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To not let friend's DC use my car seat??

(352 Posts)
bubblegumbottles Thu 28-Feb-19 21:42:37

Okay, I'm half expecting to get a good old MN lashing for this but here goes.

The incident has come and gone, I'm just genuinely curious to know if I'm completely bonkers or if anyone else would have felt the same.

Recently decided to go for a day trip with a friend of mine and her 1 year old DS. She doesn't drive so I agreed to drive and we agreed that she would bring the car seat she uses in her mum's car to put in mine for the day.
When I arrived at her house, she had forgotten to pick up the car seat from her mum's. When I asked what we were going to do, she said 'oh well I just assumed DS could use yours'.

I'm 32 weeks pregnant with my first DC and so have had a new car seat that my MIL bought us in the car to practise getting it in and out etc. I was a bit put out by this suggestion as it's my first child and quite a lot of money has been spent on this car seat, I really dislike the idea of my DC not being the first to use it. Friend's DS is like any other kid and makes a mess very easily so I didn't really fancy the idea of my unborn DC's things being used and soiled before she's even had a chance to use them!

Now my friend lives right by a big Argos so I offered to nip round there and pick up (and pay for) a new car seat for about £40 so not the fanciest but will do the job and she could then keep the car seat as a spare so she doesn't have to keep swapping the car seat out of her mum's every time someone else is driving.
Friend told me this was a 'fucking ridiculous idea' and that I was 'just being precious' about my baby's things. 'She's not even born yet, she doesn't care who uses her stuff'. And then went on to say I obviously wasn't bothered about her DS's safety to put him in a cheap car seat!

AIBU to be completely shocked by this or is my friend being a CF?!

Hittapotamus Thu 28-Feb-19 21:43:56

You're being PFB I'm afraid.

thefirst48 Thu 28-Feb-19 21:45:12

I can understand where your coming from with it being your first but you should of just let the child use the seat. Things do clean off.

Faster Thu 28-Feb-19 21:45:39

I would have let her use the car seat.
And I wouldn’t be wanting my child in a shitty £40 seat, regardless of if someone was paying for it.

GreyRoses Thu 28-Feb-19 21:46:19

No, you're not bonkers @bubblegumbottles

I remember feeling exactly the same as you before my first baby was born (well, and subsequent ones!). You carefully choose things and imagine the first time your baby is in them.

I'd have been unhappy too because of course car seats get yucky, but they should be lovely and new for when the newborn is first in them ☺️

HoldOnToHope Thu 28-Feb-19 21:46:33

It might be a bit PFB, but I'm currently 37 weeks with my first and would be exactly the same, so you're not alone!
Plus, it seems a bit CF for her to say that you don't care by offering to pay for a cheaper car seat when she couldn't even be bothered bringing one with her 🤷🏻‍♀️

NuffSaidSam Thu 28-Feb-19 21:47:11 are being a bit unreasonable, but I would feel exactly the same tbh!

Lollypop701 Thu 28-Feb-19 21:47:36

Your car seat, your first baby, your choice. Your friends choice to ‘forget’ car seat and turn down your offer. Yanbu

WinkysTeatowel Thu 28-Feb-19 21:47:52

Whilst I can see where you were coming from the seat wouldn't get mucky from one use. You could have said no eating and would have been fine.

A bit PFB I think.

arethereanyleftatall Thu 28-Feb-19 21:48:11

I would have let her borrow the car seat without a second thought tbh.
But, the fact that you were prepared to go and buy her one was really nice of you and should have detailed to her the strength of your feelings.

BakerBear Thu 28-Feb-19 21:48:13

I think it is abit silly for her to bring a car seat when you already had one. As long as her dc didn’t eat in the car seat then it wouldn’t of looked any different

Thistles24 Thu 28-Feb-19 21:48:41

Nope, I don’t think you are being PFB. We had similar, where we visited family with a new baby. We had to fly, so they bought the group 1/2 stage seat for their baby ready for us to use while we were there. Turns out DS1 gets travel sick on long journeys, and vomited all over it. The smell and mess was horrific, and I felt awful that it had happened before their child even used it. So I think you were well within your rights to say no!

EmeraldShamrock Thu 28-Feb-19 21:49:25

Wow. Yes YABU and OTT PFB. I am with your friend.

Stayawayfromitsmouth Thu 28-Feb-19 21:49:27

Bonkers I'm afraid. However, I would have been embarrassingly the same with my pfb.
You could have specified no food/drink. The covers do also come off to wash too.

editingfairy Thu 28-Feb-19 21:49:58

Would a 1yo even fit in a newborn car seat?

Yanbu. I’d want my seat new for my dc. She forgot hers...

Newtobusiness Thu 28-Feb-19 21:50:48

I think you're being a bit precious... All that hassle of going to buy (a cheap) car seat from Argos when you already have one ready to go, is a bit silly.

I do understand though. I would be quietly, a bit miffed, but would just suck it up for my friend.

Soontobe60 Thu 28-Feb-19 21:51:34

I think she's the cf for even thinking she could use your never been used before seat! I'd have nipped round to her mums to pick up her seat. I would most certainly not have let her use mine.

KatnissMellark Thu 28-Feb-19 21:52:09

Bonkers. I quite enjoyed testing out my stuff with my friend who had a DC few months before my PFB. It meant when she travelled to see me she didn't have to bring one million and one things with her. And I learnt how to use everything in advance. Win win.

PixieDust20 Thu 28-Feb-19 21:52:14

I agree with you! No way would I let someone use my babies car seat when they haven't used it themselves. The only person making her child unsafe is her 🤨

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon Thu 28-Feb-19 21:52:22

It's a no from me. Next time it might be your new high chair /buggy!!

Thequaffle Thu 28-Feb-19 21:53:48

I would have felt super annoyed but would probably have let her use it. Wouldn’t have been happy about it though. confused

Barrenfieldoffucks Thu 28-Feb-19 21:53:58

It wouldn't have occurred to me to not let her use it tbh. Buying a shitty car seat(abd they do tend to be at that price, there have been all sorts of reports on it) was a kind gesture but I wouldn't use one for my child, and the waste of money/resources would drive me mad. Especially when you have a seat sat there unused.

user1457017537 Thu 28-Feb-19 21:54:05

I wouldn’t have let her use it and, no, I wouldn’t feel bad about it.

porridgeface Thu 28-Feb-19 21:54:24

I wouldn't have wanted someone else to use it first either but don't know if I would have had the balls to say anything!

DappledThings Thu 28-Feb-19 21:54:41

I think you're being ridiculous. There was a similar thread a few months ago where a pregnant woman was outraged her nephew slept in the cot before her baby did. My nephew slept in DS's cot before he was born because he was there and needed a nap.

Can't imagine caring about that or the car seat. It's just a practical object needed for a child who needs it at that time. I don't get it.

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