We might be over 40 but we are young at heart, taking our supplements, shagging on time and waiting for the precious BFP!Over 40's TTC, join us here...(1000 Posts)
Starting the new thread, Cloudjumper.
Anyone over 40, trying to conceive, whether it is your first or 6th (or more), we're facing the obstacles together.
I've been at it for 6 years now, but there are plenty of good news stories from these threads over the years.
Come and join us with your worries, woes,successes and milestones, we are here to support one another in our quest.
Hi everyone, hope you found the new thread.
I am CD9 now, thinking I will start OPK's tomorrow.Feeling a little bit motivated this month. Not sure why, oh, actually, it was probably due to the phantom BFP last month. I still have the test, and now that it is quite dry, it has a very clear pink line. Must have been another chemical, I think. Of course if I hadn't tested at 12 dpo, I'd have never known, and would have just had my period as normal. But it does make me feel a little bit hopeful (very silly, I know).
I was visiting with my sister yesterday and she has a new partner. He's keen for them to try to have a baby, but she's not that keen (which is good, as she isn't the most stable person, and is still trying to sort herself out,and already has 4 kids whom she struggles with and shares the care with their father). Anyway, we were talking about the difficulties in getting pregnant over 40 (she's 44). She said she'd been to her GP during the week and the GP told her she had to stop the pill because of her age. My sister asked what the likelihood of getting pregnant would be, and the GP told her, "it happens all the time", that she has many patients come to her in their forties, mainly for terminations,as the pregnancies are unplanned. My sister then told me that she was at a social gathering chatting to women, and in the group she was with, three of the women, aged 41-47, had had terminations in their forties!
So, it seems that women can and do get pregnant in their forties. Of course, we don't know how many of them would have carried to term, but our first hurdle is getting the bfp, and it does appear to happen.
Anyway, I am doing my best to remember the supplements, but not being very good.Must try a bit harder.And I am completely out of practice with the thermometer, though I think it would be a good idea to get started again, as it does help inform me of ovulation and when to expect AF.
As for drinking alcohol, I do it occasionally, though I am finding I am not very tolerant of wine these days. I seem to feel seedy and allergic the next day, even after only 1 or 2 glasses. Which means I am more likely to drink a G&T instead, which isn't necessarily a good thing, alcohol wise, but it has less impact on my body. It's not very often, and if it helps with relaxation, it's worth it. Stress is a killer of progesterone production - so better to be relaxed with a glass of wine, than stressed and producing too much cortisol.
It's Sunday down under. I am going to a yoga class this morning, then planning on some serious tidying and de-cluttering this afternoon.
Have a lovely weekend
Hi everyone and thank you for giving me hope and a positive boost.(just posted this on old thread by accident-so thought i should re post here too??)
40+yr olds rock IMO and we are not old...although at times i am feeling it.
I am 42- no offspring yet :-(. DH and me have had unprotected sex for 6 years- did not partic want to go down IVF route. No joy and i was told it was most unlikely I would ever conceive and had started to come to terms with that and began looking into adoption..... Then bolt from the blue conceived 26/12/14. Unfortunately miscarried at 8 weeks. Currently still awaiting first AF after D&C on 14/02/15.
Chewy can you please give me some healthy egg tips? Because my body finally decided I could conceive i want to give things another shot and will try anything (and I seriously mean anything) tht may help my chances of pregnancy.
As an aside-i found a large moveable painless breast lump last night- can anyone advise is this potentially due to the hormonal changes of pregnancy and miscarriage/? obvs a tad concerned-don't want anything to delay my changes of TTc again.
Love and hope to you all in your endeavours
A new thread on (UK) Mother's Day? It must be an auspicious sign surely? Hope its a lucky thread for everyone and next Mother's Day we'll all have our newborns!
For now, I'm looking forward to being well and truly spoilt today ... drums fingers, still waiting ...
Gum - did you start the Red Clover Isoflavones? Perhaps they're helping this renewed optimism?
I've just tried some Soy Isoflavones myself this cycle, on CD5 - 9, although I wish I knew more about the best time to take them, as its total guesswork here. So far I can report having been quite rejuvenated in the EWCM department! Sorry if TMI, but have noticeably more this cycle.
Fireflies - glad you enjoyed the Mumsnet VIP party - a great reason to fall off teetotal wagon I think. Hypothetically, I could envisage a few situations where I'd be thrilled to risk finding myself trouserless in front of Gareth Malone - reveals shamelessly inappropriate crush - but the Mumsnet party ain't one of them!
Joey38 - I haven't drunk alcohol since before I was pg with my 20 month old. Having chosen not to drink while pg/breastfeeding, being teetotal just became a habit and no big deal. But maybe its because I never would have had, say, a glass of wine with a meal, because I just don't like it. My drinking, when I did, was of the going-out-on-Friday-night-and-getting-fairly-trashed variety - and I can't do that now ... I just wish I found it as easy to go without caffeine and way too many carbs and sugary cr*p. Which for TTC, are worse than alcohol, I think.
Cloud - sounds like you've had a great time in the Alps - and maybe coming back with a little bean on board?
Jass - I'm hoping to read an update saying your spotting has stopped. Aren't you already further along than when you've had spotting previously? I do hope it turns out to be not what you expect, and that you'll have a scan once you're home and everything's fine, that its just one of those 'other' reasons for spotting. Maybe, like I had a subchorionic haematoma with DD at 9 weeks, or like my friend who bled a bit each month when she would've got AF for several months into her full term pg. So I hope, please, perhaps its something like that?
I am very sorry to hear about your miscarriage. It is heartbreaking. I do hope all will go well for you now.
There is a lot you can do for egg health. But off the top of my head I can't actually remember. I did read a book on it, and I think I may have done a little summary on the other thread - I will head back there and see if I can find it.
The book is called: 'It Starts with the Egg: How the Science of Egg Quality Can Help You Get Pregnant Naturally, Prevent Miscarriage, and Improve Your Odds in IVF' by Rebecca Fett.
My review (taken from three separate posts):
" So far I have learnt this:
-stay away from BPA plastic
-stay away from Phthatates (spelling?): today I will check ingredients on all my toiletries
-get thyroid, vit d level checked, make sure you don't have celiac disease (have done all that: vit d a bit low, so I take a sup, and I am gluten intolerant, so a yes to avoiding all gluten)
I am now up to the bit about what to take in supplements: so far its folic acid and Co q 10
What I really love is that scientifically speaking, if we look after our eggs in the 3-4 months run up to ovulation we have a much better chance of producing a healthy egg. It's not the commonly held idea that our eggs are old and therefore crap, we can actually nurture the environment they are in and give the right nutrition to support the production of a healthy egg.
The book suggested Melatonin as an anti-oxidant, but only if you are having ivf because it can stop ovulation. So I might start an anti-oxidant with Vit A,C,E.
THe book also suggests abstinence from wine (gasp!) and limiting caffeine. Caffeine is the one I have most trouble with. I love my tea, and I really don't like decaf. "
I hope that helps, Pheno.
I hope all the regulars on the thread find us. And I hope old friends like Deige and Calibee.
Crossed post with Chewy - Hello!
Perhaps the red clover is helping? I have noticed some weird boob aches here and there.
I meant to say, Pheno, that the lump in your breast is probably nothing to worry about, but best to get thte GP to have a look (feel) to be sure.
I must dash, tired 6 year old is getting into trouble with his dad, must get him into the bath...
Sorry phenomum - cross posts. On egg quality, I pinched a tip from elsewhere on MN and posted previously about a book called
'It Starts with the Egg: How the Science of Egg Quality Can Help You Get Pregnant Naturally, Prevent Miscarriage, and Improve Your Odds in IVF (2014)' by Rebecca Fett.
I think its definitely worth a look: link to Amazon - or - link to author's website
I think it was Gum who posted about high protein / low carb diets for fertility. And I believe Gum walks the talk and follows a great paleo, gluten free diet. (Sigh, I find it really hard ...) I've since seen research suggesting that if at least 40% of your diet is protein, it generates better outcomes for IVF. Can't find it now, but sure Dr Google has it somewhere ...
Must run - because of course I'm about to be spoilt rotten today ... Laters x
FFS - now crossed posts with Gum! I'm so freakin' slow on the I-Pad! And as there's still no spoiling on horizon, perhaps I should just go back to bed ...
Thank you Gum and Chewy.Will check out the links/book and all advice on here;-)- Gonna try everything but willl be hard with diet...already buying separate for me and DH-gonna need bigger kitchen.
Hope all you Mothers have a lovely day.
Hello everyone! I have been reading so have an idea of what everyone's up to, and think of this thread often - especially my old pal Gum xx
Just wanted to say what a lovely supportive thread this is, and a special hug for jass xxx
Hi all, marking my place for the next couple of months until I officially call it a day. Dh was out last night & I sobbed all the way through 'one born every minute' which can't be normal (or maybe it is). There was a 41 yr old having her first baby though.
I am going to stop coffee & wine for my last couple of months (except next weekend when I'm out with girlfriends.....) probably won't make any difference because, as gum says, it takes a few months to improve egg quality.
My caffeine problem is work avoidance - 'a mountain of books to mark - think I'll just make a coffee. A meeting to go to - think I'll just make a coffee! And so it goes on. I also drink peppermint tea so will try more of that instead of the coffee.
Thinking of you Jass. Hope it was just a normal bit of spotting & has all stopped now.
Party sounds hilarious FF. I didn't even know there was such a thing as a mumsnet party!
Welcome phenomum. Sorry about mc. I'm sure lump is nothing but always worth checking with dr. Maybe a cyst?
Did you get that spoiling Chewy. I've been waiting for the florist to arrive all day but nothing! Got presented with 3 cards by a very excited dd at 6.30 this morning though which was great......
Glad you had a lovely holiday cloud.
Hello deige how are things?
Himeveryone, thanks for support, ai am going here the bookkeepers way - count my loss and if it finally would turn out ok, its an unexpected positive.
Yes, the spotting has stopped, but unfortunately before it started I had a whole day of really bad cramping. It is teue though that at 8w2 days it is the time I missed my second period. But also it seems like my breasts are not really sore anymore and zi do not get this seasick feeeling. I have spent two days skiing though and am very grtaeful that if it had to happen, then it started before I made,it to the slopes, otherwise I would have thought too much exercise caused it. Now this can not be the case, exercise has stopped the spotting. Some hope comes from the fact that i have been on baby aspirin and thi smorning had a huge nosebleed, which shows my blood really is quite thon at the moment. It was comic - went ot toilet snd noticed some spots of blood on the floor. Cleaned it up and thought, OK this is developing into mc pretty fast now. And then realised this blood is actually dripping from my nose.What a relief:-)))
Phenomum, welcome and sorry about mc.... I would definitely want a doctor to check the lump. We here must not say it is nothing, it most likely of course is, but..... better be safe than sorry. Good luck with egg quality efforts! Infertility is a condition which sometimes reverses itself, so good luck!
Am sitting at a mountaintop hotel near fireplace among colleagues, must go before someone notices the name of our thread or sth....
Found you again! Thank you for the new thread, gum.
A happy Mother's Day to all you lovely mums on here. And hopefully we will all have another (or first for some) before next. Did the big spoiling come, Chewy?
Grizzer good luck for these two months. JassS, what can I say, we are all hoping, waiting, holding our breath for you and the bean. Welcome, Phenomum, how dreadful these mcs are, I think we've all been there. The hope and desperation... but you did get pregnant once, you'll be pregnant again.
Cd24, 10dpo here, usually 24 day cycle, but late ovulation this month so case of wait and see.
Joining new thread, as I go into day 28 so with the expectation that AF will show up today. I'd written this month off so now making resolutions about next month. I too have been a bit haphazard with vitamins this time.
Pheno I can only speak about my own experience, but I found a lump a few years back when DS was still very young. I was fast tracked for investigations, same day results which was brilliant (are you in the UK like me?) and it turned out to be 'fatty necrotic tissue' (lovely, eh?) so harmless. Do get checked out and hopefully they can quickly reassure you.
jass got fingers crossed still..
Thanks for the new thread, gum ! I'm still catching up after getting back from France last night, so sorry if I don't name-check everyone!
jass How are you today? Still having everything crossed for you.
Welcome to the thread pheno - you will find lots of advice and support here! I've also started a ttc regime following the 'It starts with the egg' book, taking the recommended supplememts and looking after what I eat/drink.
I hardly ever drink alcohol these days (although I have to admit that I had wine every night while on holiday ), and I tend to only drink Rooibosh tea, which is caffeine-free - my vice is coffee... I limit myself to 2 cups a day, but would like to cut back to one (and then have one decaff instead as the second).
The thing I find difficult is to get DH to do his part! He happily takes the supplements that
I buy for him I tell him to take, but so far, no luck with suggestions to cut back on alcohol, sigh... He drinks far too much in my opinion, even if we weren't ttc, I would want him to reduce his intake.
So I'm now in the 2ww - 5DPO. The one day on our holiday that we could not dtd due to DS needing to be looked after was the day I ovulated, grrr! Managed the day before and after, so we'll have to see... (FF rates our intercourse timing with 'Good' this cycle, so there is some hope, I guess ).
Fingers crossed, cloud. I think FF need to up their game. I'd like to know if I got an upper 2nd or a lower one at the very least. Or maybe A* for 5/5 (O-3, O-2, O-1, O and O+1) A for 4/5... Oh, how I could obsess!
Cd25, 11dpo, not that I'm counting. No symptoms whatsoever.
I have not seen anything unseemly since Saturday, when I woke up with htis spotting. It continued,during the day for a little, but now I have not noticed anything. Negotiating over e-mailwith my gyne whether i can get a scan when I am back in town, they are suggesting urgance and I am insisting there is no urgency in the situation, I just do not fsncy going to 10 weeks if I can know at 9 what the state of play is. Otherwise, I am just skiing. If skiing keeps the spotting away, maybe I should remain on the slopes until 12 weeks or sth:-)))
Hmm. Near the end of day 28, both my last cycles ended with AF arriving on day 28, no sign yet. However, I did a test earlier and got BFN. Stop me getting my (slender) hopes up!
Gum interesting what your sister says. I believe unexpected pregnancies in the over-40s is quite high. I have also read that some women might conceive once peri-menopausal as fluctuating hormones create a viability that didn’t exist before. A male friend rather charmingly, to cheer me up after failed IVF round 2, advised that he would take precautions with a 40 something woman, but not one in her 50s!!
I put out most of my supps in a pill box for the week and have reminders on my phone (which I then ignore. ) Do you think the isoflavones have done anything?
Welcome Phenomum Sorry to hear about your MC. But it does show that you can get pregnant. As far as the lump goes, I can’t advise anything other than bite the bullet and get it checked out by your GP asap. Chances are it’s nothing to worry about though.
Don’t panic about TTC, as 42 is still pretty young. Getting on for 45+ like me and it’s more difficult, but not impossible. I read Marilyn Glanville’s ‘Getting Pregnant Faster’. I found this thread: www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=226042.0 and am sure it helped conceive DS. Just read the OP, I don’t think there is much else to be gained from the rest of it. You’ll probably find the number of times she mentions preventing MC reassuring. I guess at about five years old it’s getting a bit out of date, but I haven’t had time to find more recent threads as detailed. I’ve been advised that Maca would also be good to take and I’ve just had a go with Soy Isoflavones this cycle. I had mixed feelings about DHEA, as AngelBump was anti it, but I see it’s prescribed by The Lister now, so I may reconsider if the current load I’m taking doesn’t work in a few months.
Are you up on when you ovulate? And what about your DP/DH? Is he doing all the right things too, because it’s not just down to us fabulous ladies. The gents have some input too!
Can’t think of any more useful tips, but hope AF shows up soon and you can start TTC again. Hope you’ll stick with us!
Chewy were you showered with gifts, sent to a beauty salon for several hours, waited on hand and foot all day in the end….??!! I received a lovely home made card. I took DS to the beach for a quick visit in the morning, so was rewarded with a nap (getting rare now!!), and, just this once, felt it ok to ask DH to sit in the car with him in the driveway until he woke, while I had lunch! Took DM for a cream tea and we forced a glass of bubbly down, so all in all was a v nice day, but I did organise a lot of it myself. How was your duvet day?
Did you have a look at that thread on SI, Chewy? It was quite instructive at the start. I took mine on days 4-8, but I guess my cycle is diff to yours.
Ha haaaaa. I think you’re not alone having a crush on GM! There was lots of breathless giggling about him! I wonder how his wife (who was there) deals with it?!
Grizzer it’s perfectly normal to sob all the way through OBEM! I have only just been able to start watching it again and get very emotional when I do. Good idea to ditch the caffeine and wine. Does decaff do it for you? I got delish decaff from a posh independent coffee shop and found that hit the spot beautifully in the mornings. I allow myself one miniscule half teaspoon of instant caffeinated coffee a day when I really need a boost, but had to wean myself off lots of strong coffee first. I wish I could make myself drink decaff green tea, but just can’t do it. Got pills instead!! What about Soy? DHEA?
The party was a one-off until their 20/21st, and I just got v lucky, but there are meet ups at Xmas time for the truly committed.
JassS I really hope the spotting is not what you expect. Keeping my fingers crossed. I hope you are managing to relax a bit where you are anyway. Sounds idyllic. Hope the skiing prescription works!
Cloud sounds like you had a good holiday. Well done for getting a ‘good’ from FF!! Have a gold star too!! Well, the SMEP aims to have the sperm waiting for the egg, so it sounds like DTD the day before was just as well times as on the day. As for your naughty DH….. well, you can get him to come and join us and make his case for drinking!!
fridge sorry about the BFN.
The SI, as far as I know, completely did my head in. I really couldn’t think straight. I found the last post I did a real struggle. But, have had the 48 hour smile face from CB OPK today, which is a day earlier than last month, which I guess can only be a good thing.
I was getting more Agnus Castus on Fri in Neal’s Yard, and was recommended this: www.nealsyardremedies.com/remedies/herbal-remedies/herbal-tinctures/8234.html#tab1 The assistant hinted that a night of long-lasting and ardent passion would follow if we both had some in a nice hot chocolate. Naturally I was happy to down the lot, however, DH wouldn’t take the full dose, pretty much spat it out and ‘arrived’ even earlier than normal…. So don’t know if we will bother with that again!! DH has been complaining as I’ve made up his pill box for the week. I suspected he wasn’t taking he supps…. I’ve got some IC HPTs which will work, apparently, 6 days before AF due. I am going to be using these to encourage less of the slacking off that occurs WRT DH once he’s ‘done his duty’ for the month,
Better go, need to sign off before falling asleep so can DTD and make the most of that smiley face. Happy shagging all.
Nope, the Mother's Day 'spoiling' from DP never materialised, his reason being that as I'm not in the least bothered by Valentine's Day (and I'm really not) he felt safe to apply the same principle. Huh? Anyway, I gave up waiting mid morning and took DD, DP and presents, to visit my mum. She's in her 80's, but still cooked three different versions of lunch to suit everyone, chased DD round the garden, then let DD 'help' her play songs from Frozen and the Sound of Music on the piano ... Meanwhile I had an hour's peace (if not quiet) to myself, to relax with a Kir Royale, half a packet of fags and FaceTime with Gareth Malone. Oh alright, a cup of tea and the Sunday paper, but quite a novelty nonetheless.
Fireflies - how lovely to live somewhere you can make flying visits to the beach - lucky you!
I admit, I got a bit lost with the SI thread. Did you say that taking the SI on CD 4 - 8, made your smiley face a day early? Do you normally have long cycles? Anyway, I shall look forward to your IC HPT update!
I took the SI on CD 5 - 9, and don't think it changed my +ve OPK. I was worried it might make it sooner, which I didn't want, as I have some ridiculous notions that eggs need to grow a bit and my cycles are on the short side anyway (26-27 days, although they can vary +/- a day.) As it happened, the smiley face turned up on a fairly standard (for me) CD 13 in the morning, although there's a chance it started CD 12 pm, but forgot to test - doh!
All that said, overall, this month has been a TTC write off . But that's a ranty rant for another day perhaps.
Grizzer - I totally get crying at One Born Every Minute. I've had to dig my fingernails into my hands, just by walking past the baby clothes section of many a high street retailer ... Chin up. Wouldn't it be great if the caffeine and wine abstinence was the little thing that makes the difference? And I should definitely follow your lead with the peppermint tea.
Reni - sounds like great timing! As a matter of interest, is the 'O' in O -3 etc from FF temping? I call ov day the day I get a smiley face, which its probably not, but I don't have anything else to go on.
Fridge - still no AF??? Hope you'll need to test again soon.
Cloud - did you get your MR results? Hope all OK.
Jass - very glad the spotting has stopped. You seem quite relaxed, which must be a good thing. Yes, perhaps you can get a doctor's prescription for another few weeks skiing?
Fromwest - thinking about you and hope all is well with you too.
Good luck to everyone else.
Chewy Yes, FF calls O-day the day your temp starts to rise, ie. you ovulate... Not sure how that translates into smileys, as I have never used digital OPKs, but if they are anything like my internet cheapies or the CBFM, then that 'just' indicates that you are about to ovulate in the next 24-36 hours. I think that temping is the only method that allows accurate pinpointing of the ovulation day (but I might be wrong with that!).
reni Are you going to test soon?! Or will you hold out until you are late?
I despise Mother's Day and all the shenanigans (like Valentine's Day!). Fortunately, DH knows this and acts accordingly. DS, on the other hand, loved the card he made me so much that he insisted to have it propped up on his bedside table when he went to bed
I'm getting my MRI results on the 27th, got an appointment with the consultant then. I just love private healthcare - called the secretary today, and even though I had never spoken to her before, she recognised my name immediately and knew why I was calling. And then proceeded to give me an appointment on a Friday at 6pm. I know that the consultant gets paid extortionate amounts, and I am eternally grateful that he will see me on a Friday evening, but blimey, I wouldn't want to be married to him, I bet his wife and family never see him!
Cloud- I don't dare to test, I have no symptoms at all and can't look at another bfn. I am a total chicken. Temps are a bit rocky, not helped by 2 days of not doing this on time. No doubt AF will put me out of my misery tomorrow.
Chewy- I had a static smiley two days before ovulation last month.
Yes, in fact I am strangely relaxed. I guess what will be will be and I have not yet got myself to the point where I was too attached. I am enjoying what is enjoyable and there is plenty, I now know I will get down from mountains without having had an embarassig situation of bleeding incpublic place, as nothing can develop so quickly. Have also a scan and doc lined up for 17.00 Friday. I expect bad news of course, but I think the sadness willcome then when I know. Now still OK....
Cloud goo dluck with doctor and glad you have great access!
Good luck for Reni, despite the lack of symptoms, and Fridge as well!
Chewy I found myself drifting off into a lovely reverie along with you there for a moment!! What a lovely way to (imagine) spending an hour or two. And wow! Your Mum sounds amazing!!
Oh, we don't live near the beach. It's my parents who do. Really lovely part of the country. They're about 1.5 hours from our home.
Yes, I got the 48 hour CB smiley a day earlier than last month. Did an IC OPK on Friday (day 8), and got a feint line, and did another this morning and got a strong one. My cycle is pretty short. Rarely anything other than 24 days. Don't want to shorten cycle but def want to ov earlier as ov on day 13 seems too late. Also, I like the idea of SI 'strengthening' your eggs. I took 100mgs days 4, 5, and 6, but forgot day 7, so took one asap on day 8... freaking well forgot to take them with me for w/e so didn't take any more than that.
Cloud I think you’re right, temping is the only way to pinpoint ov day. I’ve missed what your MRI scan is for. Do you mind filling me in? Totally agree about private healthcare. I really miss it!! Your DS sounds sweet!
I suspect if I was on FF I’d be getting ‘could do better' this month!!
Fingers crossed for everyone still in the running!!
Such a lovely evening. DS decided he’d had enough of me tonight and requested Daddy at bedtime. (PFB can’t go to sleep on his own yet…) Oh, the freedom!!
Am off to open my parcel of IC HPTs and work out when I can start those. Think it's in just over a week, though I don't know how accurate they will be at that stage.
Waves to all. xx
Lots going on here, which is good.
Cloud, I hope the MRI scan brings good news.
Jass, you are a remarkable woman, having been through so many miscarriages, and still sane and positive. I have everything crossed for your ultrasound.
I think I might completely miss an opportunity to catch the egg this time around. DH is going away today. It's day 12 and we've not had any SWI whatsoever! So he won't be back til day 14 and is likely to be totally shattered after his trip away with students. Maybe the red clover isoflavones will make O a bit later (at least that is what I am hoping) as I usually O on day 14. However, I have had later ovulations, so maybe...I think I will get a "completely hopeless" score on FF this month! At least I am taking my temp again, so I may have a more accurate idea of what's going on.
I have fingers crossed that the SI and RCI (red clover) will be our ticket to a THB
Wouldn't it be lovely....
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