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Original poster

Verbally attacked for not wearing a mask

977 replies

8catsaremycoven · 21/10/2020 20:24

Wow, had a great experience in Lidl today - I was verbally abused and intimidated by a bloke in his 40s for not wearing a mask.

I'm minding my own business, choosing some fruit for DHS when random angry bloke walks past and hisses "You should be wearing a mask ". He doesn't stop and ask me directly why I'm not wearing a mask, just walks past me and says it in an undertone.

I catch up with him because he's browsing and tell him I'm exempt because I'm asthmatic. Apparently anyone can claim to be exempt and it's my personal fault that people are dying?! I told him that I wished that I was able to wear a mask to protect myself if nothing else, he just carried on ranting at me. No security guards in the store, other shoppers just stood and watched. I ended up crying in frustration and walking away.

I can't wear a mask because of my asthma but I also suffer from PTSD because an XH put a pillow over my face and raped me.

Am I expected to explain everything to anyone?

YABU - get over everything, risk a major asthma attack and wear a mask

YANBU - asthma is enough to excuse me from wearing a mask let alone my other reasons, which I don't feel I should have to explain to anyone

Bring it on, I'm sure someone is going to roast me but I truly hope that you're going to be behind me.

I left the shop shaking and in tears

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
BlueThistles · 21/10/2020 21:47

Social distancing, hand washing and not being a dick.

Some people seem to think masks stop the need for the rest of it. Social distancing is probably the most important factor

So are Masks pointless ? or they are needed alongside hand washing, and social distancing? and as the government suggests, there can be exemptions, then they're not really necessary right? we stick to social distancing and hand washing.

ddl1 · 21/10/2020 21:47

What about people who cannot wear masks? There are genuine medical exceptions.

How do you stop the spread of an infection when only some of society wears a mask

There are only relatively few people who cannot wear masks, and I don't think they are the major causes of spread. Just as the relatively few people who can't be vaccinated aren't the major cause of spread of vaccine-preventable diseases.

Those who won't wear masks because 'the government won't make me wear a muzzle!' or ignore instructions about social distancing, or insist on organizing big social events and parties and perhaps even try to emotionally blackmail others into attending, or never bother to wash their hands, are all bigger sources of spread.

WiseUpJanetWeiss · 21/10/2020 21:47
  • asymptomatic, not “a symptomatic”. Stupid autocorrect.
FatimaMunchy · 21/10/2020 21:48

Asthma UK and Mind both say people should try to find a mask that they can tolerate. Mind say that if you experience extreme symptoms then you do not need to wear one. So the conclusion is that it is not just your symptoms (I am asthmatic and wear a mask) but the severity of your symptoms. In your case OP the reason for not wearing a mask is actually PTSD. I agree that you do not want to explain this to every random stranger, so wearing a lanyard seems your best option.
It is possible that the rude stranger was autistic. My DS is so focused on the rule that you have to wear a mask that he keeps talking about it. Ironically autistic people can claim exemption, but he wears a mask, so in his mind everyone else must. He is an adult, and I could imagine him feeling it is his duty to tell people to wear a mask.

BlueThistles · 21/10/2020 21:48

YANBU one of my choldren is asthmatic and has tried repeatedly to wear a mask and can't.

Your Child should not be wearing a mask. Flowers

TicTacTwo · 21/10/2020 21:48

Yanbu to be maskless but yabu to assume that the Covid Police would change his mind after you told him that you were exempt. He is right that are a lot of people falsely claiming exemptions and I suspect asthma is the most commonly used reason.

I wonder if he would have approached you if you wore it around your chin? I see that a lot in shops and it makes you wonder why they'd do that?

CarrotCakeCrumbs · 21/10/2020 21:49

@Fgs1 except she is exempt. The government guidelines state that any one suffering mental illness that may cause the wearer severe distress is exempt. PTSD falls under that description. A full blown panic attack is very different from being slightly uncomfortable (which is the case for the majority of people).

Primadonna1 · 21/10/2020 21:50

Why not just wear one of those clear visors ?

FractionalGains · 21/10/2020 21:50

@Fgs1

Wear a lanyard or get online deliveries. We’re in a pandemic, it’s a law to wear a mask. You’re not exempt. None of us love it. Many find it hard but suck it up. So you’re basically asking for trouble waltzing around mask free and then running round after someone spraying your droplets on them because they muttered something. And then getting all offended about it and making a thread. Pathetic ❄️
This post is really unpleasant.

Who reads about someone having PTSD from a violent rape then decides to call them “pathetic” and tell them to “suck it up”?

It’s also not law to wear a mask if you have a valid exemption.

R1R2 · 21/10/2020 21:51

More irritated by the clowns with it under their nose makes me want to twang it back into their face.

Fgs1 · 21/10/2020 21:52

She never mentioned anything about a fully blown panic attack. And does that also stop her wearing a visor or a lanyard Hmm

SomeoneTellBorisHeHasDandruff · 21/10/2020 21:52

Hi OP,

I am very sorry to hear about your awful past experience and PTSD.
Also, Asthma is a serious illness for many people and I find some people dismiss it far too easily.

You should not have to justify yourself to anyone and these unofficial mask police make my blood boil. That man was ignorant plain and simple. One day he will likely meet someone who will do more than politely put him straight and he’ll end up on his arse.

For those people saying wear a visor or have a loose scarf around your face, have you actually read the OP’s original post and subsequent post?? It beggars belief how obtuse and unsympathetic some posters can be. The OP is exempt for two very valid reasons, end of story.

SheepandCow · 21/10/2020 21:53

Violent aggressive people are awful full stop. It happens on both sides of the issue. I read earlier today about a man attacking a woman on a bus. For non aggressively mentioning him not wearing a mask. Can't remember where I read it.

Meanwhile I remember reading about this terrible assault a month ago.
An NHS worker was violently attacked simply for moving away from a maskless man. Poor guy didn't even say anything.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/london-bus-attack-nhs-worker-test-trace-face-mask-coronavirus-b479498.html%3famp

lemonsandlimes123 · 21/10/2020 21:53

This reply has been deleted

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modernmystery · 21/10/2020 21:57

OP I understand your indignation and the need to run after someone to argue or explain, but don’t do it again.

Fajitanita · 21/10/2020 22:00

Yes he was being ridiculously unreasonable and sorry to hear that OP, hope you're okay now, and it can take a little while to shake when something like that happens, can't it.

Joeblack066 · 21/10/2020 22:00

You do not have to explain yourself. Don’t engage. Maybe get a sunflower lanyard if you feel people may respect that more? But no, you do not have to explain yourself.

zen1 · 21/10/2020 22:00

YANBU. You are under no obligation to justify to anyone why you cannot wear a mask. Neither do you have to wear a lanyard. I’m sick of people getting grief for this.

Choccylips · 21/10/2020 22:02

I shouldn't lose any sleep over him or any one else like him. You know your reason for not wearing one treat him with the contempt he deserves.

SomeoneTellBorisHeHasDandruff · 21/10/2020 22:03

@Fgs1

She never mentioned anything about a fully blown panic attack. And does that also stop her wearing a visor or a lanyard Hmm
@Fgs1 - Just in case you couldn’t be bothered to read through OP’s first post I have highlighted this very upsetting reason why she can’t cover her face with anything, a mask, a visor, anything. (Also stated in Op’s later post). What is wrong with you Fgs1? Do you have no compassion whatsoever?

I can't wear a mask because of my asthma but I also suffer from PTSD because an XH put a pillow over my face and raped me.

MushMonster · 21/10/2020 22:03

Yes OP, you are exemped, so do not wear it, but if anyone says anything in similar fashion to this guy just let it go.
Genuine question, I do not have any issues with people who cannot wear masks not wearing them, and not wearing face coverings, but what about the clear visors? Is this something that you could wear? We have them at work, and they are better than the masks when it comes to ease of breathing

Bowerbird5 · 21/10/2020 22:03

I’m asthmatic and I wear a mask but I really struggle after a while. I find the cotton ones slightly better. The polyester ones are awful and make me wheezy in no time.
Good for you OP for calling him out. I start coughing and then feel I must justify by explaining it is asthma not Covid. An assistant in Dunelm said I needn’t wear a mask as they have exemption stickers. Why can’t more shops do that?

Why can’t we be more understanding and kind to people at the moment it costs nothing.

myhumps123 · 21/10/2020 22:05

Yes we are in a pandemic and it's so great to see people turning on each other. Hmm 'You protect me and I protect you' bollocks is really grating on me. The OP cannot wear a mask on. End of. No one should challenge her. People are so scared of being infected by coronavirus, (even though for the vast majority it is a mild illness), that ordinary people think it's perfectly normal to be aggressive towards non mask wearers.
I go out alot to shops, shopping centre, the vast majority wear masks on, some have flimsy masks on that would do fuck all, but hey, as long as they are looking to play the part, it's ok.
Wake up and smell the coffee, there is no guarantee that a vaccine is going to work. To put in simple terms we will have to learn to live with the virus just like a lot of other viruses.
Use your aggression towards the government who are ruining the future of the younger generation, businesses going under, people losing livilhoods, suicide, depression, young people dying of cancer because they cannot get treatment, but non mask wearers seem to be an easy target for bullies who seem to think they are responsible for all the shit stuff that is going on at the moment.

FractionalGains · 21/10/2020 22:05

@lemonsandlimes123

What treatment are you receiving from the MH professional who diagnosed the PTSD and subsequent need for exemption? I would hope that they are working with you to help you develop strategies to manage your PTSD as mask wearing is going to be around for a fair while.
I can’t work out if this is a passive aggressive suggestion that if the OP isn’t currently receiving treatment then she is somehow making it up or her reasons aren’t valid