To think a UK size 16-18 is not curvy but fat?

[GymGirl23]

Yes I know some will probably flame me for using the word fat but I'm concerned about some family members. The Mum is 5ft 4" with 3 daughters aged betwen 18 and 22 who are all a similar height. She and the eldest both take medication for High BP and the other 2 daughters are also heading that way.

The Mum said a while ago that it was 'great' they could swap clothes as they're all now a size 16-18! What bugs me is they are totally clueless about health topics and diet and the Mum has fed the girls crap diets all of their lives high in salt, fat and sugar. Even when they cook at home it's high in fat and sugar with huge portions! The worst part is she buries her head in the sand saying they're luckily not a fat family but are all just curvy girls and that it runs in the family along with High BP! The fact is they are all FAT and it's self inflicted and unfair on themselves. The girls are huge now with double chins and have no waists but hey they take great care with makeup, tan, hair and nails so that makes it OK then? Why can't they see what they're doing to themselves? My Mum says I shouldn't offer them advice as they get very offended if anyone ever suggested they were even slightly overweight but I would like to help them as I know alot about nutrition and keeping fit.

Are people who are that size truly happy with how they look and feel and do they believe they're not fat but have curves instead?

To answer OP's question when I was a size 16 I was fat. I don't want to be a size 16 again. It was tiring and I felt crap. My knees hurt and they don't now. But I"m not sure someone telling me I was fat would have helped.

@Gwenhwyfar well, that’s my point. The word is being misused in this context

Did a fat woman sit on you recently or something?

Well I’ve some fat free popcorn if anyone wants some,,,🤣

Op they are happy, they don’t want your advice or your help.

Accept that and wind your neck in.

How would you feel if someone offered unsolicited advice about your lack of emotional intelligence?

( just remember being slim doesn’t make you kind, intelligent or interesting. Those are things we ALL have to work at)

At size 16, I have a low HR, a very normal BP. I can run, cycle and swim long distance. I can lift heavy.

So fuck off, try not to make anyone else feel shit about their bodies yeah.

Fat shaming under the guise of “caring”

You're right, they are fat.

It's not your business though so not your place to comment.

I have been a size 10 and a size 20, and obviously everything in between. They are calling themselves curvy and giving excuses because they are either not ready to change or don’t want to. They are all adults. It’s totally up to them. A lifetime of bad choices isn’t going going to change because a well meaning relative gives some nutrition advice. Sometimes it’s about more than knowing about eating well. Best stay out of it.

No-one wants 'to help' fat people by telling them they're fat.

They know. You just want to feel superior that you're not such a lazy, gross fatty.

I'm a size 16, and I would absolutely like to lose weight, but I don't think I'm fat, no.

You sound like an absolutely vile person and I would be heartbroken if my friends or family posted something like this about me.

Oh and in case you missed the point about my post, it’s that you have no idea what their health is like just by looking at their outsides.

until I was 35, I was always overweight. I think the biggest dress size was 14, but from age around 10 I always felt uncomfortable. I genuinely didn't know it was within my power to do anything about it. I thought I was big boned, even though I knew I ate too much. I think it is possible for people to not have any understanding of food.
However, it is a very difficult conversation to have. I am not sure if I would have taken it in, I do know I would have been mortified. There is a possibility that had someone asked me to join them in some very simple exercise that didn't require skill or to be in a swimming costume, I would have gone. I adore exercise these days, so I've no doubt that if I had gone, it would have transformed my life earlier. On reflection, that would have been a wonderful gift for me.

I’m 5’9’’ at a 16 I am actually a healthy bmi, so you’re wrong despite claiming to be an expert on nutrition-it’s not always overweight.

I would consider a size 16 overweight in most cases, yes. If it is the average size of a UK woman, that doesn't mean it isn't overweight, that just means the average woman is overweight. But unless someone is specifically asking for your input in matters of their weight, then it's not really your place to get involved.

I think what we are all trying to say op, is if you voice your opinion to these people they will loathe you forever and possibly never speak to you again.

Do you struggle a bit with social skills generally? How do you think it would feel to be told that you are fat and it will affect your health?

You’re getting a roasting here OP but quite a lot of posters have written thoughtful posts to explain why this isn’t a good idea, even if your intentions are good. You aren’t listening to any of them. If this is reflective of your manner IRL I don’t think you have the communication skills and the self-awareness to handle this incredibly delicate subject.

I am with you OP !

Hate the 'fat shaming' logo... it's nonsense and doesn't address a huge problem in this country .

We can all say 'don't get on their case' but as a former fatty I can say for sure that being a fat teenager is fucking MISERY !! Why would you want to put your kids through that. ???

I couldn't do it on my own. The fantastic NHS helped me with a gastric sleeve. I have been given a new chance of life and will NEVER fuck it up.. now a size 10/12 and will stick to the rules for the rest of my life. Exercise for my heart and eat good home cooked healthy food. I am 7 years down the line and the difference to my yo-yo dieting life is immeasurable.

I don't know how you go about it.. but 'you're fine babe ' and 'live the life you want to live' is a death sentence.

You can't bring it up. But you're not wrong.
I'm 5'5 and a size 16-18. I am fat. I hate it.
I was always very slim size 6-8 until I developed fibromyalgia, a combination of medication related weight gain and my inability to exercise as most people can made me put on 5st that I can't lose.
Just because I can't change it doesn't mean I don't know what a hideous flabby mess I look.

You can’t offer advice unless it’s asked in these circumstances, I think.
You will probably get flamed here op, brace yourself! FWIW, I agree that size 16-18 is fat. Not curvy. I’m curvy, and very much smaller than 16-18. Curvy is in reference to shape, I don’t get why over weight women call themselves curvy, especially if they have lost the hourglass shape due to weight.
Although, I have to say, your post does read as bitchy and full of contempt for this family, but I get what you’re saying

I am size 16 to 18. Yes I know I'm overweight. Yes I know it is unhealthy. Yes I would like to be thinner. No op. I and people like me do not need your advice. We know we should take action but ...do you know what ...there are worse faults to have than that.
Have a good day

You can be a size 18 and have a curvy hour-glass figure, or you can be straight up and down, or you can have a bulge in the middle. I'm somewhere between 2 & 3. Everybody is different

Surely you knew when you posted this how it would go down? What's the point? Yes, of course they're bday, bit if fixing it was a easy as "oh well now you've told me I've been doing it wrong for my whole life, I'll change", then half the population wouldn't be overweight.

@Likethebattle

I’m 5’9’’ at a 16 I am actually a healthy bmi, so you’re wrong despite claiming to be an expert on nutrition-it’s not always overweight.

BMI isn’t always accurate but 5’9 is quite tall for a woman in a lot of cases.

I think you mistyped your last sentence. Rather than

“Are people who are that size truly happy with how they look and feel and do they believe they're not fat but have curves instead?”

did you mean to type

“Are passive aggressive twunts who make a big deal of going to the gym and fat shaming others truly happy with the way they see themselves and do they honestly believe they are being helpful?”