To think a UK size 16-18 is not curvy but fat?

[GymGirl23]

Yes I know some will probably flame me for using the word fat but I'm concerned about some family members. The Mum is 5ft 4" with 3 daughters aged betwen 18 and 22 who are all a similar height. She and the eldest both take medication for High BP and the other 2 daughters are also heading that way.

The Mum said a while ago that it was 'great' they could swap clothes as they're all now a size 16-18! What bugs me is they are totally clueless about health topics and diet and the Mum has fed the girls crap diets all of their lives high in salt, fat and sugar. Even when they cook at home it's high in fat and sugar with huge portions! The worst part is she buries her head in the sand saying they're luckily not a fat family but are all just curvy girls and that it runs in the family along with High BP! The fact is they are all FAT and it's self inflicted and unfair on themselves. The girls are huge now with double chins and have no waists but hey they take great care with makeup, tan, hair and nails so that makes it OK then? Why can't they see what they're doing to themselves? My Mum says I shouldn't offer them advice as they get very offended if anyone ever suggested they were even slightly overweight but I would like to help them as I know alot about nutrition and keeping fit.

Are people who are that size truly happy with how they look and feel and do they believe they're not fat but have curves instead?

[Msmcc1212]

The link works but you can’t read the labels but it still illustrates the immensely complex causal factors implicated.

[Msmcc1212]

debategraph.org/Handler.ashx?path=ROOT%252fu23%252fObesity_System_Map.JPG

Not sure if this link will work but it’s a diagram that shows the various factors implicated in the development of obesity. They are MANY, with various relationships between each causal factor. If the link doesn’t work google ‘obesity causes diagram’.

It’s a HUGELY complex issue and not as simple as personal choice. Judging and shaming are never helpful.

We all could be healthier or could work on ourselves in differing ways. No one is perfect.

As well as support for individuals there needs to be a wholesale change in how food is manufactured, marketed and sold. It can’t be left up to individuals when the food industry has such weakly regulated but immensely powerful tools at its disposal.

[TheSingingKettle49]

So I’m 5’10” a 16-18 and large build, and I’m overweight, at a 14 I’d be curvy and at a 10 I look emaciated.

However, this family are none of your concern and you should not offer them any advice.

[Sweetlikecoca]

@Wauden

The UK has a terrible obesity problem which accounts for heart problems, diabetes and depression.

It’s true. People would rather bury their heads in the sand. I say this as someone who is not skinny by any means. There’s no point dressing up a size 16/18 to be okay for a young girl at 5ft 4. No matter how well you dress or carry your weight.

It is what it is. This is not a competition that we should be like well she’s a size 12 and smokes but she who is a size 16 doesn’t sunbathe all day.

Honestly I’ve heard it all now

[ArtieFufkinPolymerRecords]

Husband and I have different frames.2 out of our 3 look like him, slim/willowy.one looks like me, East German shot putter. We have same physical life style/diet. There is definitely a sturdy gene versus the wispy version

We can acknowledge that some people have more slight or broader builds, but you can be either of those builds and not have any excess fat on you.

[Wauden]

The UK has a terrible obesity problem which accounts for heart problems, diabetes and depression.

[duletty]

@SomethingOnce

Big boned doesn't exist

I’m big boned. I genuinely do have a chunky skeleton, clear from wrist measurement. My DD, otoh, has fine bones from the paternal line. At matched height (and assuming same muscle mass) she would be ‘fatter’ than me at any given weight.

Husband and I have different frames.2 out of our 3 look like him, slim/willowy.one looks like me, East German shot putter. We have same physical life style/diet. There is definitely a sturdy gene versus the wispy version

[DorsetCamping]

Well said @TheCanterburyWhales

[SomethingOnce]

Big boned doesn't exist

I’m big boned. I genuinely do have a chunky skeleton, clear from wrist measurement. My DD, otoh, has fine bones from the paternal line. At matched height (and assuming same muscle mass) she would be ‘fatter’ than me at any given weight.

[squiffyseesaw]

Pertinent to this thread


twitter.com/marthedeferrer/status/1270629125506637825?s=21

[Yeahnahmum]

Big boned doesn't exist and yes they are fat especially at their height.

But it looks like they wouldn't be open to disscuss it. So don't bring it up unless they do and then come with great tips

[AMemeByAnyOtherName]

@TheCanterburyWhales none of this is about altruism (if that even exists), even a good old virtue signalling post would have been better received than this bunch of drivel. I actually haven't seen many posts on this thread, if any, that suggest that being overweight is fine. I personally am a huge advocate for maintaining a healthy weight, I proudly dropped several dress sizes in my early 20s and have remained a size 8/10 ever since. I didn't make the decision to do that because some random told me I had too many chins for makeup.

When you report this post, make sure you mention that I have offended your fundamental beliefs or somehow been bigoted, that should yield better results.

[SpongeBobJudgeyPants]

Canterbury you are right about the wider obesity debate. However, the OP hasn't approached it from that angle at all, just a mean-spirited body shaming one, not very well disguised as 'concern'

[TheCanterburyWhales]

It's a shame that threads about the obesity problem in the UK always seem to degenerate into a slanging match. Because it is a massive problem and it causes incredible problems both on individuals and the NHS.
That's a fact. And whatever the causes, we do ourselves and our children no favours by pretending it's OK.
And, as I said upthread, I speak as someone with about 3 stone to shed. I know I'm not as healthy as I was before I became overweight. I know I don't look as good in my size 18 as I did in my 12 or even 14.

Leaving out the OP, whose aims in starting the thread may or may not have been altruistic.

It's plain disingenuous to say that being overweight is fine.

[GinDaddyRedux]

I didn't get "they don't deserve it" from her post.

I think somewhere in the mildly provocative and slightly punchy language, is an interesting argument around how makeup, Instagram effects, etc have become the go-to for huge swathes of people, above and beyond basic fitness and being in a positive relationship with weight and food.

But like you said, is it her place to say any of this?! I think not.

[dobbyssoc]

@GinDaddyRedux However at what point (and this is a genuine question!) does body positivity become full denial of health risks? The OP is clearly getting a flaming for their "concern" and perhaps this is to be expected, but when does someone who is overweight or obese, get to that realisation without help?

OP has stated that one of the people she is 'concerned' about is in the process of being diagnosed with diabetes if this is true then the GP and dietician will be best placed to advise. Not OP who sounds awful.

Did you read her OP fully. The whole if your fat what's the point in wearing makeup and nice clothes because you don't deserve it.

[Gwenhwyfar]

" Or should we as a society stop pushing for everyone to be within an 6-14 scale of dress sizes, and just recalibrate our thinking completely around bodies?"

Should we stop encouraging people to stop smoking then?
I thought there had been a slight drop in child obesity, so maybe change is possible.

[AMemeByAnyOtherName]

@GinDaddyRedux how on earth have you come to the conclusion that OP is getting a flaming for her 'concern'?

She has been nothing but patronising, conceited and insulting throughout the entire thread.

If the OP was simply worried about the health risks associated with being overweight or being a large dress size, that would have been very clear in the language used.

Insinuating that 'fat people shouldn't wear make up or nice clothes', calling people 'fat' for disagreeing, suggesting that one poster is wrong because 'obesity is clouding her judgement' - what more do you need to see to realise this is just bordering on abusive. If your partner told you that your weight was clouding your judgement or you should put down that dress at the shop because you're too big to deserve it, that would be a subject for a whole other thread and I'm sure you know what the advice would be there.

A subject like this could be a topic for a very healthy and eye opening debate. Sadly this particular poster hasn't presented anyone with that opportunity, instead making it all about herself and hoping that posters will ignore the malicious statements made so that she will see more people agreeing with her. This has been set up to fail from the start.

[EmeraldShamrock]

@Lollypop4 I agree around obese DC it is very cruel. If an adult wants to over eat unhealthy food fine it is their choice. A few of the young preteen and younger boys have boobs and rolls clearly visible under their T-shirt.

[GinDaddyRedux]

Here's the thing about these weight threads that seems to always end in the same stalemate:

There's an important need for those like the OP's "Mum & daughters" in the subject thread, to have body positivity. They need to be able to wake up in the morning and love themselves. This is key.

However at what point (and this is a genuine question!) does body positivity become full denial of health risks? The OP is clearly getting a flaming for their "concern" and perhaps this is to be expected, but when does someone who is overweight or obese, get to that realisation without help?

I think that the food industry, the availability of convenience food, the culture of emotional eating, and the thing that's never mentioned on these threads (excessive alcohol consumption, a bottle of wine every other night)....these all make it very tough for people to remain within the BMI scale or any other calibration of body health.

Therefore as a result, if people are going to be "stuck" at a weight, it's important to love oneself regardless.

It's just curious to me that does this kind of laudable and important self-love have an ultimate price somewhere along the line? Or should we as a society stop pushing for everyone to be within an 6-14 scale of dress sizes, and just recalibrate our thinking completely around bodies?

[dreamingdream]

Call it curvy, call it fat, just be happy and support body positivity.

[RabbityMcRabbit]

Oh seriously get to fuck OP, you're not "concerned" you just want to appear superior to them.

[Aclh13]

I am a size 16 after having high loads of steroids due to lung failure amongst other health issues, you have no idea what someone is going through, both physical and mental. You are judging someone else yet you are there with them all the time, you don't know environmental/financial implications ect. Your ignorance is appalling, they are actually an average size for a female body shape and its disappointing as a fellow woman you are not portraying body positivity and positive reinforcement as a way to encourage what you deem 'a healthier lifestyle'.

[WhatIsLife20]

Gymgirl, what a name 😂. I needed this tonight. Well you can't be a gym girl because none have been open for almost 3 months! Don't nicknames expire once the reason for them haven't been in use for 6 weeks as a rule?