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40+ ttc: bring on the bfp's!

(267 Posts)
ababsurdum Thu 23-Feb-17 12:04:17

Continuation of the long-running 40+ ttc thread.

Link to the previous thread.

Alibaba2 Thu 23-Feb-17 12:15:12

Hello!

Good idea!

How are you?

ababsurdum Thu 23-Feb-17 12:51:20

Not great Alibaba, we've got tummy bugs here. How are you?

I think I'm 3dpo today but last managed to dtd two days before I think I ovulated due to ds being the first one ill.

Alibaba2 Thu 23-Feb-17 12:58:31

I hate tummy bugs! Well every other day is best apparently so 2 days before should be fine.

OK thanks, AF just finished after suspected CP. So onwards and upwards I guess!

ababsurdum Thu 23-Feb-17 13:08:10

I'm sorry, I read about that on the last thread. It sucks. I hope you are ok flowers

Alibaba2 Thu 23-Feb-17 13:09:03

Thank you. I feel OK. No worse than normal!

ababsurdum Thu 23-Feb-17 18:59:08

Sorry, I've no words of wisdom (not that you asked) as I think my brain is temporarily fried. At least with a cp you know something is happening. Fingers crossed you get a proper bfp soon.

Fuzzy how are your discussions with Serum going? Have you been over there yet?

Clara101 Fri 24-Feb-17 15:53:50

Thx for starting the thread again Ababs and hope you're feeling better Ali.

IAteSomeofthePies Fri 24-Feb-17 19:57:10

Thanks for the new thread, ababs. Sorry, Ali. That's really hard.

I'm feeling quite down about our prospects. But I was pregnant just last thread!

Alibaba2 Fri 24-Feb-17 22:21:33

Pies, that's encouraging then that you were recently pg. Can you remind me when it was and what happened? I think I was stalking the thread then rather than being a fully-fledged member!

I do feel down at times (like now) but hope the positivity kicks in soon - for both of us!

Thanks Clara - I'm doing ok thanks.

caluna Sat 25-Feb-17 12:43:23

Hi, thank you for restarting the thread!
I saw your cp news too, Alibaba, was so sorry to see that. Hope things look up this month.
I haven't been very active on the thread as I can't ttc this month, although still ttc in general - I had surgery for Asherman's a few weeks ago and have a coil in as part of the post op protocol.
For anyone who doesn't know me, I'm 44 ttc a second child, have 1 DD aged 4.
Also feeling quite down as I hadn't realised I was actually infertile for probably 2 yrs and now it is probably too late.
Good luck to all of us and hope we get some positivity soon!

Clara101 Sun 26-Feb-17 21:58:31

Hi caluna, good to have you on the thread and hope your recovery is going ok. Fingers crossed for you.

Hello Pies, it's hard isn't it.. Like you say you caught recently. Hopefully you will again soon!

I asked the ladies on 40+pregnant thread to give us any tips / hunches on what had made the difference for them. Varied suggestions so might be worth popping over. I also found it good to see that quite a few of them are 43+ and caught naturally which made me feel there is at least a glimmer of hope...

Fingers crossed for all.

Welshmamma Mon 27-Feb-17 10:08:54

Hi new to this thread. Hope you don't mind me joining in! I am 42 and would love a baby with my DH. Unfortunately he has a vasectomy twelve years ago. I have been looking at IVF/ICSI, but not sure it's the best move.
We have looked at reversal and after discussing both we wonder if this may be best move as we get to keep trying month after month rather than pay triple the money for only one or two chances.
We both have children from previous marriage but are so keen to have one of our own x

Mackonadragos Mon 27-Feb-17 10:25:53

Hi everyone,

First of all, I would like to wish you lots of luck Fuzzy in Athens! I've glanced through the previous thread and read many of your posts that are very-very informative. Thank you for that!

You mentioned that you were told that adhesions, infections or scar tissues might be suspected (or at least needed to be ruled out) as a possible explanation for recurrent miscarriages. My question is that have you got any symptoms - apart from miscarriages and Cps - that would suggest such things? Also, do you have any medical history that would suggest such things?

Hi Caluna, I wish you a quick recovery. I'd like to ask the same question that from Fuzzy - other than infertility, have you had any other symptoms that should suggested Asherman? And did you have any medical intervention (or anything else) that is the most likely cause?

I had a C-section 4 years ago, but since, I managed to fell PG twice. I have no awareness of any infections at all.)

Thank you for the answers.

Mackonadragos Mon 27-Feb-17 10:30:26

Now, I would like to share my experiences. I had a medical termination 1 year ago due to chromosomal abnormalities. I was 40,5 at the time. No complications, and after that, I fell PG again straight away, but it ended with an early miscarriage. Ever since (last June) I failed to fall PG.

However, every months I feel that my breast get very tender just a couple of days past ovulation and then when approaching my period I loose that tenderness and breast are getting back to normal. This is pretty much the pattern I have every months when we don't miss my OV window. (Last months my husband fell ill in the wrong time, so obviously no chance of GP, and my breast just got fuller a little bit as I got closer to period, so a completely different pattern.)

So I decided, after reading Ali's and Fuzzy's exchange on CP, that I do a bit of detective work.

So today a tested with a FRER, and it is positive.

I'm around 1 week before my period. Until now, I haven't tested with anything in the past half a year, but I became convinced that every time we have sex at the right time the egg actually meets the sperm (but it has never been followed by PG). My breast are reliable indicators, it seems, as I am not even surprised by the positive result. I expected this, and also expect my period to arrive in a couple of day's time. As it had happened in the last 7 months.

(On a side note, I never had problems getting PG, it happened first cycle whenever I tried before, and my last two were when I was 40.) So I too, wonder whether egg quality just declines so dramatically with such cut off point , as it seems to happened in my case.

Any thought on CPs and possible adhesions would be much appreciated, and that you for reading my rather long posts.

Alibaba2 Mon 27-Feb-17 12:13:21

Hi Mack, welcome back! Hope all is good with you.

Exciting developments your end then! How many dpo are you? What makes you think you will MC?

Regarding breasts, I think it's the progesterone that rises after ov which makes them tender and when the progesterone drops towards the end of the cycle, breasts become smaller.

I guess if you notice anything out of the ordinary then that could be a sign of pg.

When I fell pg a year ago (also age 40.5), my breasts became large after ov, then they decreased, then they became swollen again about 1 day or 2 later.

Since my MC last year, I haven't noticed any change in my breasts until last cycle. About 9dpo, I noticed both breasts became larger and one was lumpy and tender.

Was it this cycle (BFP) that your breasts became tender at the end of your cycle? Or the cycles when you didn't dtd?

I don't think egg quality drops too dramatically as far as I know. Although I guess there is no test for egg quality so who knows...

Good luck for this cycle!

Alibaba2 Mon 27-Feb-17 12:24:54

Thanks Caluna and Clara. Welcome Welsh!

Caluna - good luck for your recovery. Was it you who was treated by Dr Lower? My friend had mild/moderate Asherman's and she got pg in the first cycle after her op. I hope you have the same outcome! Don't think it's too late. It's just a case of catching the egg. Admittedly we need a bit luck and determination on our side but hopefully we have that!

Clara - I had a read of the 40+ pg thread. Interesting! I did the same a few months back actually. Great to hear some positive outcomes.

Welsh - excuse my ignorance but can they do IVF without vasectomy reversal? I guess financially reversal is the best option. I never know if IVF has better outcomes that trying naturally at our age as it doesn't improve egg quality but I guess you have more chances of fertilisation. Good luck and welcome to the thread!

Mackonadragos Mon 27-Feb-17 13:27:22

Hi Ali,

Thank you for your reply.

I'm in my 21st day of my cycle, how many days after ovu, hmm, I'm not quite sure. This cycle I had a very early LH surge (well, LH surges, on day 10 and 11) , which might mean that I will have a short 24 day cycle.

Regarding breast tenderness, in my last cycle when I definitely could not be pregnant (due to illnesses), there was no sudden and dramatic change that I could feel, only that my breasts gradually felt fuller towards the end of my period (and when it arrived breasts got back normal).

However, during the last 9 months of trying, nearly every time after OV I feel a sudden change in my breast, they get very tender. And before period arrives (normally 3-4 days before) they equally suddenly get back to normal again.

So this is why I tested so early, to catch PG, before it disappears. It is very elusive. (As Fuzzy also pointed out in one of her latest posts.)

So why thinking of MC? Because I think this what has happened many times in the last couple of months. The only difference is, that this time I have the proof of a pregnancy test, rather than just my feelings of body changes. So in case I go to a doctor, I can tell him proofs of pregnancy, rather than things that they would discard as speculations. Also, I was curious whether this "breast -indicator" of mine is just imaginary, and I kept thinking it was not. (Talking about MC -as my periods arrived normally, and now I'm convinced that I fell PG many times in the last couple of months, it does not feel a proper MC, it is just the very advanced test technology that gives us a little deeper inside of our bodies, that was impossible in the past. It is still a disappointing feeling though.)

Anyway, good luck with your next round, and I will report back in a couple of day's time.

booox Mon 27-Feb-17 13:33:02

Thanks abab. Checking in, age 40 now! #2, cycle 3.

This month I took epo, I'm sure there was more ewcm and better equality!

booox Mon 27-Feb-17 13:38:50

Sorry to read your news ali.

mack I'm not sure what to advise but I do know 'it starts with the egg' is very useful. However I know nothing about adhesions.

I am 6/7 dpo. I had my first ever + opk last Sunday as I tested x3 a day during fertile period. I've been a bit crampy since but can't work out if it's wind or not! Just now an egg tasted very different too... <symptom spotting>

booox Mon 27-Feb-17 13:40:04

mack - this one may stick?

Mackonadragos Mon 27-Feb-17 13:48:10

Hello again,

I too read into the pregnancy thread, thanks to Clara. And what caught my eye was

"^DH had been ejaculating twice a week at least in the 2 months prior to getting pg, as this was required for the sperm test. Apparently that clears out the old sperm (which can deteriorate in situ) and means you have the optimum turnover of new swimmers. Fertility consultant was most insistent on this!^ "

My very first PG, when I was 33, ended in MC, and at that time we were very inactive, so only got together for the baby, fell PG first cycle. So ever since my husband needs to exercise in one way or the other, no old sperms can enter into my -temple- body. So in my experience, it is good not to focus solely on the ovu window, but have a bit of work before too.

Finally, I also read in the latest papers, I found on the net, that unless someone suffers from low sperm count, the best practice is to have sex every singe day, and not in every 2-3 days as it is normally recommended. This gives the highest number of pregnancies, the volume of sperms slightly decreases, but they will have a better quality. I think the 2-3 days only advised because in reality by the time OV happens couples get far too tired. Nevertheless, it worth trying if you have the energy for such endless fun.

I wish good luck to all of you.

booox Mon 27-Feb-17 13:50:35

Thanks mack, we actually did do it every day from day 9-13.

Mackonadragos Mon 27-Feb-17 13:55:50

Hello Violet,

with your age of 40, you still have a good chance, especially that you already have a child. Good luck this month.

As for me, we will see. I'm very cautious.

My problems can be with egg quality, implantation problems or hormonal problems. The last one would be an easier to sort, egg quality - not much we can do about it.

Anyway good luck to all of you.

Mackonadragos Mon 27-Feb-17 14:07:23

Violet, I would want to think that perhaps your husband should be a bit more active (in one way or the other) in the firs week after the period. Not because the higher chance of getting pregnant, but just to maintain sperm quality.

I came to the conclusion, that focusing on the OV window and neglecting it after for a longer period perhaps not the best practice (in reality, after OV nothing can make me have more sex, so I try to optimize during the first week.)

Also I'm constantly experimenting with the most optimum pattern, as for me, the strict focus on OV window did not really work. (Having said that in this cycle my OV happened so early, that I had no chance of experimenting with the timing.)

These what I just said is not rocket science, just my wondering thoughts.

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