To think a UK size 16-18 is not curvy but fat?

[GymGirl23]

Yes I know some will probably flame me for using the word fat but I'm concerned about some family members. The Mum is 5ft 4" with 3 daughters aged betwen 18 and 22 who are all a similar height. She and the eldest both take medication for High BP and the other 2 daughters are also heading that way.

The Mum said a while ago that it was 'great' they could swap clothes as they're all now a size 16-18! What bugs me is they are totally clueless about health topics and diet and the Mum has fed the girls crap diets all of their lives high in salt, fat and sugar. Even when they cook at home it's high in fat and sugar with huge portions! The worst part is she buries her head in the sand saying they're luckily not a fat family but are all just curvy girls and that it runs in the family along with High BP! The fact is they are all FAT and it's self inflicted and unfair on themselves. The girls are huge now with double chins and have no waists but hey they take great care with makeup, tan, hair and nails so that makes it OK then? Why can't they see what they're doing to themselves? My Mum says I shouldn't offer them advice as they get very offended if anyone ever suggested they were even slightly overweight but I would like to help them as I know alot about nutrition and keeping fit.

Are people who are that size truly happy with how they look and feel and do they believe they're not fat but have curves instead?

[Gwenhwyfar]

[quote Clymene]@Gwenhwyfar - were you a heifer and didn't realise until someone pointed it out? Did the fact you were shopping in Evans not give it away? [/quote]
At one point I was two sizes larger than a few years ago and hadn't noticed because it had happened gradually e.g. trousers that were loose at one point had gradually become too tight and some had been in the back of the wardrobe so I didn't know they didn't fit any more. Because I was buying new things every now and then I hadn't realised.

I also had a friend who had to be told she was overweight by her doctor. She hadn't realised just by looking at herself so it does happen.

[TheClitterati]

I know this will hurt you deeply to do so OP, but do MYOB.

[PixelatedLunchbox]

Size 16 and curvy.

[maybemaybeII]

I think a size 16-18 is fat, yes.

But it's not your place to offer unsolicited advice.

[CantSleepClownsWillEatMe]

You can try to couch it as concern and a desire to help but your disgust and disdain for them absolutely reeks from your OP. If we could see you I’ve no doubt you’d be curling your lip!

Your emphasis on they are all FAT and the implication it’s pointless bothering with makeup, hair and nails when they don’t possess the body shape you approve of, it just jumps off the screen. They don’t actually have to admit to you that they’re overweight, it’s no skin off your nose if they prefer to describe themselves as “curvy“ and I suspect your judgement of them isn’t as well hidden as you think

Maybe you should examine why you have such a strong reaction to their appearance and stop kidding yourself that this is concern for their health.

[LonginesPrime]

my point is if yoy had a family member who was endangering their life from another type of abuse such as alcohol, drugs etc would you genuinely not offer to help and advise them?

What would you say to help them if the issue were alcohol or drugs, OP?

Do you genuinely believe that lack of health advice is the problem?

[GymGirl23]

@AnxiousElephant77 I'm not a vile person for caring about my family. You are to say such a thing.
It seems everyone who's calling me names on here are the fat ones. What a surprise that is! Keep on kidding yourelves then.

[Clymene]

@disorganisedsecretsquirrel - do you think a family member telling you that you were fat would have made a difference? If you had a gastric sleeve fitted, you must have been a lot bigger than a size 18. How big did you get and what made you change?

I'm surprised @Gwenhwyfar. I always know when I'm putting on weight. I'm very surprised the whole 'clothes are too tight' thing isn't a big giveaway

[borntohula]

Well surely it depends on the individual but yes, if I was 16-18 I'd think i was fat but then I have 'fat days' at a size 10 too. It's not your business though is it.

[amijustparanoidorjuststoned]

@PixelatedLunchbox beautiful!

[icansmellburningleaves]

What are you the fat Police. Why don’t you try minding your own business.

[FOJN]

OP I agree you have received some blunt responses here but you are coming across as very judgemental. Your comments about you relatives body shape followed up with what appeared to be sarcastic comments about the attention they pay to their hair and make up do sound quite contemptuous. I would suggest you struggle with boundaries too, their bodies are none of your business, leave them alone.
I wouldn't try to offer unsolicited advice to anyone about their body or lifestyle, people aren"t stupid they usually know if they could make choices which would be better for their health. The reasons they don't are often complex and again none of your business.

[Tootletum]

I do find it strange for people to say that other people's obesity has nothing to do with them. One of the main costs to the NHS is from chronic conditions that are often linked to obesity. The leading cause of lifestyle cancers is now obesity. So, no, if you want to keep your friends and generally be polite, it's nothing to do with you - but if you want to be a healthier nation with a more affordable healthcare system, it certainly is.

[Sonichu]

"It seems everyone who's calling me names on here are the fat ones. What a surprise that is! Keep on kidding yourelves then."

Well duh, obviously these contemptible fatties lack your moral fibre and piety. I'm sure eating the odd salad will make them better people though.

[ChequerBoard]

If you 'mention' this I know who the biggest cow in the room would be and it's not your 3 size 16-18 relatives.

Check your attitude OP, it's horrible.

[SospanFrangipan]

Take your advice and stick it somewhere other than to people who don't ask for it.

[GameSetMatch]

It depends on your hight

[FOJN]

It seems everyone who's calling me names on here are the fat ones. What a surprise that is! Keep on kidding yourelves then.

Wow OP your lack of self awareness is staggering and you have absolutely revealed your contempt for anyone whose size you don"t approve of. You have been told commenting on people's weight will cause offence and then you"re surprised people are offended. I hope you are quite young and will mature.

[borntohula]

@Tootletum good thing we have doctors to advise us right?

[MagnoliaJustice]

What an unpleasant and judgemental OP.
Don't try and pretend you care about these relatives of yours.
You want Mumsnet posters to join you in pointing, mocking and ridiculing them for having the audacity to be larger than a size 10.

Incidentally, how do you know the posters disagreeing with you are the fat ones?

[RaininSummer]

At 5 foot 3 size 16/18 feels very fat to me. I am at least 3 stone overweight. Not your business though unless you really think they don't understand about healthy food.

[NaviSprite]

I’m sure they’re aware OP and your last post is pretty hateful. I’m down to a size 12 from a size 18/20 - thing is I predominantly put weight on around my bum, hips, thighs and not my stomach or upper body. So automatically stating a certain size is overweight without considering all the different shapes and sizes people come in is rather crass.

On the subject of wanting to ‘help’ - how often in life have you been offered unsolicited advice? To be honest, most people do not react well to it, if this family came to you and said “were thinking of losing weight as a family, any tips/advice?” Then advise away - if they don’t then no amount of bleating that you’re concerned for them will get through. Change can only occur when the person wants it - as you have mentioned your battle to lose weight, who decided to do that? Were you convinced by other people and their concern or did you decide for yourself that a change had to be made?

I’ll liken it to an Ex Smoker becoming vehemently anti smoking and lecturing others to stop. Are they wrong? No. Is smoking really bad for your health? Absolutely. But do any smokers want to hear from a person that used to be a smoker that suddenly they’re superior for having quit and therefore the current smoker should do the same? Never!

[ShebaShimmyShake]

Why do you think that they don't know that they're fat? How do you think any overweight person could fail to realise it in this society?

[Leflic]

The only thing you could possibly say would be along the lines of health ie blood sugar or fat or salt.
Anything subjective like curves and fat are as much down to your own issues as theirs.

[tilder]

Op, fat threads always go like this.

You can think it, you can't say it.

Fwiw I agree with you. 16-18 is fat. The word curvy is just there to make people think it's attractive. It's bad for your health. They might get away with it in their 20s and 30s, but it will catch up with them.

Its costing the NHS £££££. Therefore it is costing all of us £££££.

Being fat shortens lives.

You still can't say it. Dh is a hospital consultant. He sees patients all the time who are fat. They would not have the health issues they do if they were not fat. It really frustrates and upsets him.