lettuce for fifth birthday

[Franklyfrost]

I asked my partner to pay for and pick up some party food for ds 5th birthday and gave him a list on his phone. He calls me from the supermarket to ask what to buy and I end up reading out the list and adding it all to the online shop and buying it myself to save him from carrying it home. I do this nicely. After reminding him about the list on his phone. He doesn't thank me. We agree he should pick up cake ingredients to save me looking up the recipe.

I'm at home looking after four kids under 11 this week, and he asks me if I've done all my work. He's asked me this every day this week and I've told him every day that I can't do my (academic) work while looking after four children, plus doing house work and cooking. I got annoyed today and said that him asking me makes me feel like I'm failing and I've explained to him it's impossible.

So he's come home with four, brown at the bottom, reduced because the best before date is today, gem lettuces from Tescos. For the party on Sunday. He has to go put again now because he's forgotten to buy the cake ingredients. I can't mention to hime that it's a very weird thing to buy for a fifth birthday party as he would be very offended and I'd be a terrible nag. He's no health freak and they weren't on the list. AIBU to think he's losing the plot?

[Milkbottlelegs]

He’s not lost the plot at all. He’s making sure you never ask him to get things from the shop again.

[bagelsandoranges]

Sorry.. I couldn't help laughing, although can understand the deep frustration. Mine would not be above doing this with some sort of long winded story about how the lettuces were recommended etc.

[Yesitsbess]

I feel the frustration here...but I also laughed quite a lot.

That's such an obvious "I don't want to do things so I will get them wrong and she will never ask me again" that it's almost painful.

[Globaluser]

Er yeah! He sounds like my husband. “Oh my god! I do everything wrong, but don’t tell me off cuz I’ll be offended and then I’ll be like stop always criticising me” SO STOP ALWAYS DOING EVERYTHING WRONG THEN!!!

[AlCalavicci]

I would separate each leaf and stack them on top of each other in a cake shape and dust it with icing sugar and sprinkles and give it to DH on DS's birthday telling DH that you thought he wanted a heathy cake

[Porcupineintherough]

@Milkbottlelegs

He’s not lost the plot at all. He’s making sure you never ask him to get things from the shop again.

^^This. Dont fall for it. Send him out again and refuse to rescue him when he cant work out basic shit fir himself.

[TractorAndHeadphones]

Coward. Call him out on his bullshit.

[AlCalavicci]

Ooooh or may be he thinks that because carrot cake is a real thing that lettuce cake is a thing too ?
Or am I clutching at leaves straws ?

[Franklyfrost]

On closer inspection we already have a gem lettuce in the fridge, so that makes five. Maybe on the cake instead of candles? If I really wanted to be unkind I'd tell my five year old what dad had got him for his party food to show dh what a stupid choice he made.

The worst thing is that I can't laugh about it with him because HE IS ALWAYS RIGHT.

@AlCalavicci I'm not doing that because it sounds tasty and might turn the lettuces into a good idea

@Globaluser sounds familiar. I swing between feeling gaslit and thinking he's a lovely sensitive soul

[cakewench]

Give him a list and send him back.

But also, serve him an enormous pile of lettuce at the party.

[ManxRhyme]

Why has he gone out again? You should have left him with 4 kids and gone to have a restful shopping trip at the supermarket esp at this time of the night. Also stop by McD for a nice hot drink and apple pie on the way back. Buy a ready made cake and a toy your child likes from the supermarket, stick it on. Win.

[MrsSkylerWhite]

Seriously impressed that your birthday boy likes lettuce

[BareVanilla]

Send him back out again. If I my Dh brought home 5 lettuces I would take a picture and post it on Facebook because he would have done it as a joke. He would then go to the car to get cake ingredients and probably a million party biscuits - just in case.

[IndiaDreaming]

Pretend useless. Lettuce soup is actually quite nice.

[youvegottenminuteslynn]

The worst thing is that I can't laugh about it with him because HE IS ALWAYS RIGHT.

I realise this was meant to be a light hearted thread so feel free to ignore me but bloody hell, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone like that?! Bleurgh.

[EmbarrassingAdmissions]

It's known as strategic incompetence.

It's very effective.

[goodwinter]

Did you ask him "why the fuck did you buy lettuce instead of cake ingredients?" What did he say when he presented them to you?

[Pumpkinstace]

I thought this was going to be asking if a lettuce was an odd present for a 5 Yr old that loves lettuce.

I opened it to tell you that my 7yr old had asked santa for (and received) a watermelon on the past 4 Christmas lists.

Might as well still give it a mention.

[cookingisoverrated]

He sounds like a gaslighting jackass. What do you see in him?

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Who makes food? Strategically you need him onside for the party. I presume the children will be at school next week. I’d be tempted to keep them in the fridge. Then hide them so he can’t throw them away then serve him one for dinner every evening next week whilst you tuck into something else.

[NotJuryDutyAgain]

This is baffling... I can't understand how someone could forget they were shopping for cake-making ingredients for their child's birthday coming up in just a couple of days. That's not mere incompetence, that's bizarre.

[Regularsizedrudy]

I know these threads are meant to be lighthearted but they just make me so depressed. I’d rather never have sex again than spend my life with this kind of cretin

[Takeoutyourhen]

There is no fun to be had spending time with someone who thinks they are right all the time. Lettuces though?

[CyclingIsNotOuting]

@goodwinter

Did you ask him "why the fuck did you buy lettuce instead of cake ingredients?" What did he say when he presented them to you?

This 👆

[SylvanasWindrunner]

Strategic incompetence, but he wasn't even subtle about it!