To think a UK size 16-18 is not curvy but fat?

[GymGirl23]

Yes I know some will probably flame me for using the word fat but I'm concerned about some family members. The Mum is 5ft 4" with 3 daughters aged betwen 18 and 22 who are all a similar height. She and the eldest both take medication for High BP and the other 2 daughters are also heading that way.

The Mum said a while ago that it was 'great' they could swap clothes as they're all now a size 16-18! What bugs me is they are totally clueless about health topics and diet and the Mum has fed the girls crap diets all of their lives high in salt, fat and sugar. Even when they cook at home it's high in fat and sugar with huge portions! The worst part is she buries her head in the sand saying they're luckily not a fat family but are all just curvy girls and that it runs in the family along with High BP! The fact is they are all FAT and it's self inflicted and unfair on themselves. The girls are huge now with double chins and have no waists but hey they take great care with makeup, tan, hair and nails so that makes it OK then? Why can't they see what they're doing to themselves? My Mum says I shouldn't offer them advice as they get very offended if anyone ever suggested they were even slightly overweight but I would like to help them as I know alot about nutrition and keeping fit.

Are people who are that size truly happy with how they look and feel and do they believe they're not fat but have curves instead?

[LonginesPrime]

Are people who are that size truly happy with how they look and feel and do they believe they're not fat but have curves instead?

Some are happy, some aren't. It seems that your black-and-white thinking is impairing your ability to appreciate that people are different and not everyone shares your beliefs and values. The fact you think they're merely ignorant of the facts and that if you could just explain the science to them, they'd change their views is incredibly patronising.

Even if they are in denial, I'm sure you have blind spots about yourself too (notably your oddly obsessive saviour complex).

There are plenty of subtle ways to bring up the connection between joint pain and obesity, but they would require emotional intelligence.

[HoneysuckIejasmine]

YANBU, but YAB Insensitive I imagine. Curvy is a shape so you can be curvy and fat, or curvy and thin. Also you can indeed be fat and happy.

However, you are right that they are obese with that data and that it is likely due in part to their upbringing. Being obese is unhealthy and whilst generally going hand in hand with low fitness, that's not always the case.

Just because the average UK size is 16-18, that doesn't make it a good thing. The average ought to be much smaller.

Fwiw, I was size 22-24. I'm now a 14. It's bloody hard work and as pp said, it meant I had to totally examine and overhaul my relationship with food.

[9millioncansofbeans]

This cannot be real. If it is then I will say this -

Other people’s body shape has f**k all to do with you.

[Raella50]

OP, as you can see from this thread, weight it a touchy subject for lots of people and not one you should raise with other people. They are obviously quite overweight and must be aware of that fact. It sounds as though you are happy on your own body and with your own life choices so just enjoy those and leave others to make theirs.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

You're getting a pasting here, OP! I don't think there's much you can do. Your mum is right there. You'll cause huge offence if you talk to your family about this.

However, a generation ago it would have been unheard of for a woman aged 18-22 to be on high blood pressure medication because she is obese. I'd be very concerned about the health implications for anyone close to me. Obesity is leading to predictions that life expectancy may actually go down in the next few years. It's a factor in heart disease, diabetes, cancer, arthritis and all sorts of other conditions including COVID 19.

Don't know what we should do, but it's not going away.

[Laaalaaaa]

Oh fuck off. I’ll bet you’re one of the competitive under eaters on here who feels sick after a bite of pizza and is full for the rest of the week.

[TheCanterburyWhales]

I am a size 18 and I'm fat.

I'm also 5ft 10 so probably don't look that much overweight but I definitely am.

Whilst the OP should not try and intervene in any way with her relatives, and yes, keep her snout out, there is definitely something amiss in our society where being fat is becoming normalised and touted as OK. The vanity sizing in shops is a disgrace. I can get into. Next size 12. Yet I'm at least 3 stone overweight.

We've gone too far with this as a society and we do ourselves no favours embracing the fact we are overweight.

And it seems that nobody can discuss it without being accused of being fat-shaming.

[Clymene]

No one thinks that size is normal. All fat people know they're fat.

FWIW I've been a size 8 and a size 16. Am currently the latter. No fat person (and yes I'm fat) needs other people to tell them. We know. And so there is no point in you telling her. If she asks for your advice, then by all means knock yourself out. But until then stfu.

[Oneearringlost]

You're not listening are you?

[BramblyHedge]

HBP can run in families though. I've had it all my adult life and was a size 10 when diagnosed at age of 18.

[Gwenhwyfar]

@MotheringShites

I’m really surprised at these comments. If it was my sister and nieces I would be concerned too (I’m guessing that’s the relationship).

Surely the Coronavirus has shone a very harsh light on the fact that obesity can cause major health complications and the impact of being severely overweight is far more than just the way you look.

If you're surprised you clearly haven't been reading many MN threads on the issue.

The same things are trotted out every time e.g. 'overweight people always know they're overweight' - not true, 'you should never mention people's weight', 'thin people can be unhealthy too', etc. etc. Just mention certain words and you'll get called fat shaming.

[Chloemol]

Must admit if you approached me as that mother, with the attitude you have in your post I would be telling you where to go

What gives you the right to tell them what they should be doing? And it’s a well known fact that, like any addiction, they have to want to do something, otherwise it just won’t work

Keep your nose out unless they ask for advice

[RaspberryToupee]

In the last 4 years I’ve rotated through quite a few sizes, 10-20. I would probably say that a 14/16 is where I was happiest with how I looked and how my curves were. Yes, I’m overweight at a 14/16 but I was happy (or happier) with how my body looked. At a size 10 - I had no curves, my tits looked pancakes and my arse had disappeared. I walk quite a lot, so my calves stuck out more than my arse - it wasn’t a good look.

Regardless of how I feel in my body, how you feel in your body, how Wendy down the road feels in her body - you don’t get to tell your aunts and cousins how to feel in their bodies. Stay in your own lane. Mind your own business. Also fat shaming (which is exactly what you’re doing) is likely to have a negative impact on helping them address their issues with food and fitness. You telling them they’re fat will make them feel like utter shit, they will then try to make themselves feel better with food.

Judgement of others isn’t a healthy trait to have. Maybe you should work on your own inner and outer health before advising others.

[Branleuse]

It aint slim but its none of your business. Keep your beak out

[HostaFireAndIce]

Oh, I feel like it’s been a while since we’ve had a fatties thread! Is the pandemic over now?

[GeorgiaWeLoveYou]

I'm a size 14-16 and 5 ft 9. I checked my bmi recently and am in the healthy range so going by that, I'm not fat.

Leave these people alone and focus on your own life. You seem a very unhappy person.

[Mnthrowaway20202]

Why do people use curvy as a synonym for overweight? I thought curvy was supposed to be indicative of a certain figure (slim waist, wide hips) rather than a blanket term for plus size?

You can be slim with a flat stomach and curvy - it’s called an hourglass figure. Pear shapes too.

[Inthemuckheap]

You haven't done yourself any favours with your OP. If you'd approached it from a healthy pov rather than showing yourself as a 'fattist'.

FWIW I know a couple of people who are size 6 and they both eat extremely unhealthily. One smokes like a chimney as well. Guess that'd be ok in your book though as they're slim?

[managedmis]

If they are only 5'5, then yes, they are fat

[Gwenhwyfar]

"Why do people use curvy as a synonym for overweight?"

It's not a synonym, it's a euphemism to make it sound better.

[Clymene]

@Gwenhwyfar - were you a heifer and didn't realise until someone pointed it out? Did the fact you were shopping in Evans not give it away?

[CatRamsey]

Are you/have you been fat OP?

When I was that size I didn't like myself that much and called myself fat. But now I'm even bigger - size 22 and almost 16 stone. So I would kill to be a size 16-18 again. I now view a size 16 as curvy but really it all depends on how they carry it.

The way you talk about their double chins makes me think you're ashamed/embarrassed of the way they look, which really has nothing to do with you anyway. I beat myself up daily for my weight so if I thought someone was speaking about me this way I'd probably feel like ending my life.

The food they eat might not be great and perhaps they could use some support to eat better meals, but this post seems to be more about their appearance than concern for their health.

How about you just focus on your own life and leave these poor girls alone.

[FlyAwayLikeABird]

I've gone up to a size 16 and I'm about 5 foot 7. My legs get tired, my bellys huge, I have back rolls and bingo wings, I lack energy, my feet hurt, I can't run. I am fat. I need to loose weight.

[GymGirl23]

@MotheringShites thank you! They're a lovely friendly bunch aren't they?! Just for the record I've not said anything or offered any kinf of advice to them. But my point is if yoy had a family member who was endangering their life from another type of abuse such as alcohol, drugs etc would you genuinely not offer to help and advise them? Why should overeating junk food be any different when it's causing health problems? Unless you've been living under a rock during the pandemic everyone knows how dangerous obesity is and not just if you catch Covid19. That's the one good thing, it's got people talking about nutrition and fitness again and making changes for the better.