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To think a UK size 16-18 is not curvy but fat?

(542 Posts)
GymGirl23 Mon 08-Jun-20 17:25:35

Yes I know some will probably flame me for using the word fat but I'm concerned about some family members. The Mum is 5ft 4" with 3 daughters aged betwen 18 and 22 who are all a similar height. She and the eldest both take medication for High BP and the other 2 daughters are also heading that way.

The Mum said a while ago that it was 'great' they could swap clothes as they're all now a size 16-18! What bugs me is they are totally clueless about health topics and diet and the Mum has fed the girls crap diets all of their lives high in salt, fat and sugar. Even when they cook at home it's high in fat and sugar with huge portions! The worst part is she buries her head in the sand saying they're luckily not a fat family but are all just curvy girls and that it runs in the family along with High BP! The fact is they are all FAT and it's self inflicted and unfair on themselves. The girls are huge now with double chins and have no waists but hey they take great care with makeup, tan, hair and nails so that makes it OK then? Why can't they see what they're doing to themselves? My Mum says I shouldn't offer them advice as they get very offended if anyone ever suggested they were even slightly overweight but I would like to help them as I know alot about nutrition and keeping fit.

Are people who are that size truly happy with how they look and feel and do they believe they're not fat but have curves instead?

OP’s posts: |
FOJN Mon 08-Jun-20 17:28:59

The are all adults and whatever your personal opinions or concerns for them I don't think you should offer unsolicited advice.

Chandler12 Mon 08-Jun-20 17:30:35

How does this affect you?

NurseButtercup Mon 08-Jun-20 17:31:36

My Mum says I shouldn't offer them advice as they get very offended if anyone ever suggested they were even slightly overweight but I would like to help them as I know alot about nutrition and keeping fit.

Please listen to your mum.

Shallow07 Mon 08-Jun-20 17:31:54

Your contempt for those young women oozes out of your post, OP. They won't want your advice, it's probably fairly obvious what you think of them anyway.

Howmuchlongercanthislast Mon 08-Jun-20 17:32:41

but I'm concerned about some family members.

Concerned people take action to help
Bitchy people post about it in derogatory terms on the internet.

Mylittlepony374 Mon 08-Jun-20 17:32:54

Not your place to offer advice. You will come off badly, no matter how you do it. I'm that size, I know I'm fat, I also know what I need to do to not be. I don't need unsolicited advice and I guarantee you it won't go well if you offer it to them.

autumnboys Mon 08-Jun-20 17:32:57

Without a doubt, they know. Keep out of their business.

ScarfLadysBag Mon 08-Jun-20 17:33:44

Posted by 'GymGirl'...

Yeah you don't actually care about helping these people.

userabcname Mon 08-Jun-20 17:34:10

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

justjessie Mon 08-Jun-20 17:34:30

They know.
They don't want your nutritional advice otherwise they'd ask for it.

LochJessMonster Mon 08-Jun-20 17:34:33

Yes size 16-18 is usually overweight but there is no point telling them.

Iwalkinmyclothing Mon 08-Jun-20 17:34:56

I'm sure they're a lot happier with themselves than you are: IME only people aware that there is something really lacking in them as a person are as spiteful as you are being here.

RumpyTurman Mon 08-Jun-20 17:35:07

YANBU and I say that as someone who has just dropped from a 20 to an 18. I'm not curvy, I'm 'curvy' at a size 12 to 14. At the moment I am fat.

AuntHilda Mon 08-Jun-20 17:35:11

Are people who are that size truly happy with how they look and feel and do they believe they're not fat but have curves instead?

Ok I'll bite. I am a size 20. Yes I know I'm fat. I know the risks. I'm the classic yo yo dieter getting fatter every time. I'm a binge eater. Fat is complicated for lots of people. BUT despite being fat, I'm quite confident and happy with the way I look. So yes it is possible to be truly happy with the way you look at a larger size, believe it or not.

Why does it bother you so much anyway?

Clymene Mon 08-Jun-20 17:35:26

cake have a bit of cake OP. You look like you could do with sweetening up

amijustparanoidorjuststoned Mon 08-Jun-20 17:35:41

Their weight and health is none of your business, to be frank.

"But I'm just worried about their health" is sugar coating being fatphobic.

I'm 5'2 and a size 12/14 - my BMI would put me in the overweight category yet I ran 5k this morning without stopping. Some of my thinner friends can't even make it down the road without gasping for breath.

To summarise: other people's weight doesn't define their health. You're just being fatphobic and judgemental. YABVU.

Chiyo666 Mon 08-Jun-20 17:36:06

Depends. My friend is a 16 and I was really shocked as she doesn’t look that big at all. She’s fairly tall though. Very curvy.

Justwalkyourfineassoutthedoor Mon 08-Jun-20 17:36:14

I agree with the poster above. It is not your place to offer unsolicited advice.

Also I'm a size 16 and totally happy at this size. I eat well and exercise daily, I can run a half marathon (building up to a full one!) My clothes size has no relevance to my health or my happiness. Skinny people can be unhealthy, but I'm sure you wouldn't try and offer advise to someone who was a size 6/8 would you?

HavelockVetinari Mon 08-Jun-20 17:36:18

I wouldn't offer advice, it won't go well - they KNOW they're fat and unhealthy, it doesn't need to be pointed out. The stuff the mum says about being "curvy" etc. is a front.

That said, YANBU - the mum is at fault for giving her daughters a terrible diet and letting them reap the health consequences. It's akin to abuse in my opinion.

SunbathingDragon Mon 08-Jun-20 17:37:01

What a spiteful post.

vodkaredbullgirl Mon 08-Jun-20 17:37:27

biscuit

Irishprincess Mon 08-Jun-20 17:37:46

Tbh the daughters may not know about healthy eating habits if brought up with bad habits but I'm sure they're aware they're overweight. There's nothing wrong with say inviting a friend to join you to an exercise class but to just give advice they will probably find offensive

SeasonFinale Mon 08-Jun-20 17:38:04

Yep - fat shaming at its usual bitchy level.

Leave them alone.

Fallpoetry Mon 08-Jun-20 17:38:11

Surely this is a troll? A clearly judgemental post on an infamously sensitive topic calling the UK average dress size for women fat, on a predominantly female forum. Perfect formula to cause upset.

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