To not want to say my pronouns

[Bamechage]

Completely happy to get roasted here and for people to tell me I’m wrong but I’m a woman and my name is always mistaken for a man as I shorten it to unisex. I enjoy the ambiguity of it and that in written correspondence people don’t know. Where I work have made it mandatory and I understand it’s to be more inclusive but I liked people not knowing. Have I completely missed the point here and aibu?

Fine if you are a person where you feel the question of your gender is something you'd like to definitively clarify/confirm for the benefit of others great. For others, such as myself, nobody has accidentally or purposefully misgendered me yet in half a century of being on the planet, either remotely or in person so I think I'd probably be cool without it and I wouldn't feel compelled to include it in my signature. And if I had to do so, I would honestly include ALL the pronouns in there and they can pick they one they fancy for me that day, if they like, I'm simply not arsed.

I'd prefer not to use them as have no interest in or what people are or identify as .
By your now admission you say your names ambiguous a pronoun might be helpful .In some workplaces you get something like this wrong you'd be up on a disciplinary .

@whichiswitch

Isn't it transphobic to make it mandatory. What about trans people who may be struggling with their identity. Or if someone is wanting to detransition. Shouldn't it be up to the individual to decide what and when to announce to the wider world. I don't have a problem with pronouns on emails as a choice but the mandatory aspect doesn't feel very inclusive to me.

Quite. I know MN leans GC (at least those people who are vocal) but it might be worth pointing out that mandatory pronouns force people to either out themselves or lie. You'll find quite a few trans people who oppose making it mandatory for that reason.

And if I had to do so, I would honestly include ALL the pronouns in there and they can pick they one they fancy for me that day, if they
like, I'm simply not arsed

Theres about 70 pronouns now, plus they can be doubled up she/fae or maybe tripled up, who knows any more.
That's gonna be a long arsed email footer.

@knitnerd90 I quite agree that mandatory pronouns are unfair on those who don't want to out themselves or lie. Unfortunately, Stonewall are a big driver of pronouns being announced in emails, meeting etc www.stonewall.org.uk/about-us/news/international-pronouns-day and as many organisations are part of the Stonewall Diversity Champions scheme, this is why is it becoming so pervasive.

Most people who prefer to keep their gender identity unknown go by They/Them. I've found it helps when working in places where women aren't valued as much as men

Well surely it's easy to winkle out the women as they are all they them.
As being he/him doesn't effect men negatively they aren't going to adopt grammatically incorrect pronouns for a gaff are they?

You are, however, ensuring that it's easy to discriminate against women and then hide behind the 'i don't know their gender, they're they/them' excuse.

"
However, changing gender 'does not affect the descent of any peerage or dignity or title of honour' (www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2004/7/section/16) so as far as I can tell, even if a woman transitioned to a man, they would still not be entitled to inherit. A man who transitioned to a woman would still inherit under the above law"
Inheritance is sex based. There's a shock. So men are women when they want access to women's spaces, but men when they want to join the house of Lords. Course they fucking are.

@rwalker

I'd prefer not to use them as have no interest in or what people are or identify as . By your now admission you say your names ambiguous a pronoun might be helpful .In some workplaces you get something like this wrong you'd be up on a disciplinary .

Can you imagine trying to keep up with everyone's pronouns?

I work in a company with about 700 people, if each one has a different pronoun or set of pronouns I would be lost in a sea of pronouns.

I'd be up every day on a disciplinary.
Might it be easier on everyone to just not bother unless it's really really important to you.

@Antinerak have you ever been part of an MLM by any chance ? Just that stab at reverse psychology was so clunky and contrived I nearly ordered a C9 aloe vera cleanse and some wax melts

It would materially disadvantage you, by identifying you as a female with the proven workplace discrimination that this brings.

This. There's a fair bit of research around this.

Mandatory pronouns are a bad idea. Our permanent secretary was asked on a department-wide call whether she'd be adding her pronouns to her email signature - before she got to that question, I quickly reminded people that:

1. Not everyone is comfortable sharing their gender identity, which can be quite a private thing;
2. Some people aren't 'out' as trans at work, which means you're forcing them to misgender themselves with every email they write.

Not RTFT but have read the OPs posts.

Are you sure that your work aren't just asking what pronouns you want ie He or She or They? Rather than wanting you to chose from He or She?
I could see it would be helpful to do that?
One of my kids friends uses Them/they/their. I stumbled over the correct pronoun a couple of times at first but I'm used to it now. If they hadn't told
Me what they wanted to be referred as it would have been awkward.

I meant to add - the perm sec has not added her pronouns to her email! And I've noticed that some people have ditched it.

Using it makes you a complete fucking Antinerak.

And yes, every Karen I know is a perfectly lovely person.

And I'm fucked if I'm going to advertise that I'm female in my email signature in my extremely male dominated job thanks. I have enough on my plate.

Not / Relevant

Can you imagine trying to keep up with everyone's pronouns?
I work in a company with about 700 people, if each one has a different pronoun or set of pronouns I would be lost in a sea of pronouns.

I have wondered about that. The sheer number and variety. It is more than enough remembering the names.

In my workplace only the women end up dutifully putting their pronouns and the men ignore it all.

I've never seen a man do it except for an automated text message I received from my GP surgery.

I am completely opposed to the anti-trans sentiment of Mumsnet and believe that TWAW but I am also completely against mandatory pronouns- because is some situations you would be forcing someone to either out themselves as trans before they are ready, or to put pronouns they weren't comfortable with in their email signature and keep their trans identity secret. It's one thing for people to call you he when you're she or whatever - you're usually not around when you're being talked about anyway - it's another thing entirely to have to see it in black and white at the bottom of your email every day.

If my work tried to mandate pronoun announcements in meetings or email signatures I'd bring this point up with them (potentially outing someone who doesn't want to be outed, or forcing them into the closet) and see what they say.

She/him.

If anyone asks your gender fluid: female when the subject and male as the object.

Thank fuck I work in the private sector where nobody gives a damn about any of this ridiculous woke bullshit. We are too busy running a business & making money.

Yanbu