Advanced search

Verbally attacked for not wearing a mask

(975 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

8catsaremycoven Wed 21-Oct-20 20:24:50

Wow, had a great experience in Lidl today - I was verbally abused and intimidated by a bloke in his 40s for not wearing a mask.

I'm minding my own business, choosing some fruit for DHS when random angry bloke walks past and hisses "You should be wearing a mask ". He doesn't stop and ask me directly why I'm not wearing a mask, just walks past me and says it in an undertone.

I catch up with him because he's browsing and tell him I'm exempt because I'm asthmatic. Apparently anyone can claim to be exempt and it's my personal fault that people are dying?! I told him that I wished that I was able to wear a mask to protect myself if nothing else, he just carried on ranting at me. No security guards in the store, other shoppers just stood and watched. I ended up crying in frustration and walking away.

I can't wear a mask because of my asthma but I also suffer from PTSD because an XH put a pillow over my face and raped me.

Am I expected to explain everything to anyone?

YABU - get over everything, risk a major asthma attack and wear a mask

YANBU - asthma is enough to excuse me from wearing a mask let alone my other reasons, which I don't feel I should have to explain to anyone

Bring it on, I'm sure someone is going to roast me but I truly hope that you're going to be behind me.

I left the shop shaking and in tears

OP’s posts: |
marchez Wed 21-Oct-20 20:26:20

That guy is an arsehole, simple as that

SchrodingersImmigrant Wed 21-Oct-20 20:27:50

Why would someone roast you. If you have legitimate reasons, you have legitimate reasons🤷🏻

Next time just don't engage

TheAugury Wed 21-Oct-20 20:30:05

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

lovellost Wed 21-Oct-20 20:30:33

Sorry for what happened to you . Ignore him and everyone else that doubts you . Some people like to take their frustrations out on others

WitchesSpelleas Wed 21-Oct-20 20:31:06

He's an arsehole.

8catsaremycoven Wed 21-Oct-20 20:31:57

@TheAugury I'm glad you're able to wear a mask, I wish I was. It's not one size fits all is it?

OP’s posts: |
MrsTerryPratchett Wed 21-Oct-20 20:32:17


I'm asthmatic and wear a mask yabu

Did you read the whole post? Because if you did, shame on you. Shame shame shame.

OP, crack on. And don't bother educating men like this. You aren't the Arsehole Whisperer.

justanotherneighinparadise Wed 21-Oct-20 20:32:28

Visor? Scarf up over your mouth. Just look like you e made some sort of effort and most people will leave you alone.

StormzyInaDCup Wed 21-Oct-20 20:33:22

Wear a lanyard.. I've been accosted for not wearing a mask to the point I've worn one, but I find wearing my card around a lanyard helps a lot.

In all honesty, it works both ways. I sympathise with you, it's horrible when this happens. However, as a friend pointed out to me today. What if that person's lost someone to covid? You just don't know everyones circumstances. You need to be kind too.

dementedpixie Wed 21-Oct-20 20:34:21

I wouldn't have gone up to him and engaged him in conversation. Next time just ignore

vodkaredbullgirl Wed 21-Oct-20 20:34:34

You dont have to explain why you dont wear one.

PanamaPattie Wed 21-Oct-20 20:34:39

If you go out without wearing a mask, you are going to come across people who won't see your hidden disability- they see someone who isn't wearing a mask and they may react in an aggressive manner. This is the risk you take by not wearing one. Front it out but don't engage.

How will you manage in future with some retailers using face recognition software on their doors and not allowing anyone in (by not opening the automatic door) not wearing a mask?

dementedpixie Wed 21-Oct-20 20:35:05

And yes, try a sunflower lanyard

Calic0 Wed 21-Oct-20 20:35:41

I think, OP, a lot of feelings are running very high at the moment. Yes, the guy was an idiot. But why did you go after him and attempt to explain yourself?

It’s shit you have to put up with comments when you’re shopping. But you could have walked away and not engaged with the bloke.

It’s equally shit that lots of us are wearing masks even though we hate them and find them very uncomfortable just not to the extent it makes us medically exempt.

I kind of feel at the moment that we all have to put up with a bit of shit, just the exact form it takes may vary.

WitchesSpelleas Wed 21-Oct-20 20:35:45

TheAugury I think you need to go back and read the whole of the OP's post.

But in any event, asthma doesn't just come in one degree of severity.

MandosHatHair Wed 21-Oct-20 20:36:07

If you were a big burly bloke I bet he wouldn't have breathed a word to you, he just saw an opportunity to be a dick to a woman.

cunningartificer Wed 21-Oct-20 20:36:39

From what you say, he commented in passing, in an undertone, not directly to you, but you then pursued him to argue. You don’t need to explain yourself to him if you’re confident about your reasons. Most supermarkets regularly have announcements to explain not everyone can wear a mask, so no need to confront him really, then you could have avoided the extra stress of that conversation.

RedSoloCup Wed 21-Oct-20 20:36:42

I work in a pub and if people say they are exempt I just leave it there, none of my business I'm not the police....

MandosHatHair Wed 21-Oct-20 20:36:45

Good on you for calling him out.

TheAugury Wed 21-Oct-20 20:37:20

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

NoAngel1 Wed 21-Oct-20 20:37:23

Hi OP. Of course YANBU. Don’t try to engage anyone in conversation about this again though. People are on edge and anxious and they can’t understand that some people are exempt and are unlikely to care, even if you tell them the truth.

SecretSpAD Wed 21-Oct-20 20:37:42

I'm asthmatic and wear a mask yabu

Oh there's always one.
Im also asthmatic and can't wear a mask.

OP you do not have to explain to random arseholes in supermarkets. Just have your exemption card or lanyard to show shop staff. Good luck.

Ughmaybenot Wed 21-Oct-20 20:37:43

If you can’t, you can’t, but honestly it was a daft move going after him to reason with him. He was clearly a prat, what did you think you were going to achieve, other than a set to in the chilled aisle?

Elsiebear90 Wed 21-Oct-20 20:38:32

Could you wear a visor?

You have very valid reasons for not wearing a mask, and the guy was an arsehole, but a visor would be better than nothing.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in