To not want to say my pronouns

[Bamechage]

Completely happy to get roasted here and for people to tell me I’m wrong but I’m a woman and my name is always mistaken for a man as I shorten it to unisex. I enjoy the ambiguity of it and that in written correspondence people don’t know. Where I work have made it mandatory and I understand it’s to be more inclusive but I liked people not knowing. Have I completely missed the point here and aibu?

[ManifestingJoy]

If imasked ill say "no thank you"

[leavesthataregreen]

Don't state them. Or go for they/them to keep people guessing if you like the ambiguity.

[ManifestingJoy]

In your case i would make the point that you choose ambiguity

[RealhousewifeofBarnardCastle]

It’s more Stonewall bul,shit, just don’t do it

[RealhousewifeofBarnardCastle]

YANBU btw

[GeorgiaMcGraw]

It really shouldn't be mandatory. There is nothing inclusive about forcing people to declare their gender identity in every email they make at work.

[Gorl]

It’s a tricky one. On the one hand I have no issue with promoting the sharing of pronouns for the sake of gender inclusivity, but given that women are often treated worse than their male counterparts when people know they are corresponding with a woman I can totally understand why you liked the ambiguity of your neutral name.

I suppose you could maintain the ambiguity by using they / them, but I understand if that doesn’t feel like the right solution for you either.

Could you say ‘I prefer not not share my pronouns’ instead? Would you / your employer feel comfortable with that?

[NavigatingAdolescence]

They can’t make it mandatory. That’s discriminatory against those who don’t subscribe to gender identity theory, which has been legally tested as a reasonable belief.

Plenty of advice on the feminism boards on how to respond.

[Saz12]

Could your pronoun sign off be “Pronoun: prefer not to say”? Because that’s true - you don’t want to give it out.

[Boood]

They aren’t allowed to make you do it, as NavigatingAdolescence says.

[MrsWooster]

It would materially disadvantage you, by identifying you as a female with the proven workplace discrimination that this brings. Say no thank you.

[musicalfrog]

Yeh I think this needs to be optional. Just say you prefer not to. You shouldn't need to give a reason.

[DownWhichOfLate]

yogyakartaprinciples.org/principle-6/

[faithfulbird20]

I've read this thread and some of the posts which give examples....I have to re read them two to three or even five times to understand what it means...it's making everything confusing...how will kids understand?

I'm female. I just don't like people knowing my name or too much about me. I had to write an email to school today. Signed it off with first initial of name and surname. It made me feel safe.

[IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves]

Say you don't identify as having any pronouns.

[SummerInSun]

@GeorgiaMcGraw

It really shouldn't be mandatory. There is nothing inclusive about forcing people to declare their gender identity in every email they make at work.

This. They couldn't make you declare whether you are straight/gay/bi/trans, they couldn't make you declare your age, they couldn't make you declare if you had a disability irrelevant to work. Someone in HR has completely got the wrong end of the stick. By trying to do the right thing, they've done the wrong thing.

[LarryUnderwood]

Perhaps email HR and say you're not comfortable stating pronouns as it feels like you are being asked to 'out' yourself which you aren't comfortable with. I don't see how they could argue with that without getting themselves in a real pickle - they can't insist that you identify yourself as cis or trans any more than they could insist you reveal any other protected characteristic.

[jeaux90]

Same here, use neutral version.

You are no more mandated to share pronouns than you are to tell people that you are religious.

Utterly invasive of your private life.

You are allowed to not believe in gender identity under uk law.

[sashh]

It's personal data, how are they going to ensure it complies with GDPR?

[RolloTomassi]

@MrsWooster

It would materially disadvantage you, by identifying you as a female with the proven workplace discrimination that this brings. Say no thank you.

This is what I'd say too.

[Nothanksverymuch]

I have my name as my preferred pronouns in my works email footer.

If people are talking about me in the third person, they can use my fucking name.

[RedGateWoman]

It's not inclusive, it's intrusive.

And sexist.

[toconclude]

@GeorgiaMcGraw

It really shouldn't be mandatory. There is nothing inclusive about forcing people to declare their gender identity in every email they make at work.

It isn't. OPs choice. But everyone will get their pants in a panic claiming it is, could be or might possibly be suggested and how terrible

[Shedbuilder]

If and when this happens to me I'll just say I'm female and I don't have a gender identity and don't believe in gender ideology, so I can't comply.

Under the Equality Act your belief (or lack of belief) is protected. So while other people can believe what they like, they can't compel you to participate in their belief.

If anyone makes a fuss, I'd remind them that research indicates that people whose names are easily identified as female are treated less favourably than people whose names are identifiable as male and that by showing yourself as female you may be putting yourself at a disadvantage. I'd also send them a link to the Equality Act 2010. Sex and belief are protected.