Verbally attacked for not wearing a mask

[8catsaremycoven]

Wow, had a great experience in Lidl today - I was verbally abused and intimidated by a bloke in his 40s for not wearing a mask.

I'm minding my own business, choosing some fruit for DHS when random angry bloke walks past and hisses "You should be wearing a mask ". He doesn't stop and ask me directly why I'm not wearing a mask, just walks past me and says it in an undertone.

I catch up with him because he's browsing and tell him I'm exempt because I'm asthmatic. Apparently anyone can claim to be exempt and it's my personal fault that people are dying?! I told him that I wished that I was able to wear a mask to protect myself if nothing else, he just carried on ranting at me. No security guards in the store, other shoppers just stood and watched. I ended up crying in frustration and walking away.

I can't wear a mask because of my asthma but I also suffer from PTSD because an XH put a pillow over my face and raped me.

Am I expected to explain everything to anyone?

YABU - get over everything, risk a major asthma attack and wear a mask

YANBU - asthma is enough to excuse me from wearing a mask let alone my other reasons, which I don't feel I should have to explain to anyone

Bring it on, I'm sure someone is going to roast me but I truly hope that you're going to be behind me.

I left the shop shaking and in tears

Best not to chase after idiots like him op.

If i see someone without a mask, they are either exempt or an arsehole, either way, i give them a wide swerve. To be honest, i think most of the people i see are exempt, although i find it odd when a whole family is out not wearing masks (not kids)

and to the arsehole above saying they are asthmatic and can wear a mask, me too, but i know that some people have worse asthma than me.... its not fucking rocket science.

It might be easier in future to get the sunflower lanyard, to cut off arseholes in the future? Yes, you shouldnt have to, and you dont have to, but it just might make things easier

Wear a visor, a scarf or a lanyard. Or expect people to say something. Your reason is PTSD. Asthma is not a reason not to wear a mask. I sympathise but as a chronic asthmatic myself and also in a couple of other high risk groups would be very miffed to see you unmasked in a supermarket therefore increasing my risk. Not that I'd say anything.

@BlueThistles

What about people who cannot wear masks? There are genuine medical exceptions.

How do you stop the spread of an infection when only some of society wears a mask ?

Social distancing, hand washing and not being a dick. Some people seem to think masks stop the need for the rest of it. Social distancing is probably the most important factor.

I have PTSD. I wear a lanyard and most people leave me alone, but one women did accost me in Tesco recently. I just told her that I'd been raped by a man who had covered my nose and mouth and put his hand around my throat as he fucked me and squeezed until I blacked out and since then I've not been able to cope with my mouth being covered. Was that OK with her?

She looked freaked out and ran away.

And if someone confronts me again, I'll do the same. If they want to start an uncomfortable conversation, I'll lean right in.

For what it's worth, I have tried to wear a mask. Repeatedly. I gave up after the fourth full blown meltdown panic attack. If shops bring in facial recognition software that doesn't let non mask users in, I guess I'll stay home and starve.

I'd also as an asthmatic like to recommend face brackets from Amazon - I can now wear my mask at school all day. Obviously doesn't help with PTSD x

Wear a visor, a scarf or a lanyard. Or expect people to say something

Actually I don't expect people to say anything. They can think it, they can say it to their companion if they have one. But they shouldn't say it to the unmasked person.
Either: Person has a medical issue, not their business. Or, they are an arsehole who doesn't care, and the interaction won't end in them donning a mask, so it's pointless

Sorry you had to experience this.

The guy sounds like an utter arsehole.

It’s not your job to educate idiots so in the future I would either ignore (hard I know) or give them a solid “I have a medical exemption so fuck off and mind your own business”.

The MAJORITY of people are not wankers, the majority of people wouldn’t dream of approaching you or making comment. But there are twats in the world and unfortunately covid is making them louder and more twatish than normal.

YANBU for being upset but try to move past it and don’t let it scare you into wearing a mask when you physically struggle or into being scared when you’re not wearing one.

@Nacreous

I just don't think people going round stating things like your asmtha has to be severe enough for you to need oxygen in order to not wear a mask are helping anyone.

I have moderate asthma. I wear a mask most of the time, but sometimes when I am having a bad day mask wearing will trigger an asthma attack. Pollen and dust can also trigger asthma attacks and neither of those "reduce your oxygen". If I am feeling okay I wear one, but if I get wheezy it comes off. You don't get to decide what does and doesn't cause other people problems. Who gains from saying stuff like that?

I agree, and I think the problem is lack of understanding about asthma / empathy. Yes, most (not all) asthmatics can wear a mask provided their condition is stable (no exacerbation). But some have other conditions such a PTSD or claustrophobia that would make mask wearing very difficult.

@user1493..... So what if she has posted about her problems before? What's your point?

I was reading a document from the WHO which says that fabric masks (unlike medical ones) cause issues with breathing. Which is a consideration they say governments should make when mandating their use by the general public.

www.who.int/publications/i/item/advice-on-the-use-of-masks-in-the-community-during-home-care-and-in-healthcare-settings-in-the-context-of-the-novel-coronavirus-(2019-ncov)-outbreak

Same document says that non-medical masks are only useful to protect others from you if you have mild symptoms/ asymptomatic.

Wear a ‘mask exempt’ lanyard. I got my son one. Never been bothered by anyone.

@NameChange9824

I’m sorry for what you’ve been through.

I applaud you for putting that nosey arsehole in their place.

Your post has made me decide that If I see or hear any of these types of confrontations I am going to interject (If I can). Hate the thought of someone being confronted with absolutely no consideration or empathy and being left shaken, upset and isolated

One great thing I have found about getting older is that I no longer feel that I need to explain my personal choices to strangers. I have no idea if you are being reasonable or not in not wearing a mask as I don´t know you, but YABU for thinking you need to explain your choice to some random guy in a shop. Next time someone comments on your personal choices without you asking them to, either ignore or tell them to fuck off and/or mind their own business.

YANBU but there are three threads like this a day...

YANBU. If you're exempt, you're exempt. And as others have said, he probably wouldn't have done the same to a man bigger than he was.

However, it was IMO unwise - if brave - of you to go after him to confront him.

@Happyhippy99

You need to wear a visor if you really can’t wear a mask. You’re doing this to protect others. It’s not all about you !

And how the cluck is a visor going to protect others? Give me a break, are people this stupid?!?

Of course it's unreasonable behaviour. Why do you need to ask?

YANBU to not wear a mask, you have valid reasons and that is no one else's business. If people cannot handle that sometimes there maybe individuals not wearing masks then I suggest they don't go out. You can't ask those who can't wear masks to stay at home, and if you have an issue with it, you stay home

People can be exempt for medical reasons, yes sometimes people just don't want to; I'm hoping those are few and far between. It's not my place to judge someone for not wearing their mask, I wear mine and social distance.

I would suggest a lanyard as others have said though, point to it if someone says something, if they still talk just tell them to fuck off

YANBU one of my choldren is asthmatic and has tried repeatedly to wear a mask and can't. Breatjing is npt negotiable, if ypu xannot wrar a mask don't.

Same document says that non-medical masks are only useful to protect others from you if you have mild symptoms/ asymptomatic.

Well yes, exactly. That’s why a symptomatic people should wear them (if they can) and symptomatic people should stay at home.