does move fast haha 😂

I do the pillow trick after DTD, just lay there with hips elevated for about 20 mins and then roll onto front for a bit (just incase cervix is slightly different position) - dont know if it works but cant hurt haha

@Michette @GoldenBauble totally I think I knew about miscarriage and was waiting for it to happen and then for my period to return for longer than I was actually pregnant! It feels good to be onto my first cycle and put that somewhat behind me!

@DisneyMummySince2010 I am using OPKS but only on cycle day 6 atm so not really got progression so far!

@ChampooPapi oh that's weird about conceive plus! I use a bit if pressed when needed, hope that isnt the same.

And in terms of vitamins, I am using the seven seas trying to conceive tablets. They have folic acid, iron and a few other things but they are small, easy to swallow and cheap and seemed to help regulate my cycle last time so using them again!

Hi everyone, can I join?

I was 11 weeks pregnant when I found out there was no heartbeat, on Nov 19th. Baby had passed at 8 weeks 3 days. Had an ERPC and got my period four weeks later.

In the middle of my fertile period now according to my app but feeling unhopeful as although I had symptoms of ovulation (EWCM, cramps) a couple of days ago, no ovulation tests have come out positive. The darkest line I got was on Friday but that was day 7 ... I just feel like that is too early to have an LH aurge. I got pregnant on Day 11 last time which is today so might try to DTD again today. Have only managed DTD every other day so far so if I don't fall this month, will definitely try every day next time.

Hope everyone has a very happy New Year. 2020 is our year!! 🎉🎊 xx

Hello to the new ladies @latulipe @newmum2020 @StephyRose and @Mammacooks - so sorry to hear of your losses. Everyone here is a friendly bunch so it’s great to have you here 😘 hopefully we can all support each other throughout our TTC journey in 2020. I have a feeling it’s going to be a positive year with lots of rainbow bumps! 🌈💫

@DisneyMummySince2010 I’m not going to use OPKs this cycle but maybe after a few months if we don’t manage to conceive straight away. Not sure about how to upload photos on the website I’m afraid as I only use the app!

@GemLou88, @Michette it’s weird isn’t it. Like you I had my closest family always checking on me whilst I was waiting for the mc to happen and whilst I was in hospital for 3 days (medical then surgical management) but then since then nobody has really mentioned it. I suppose people just feel awkward but like you I think I would now ask how someone was getting on!

Hello @latulipe hope you’re doing ok. It can be frustrating waiting for AF. Hope she arrives soon for you. How many weeks were you when you found out about the mmc?

@GoldenBauble haha I know! I only started it on Boxing Day 🙈 That’s good news that your HCG levels are getting lower. Fingers crossed your comes back soon 🤞

@Mammacooks that’s great your AF showed up. I’m also having moments where I struggle to be positive. I have over googled and now I’m terrified I have ‘natural killer cells’ and that’s why I miscarried. I’m more worried that I’ll find it easy enough to conceive but struggle to carry a baby to full term. ARGH! I wish I could stop stressing. I keep meaning to look into counselling - must do that!