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Wedding Invite specifies no smoking

(281 Posts)
Busholive Wed 06-Feb-19 12:43:11

AIBU? I'm a bit miffed. I by no means chain smoke, but might have one or two outside at a party.

My cousin is getting married soon and the invites request that people don't smoke within the grounds of the church or the grounds of the reception venue. I'm not going to kick up a fuss, I just feel like its overkill.

uncomfortablydumb53 Wed 06-Feb-19 14:26:42

If the reception is in the barn it's a fire risk and who wants to pick up fag butts the morning after? I'm an ex smoker

Mountainsoutofmolehills Wed 06-Feb-19 14:27:17

everyone will be smoking somewhere illicitly as usual. It's always the same. You will meet people and socialise more due to secret smoking.

00100001 Wed 06-Feb-19 14:28:31

Give up smoking - then you won;'t be offended or put out or anything :p

RomanyRoots Wed 06-Feb-19 14:28:31

People aren't just not going to smoke.
In fact the chances are they'll be away from the reception for longer than if they could just smoke outside.
They'll just take their drinks and socialise away from the venue, they could even find a nice local pub with smoking outside and not bother with the reception.
First dance, cutting cake and speeches are usually a sign for the smokers to depart grin

DrCoconut Wed 06-Feb-19 14:28:48

I had no smoking even though it was still allowed indoors at the time. I didn't want my dress ruined as I planned to reuse it (not a typical wedding dress). I guess venues are increasingly strict now too though.

00100001 Wed 06-Feb-19 14:31:37

" Yes - smoking is foul BUT it isn’t illegal and still a human right if you’re an adult."

Pretty sure smoking isn't a Human Right.... it's a choice you can make as an adult, but it's not a "right" and it's certainly not a Human Right. confused

OrdinarySnowflake Wed 06-Feb-19 14:34:42

Bobaboutwhat - it's not a right to smoke - if a venue want to ban smoking, they are entitled to do so. All they can do is tell you to leave though, they can't fine you. But in the cousin's case, they can put in their contract if the staff have to clean up after smokers who've left butts about, they will charge them more.

I think the no smoking at all on the grounds of a venue thing will become more common as smokers reduce in number and companies don't feel the need to provide facilities to keep the same income. (Younger people aren't taking up smoking in the same rates as previous generations so it's getting rarer.)

PCohle Wed 06-Feb-19 14:40:36

"Smoking is a human right" grin

OrdinarySnowflake Wed 06-Feb-19 14:45:01

RomanyRoots - you do seem to assume that the bulk of the guests will smoke though - it's really not the case anymore, it's less than 20% of all adults in the UK smoke. (And then it varies where you are in the country and class, many people live in areas with much lower rates than that).

It's unlikely if the bulk of the wedding guests were known to be smokers, the couple would have this rule /pick a venue with this rule. Chances are, most don't smoke, so they didn't need to factor them in.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth Wed 06-Feb-19 14:49:39

If I tell someone not to smoke in my house I expect them to respect my rules.

Venues have exactly the same rights to make the same rules.

Babyroobs Wed 06-Feb-19 14:50:18

YABU. Disgusting habit and I'm not surprised she doesn't want people smoking at her wedding. As others have said its probably venue and church rules.

ifonly4 Wed 06-Feb-19 15:02:34

I hate the smell of smoke and would rather not inhale it for health reasons. Thinking back, not one person who came to our wedding smoked - we are very lucky!

Amongstthestars Wed 06-Feb-19 15:04:27

Such a good idea. It’s a revolting habit and all of those wedding hugs whilst smelling smoke through flowery perfume/aftershave is ghastly

Igotthemheavyboobs Wed 06-Feb-19 15:06:20

I think it may stop the inside/outside divide that happens at most weddings/parties.

squeezysparklyballs Wed 06-Feb-19 15:12:27

What a sanctimonious thing to put on an invitation.

You can't smoke indoors, the venues will have signs up about where it is/isn't permitted to smoke. What is the point in putting it on the invitation?

I don't smoke, btw.

Purplecatshopaholic Wed 06-Feb-19 15:13:27

I hope the bride and groom realise that all the smokers will bugger off to a local pub if they cant smoke near the venue....

bingoitsadingo Wed 06-Feb-19 15:20:49

If this was a wedding in my circle I would fully expect the smokers to end up congregating on the road outside the venue. Probably bonding over how unreasonable the bride/groom/venue/whoever are!

I don't smoke, FWIW, and I'd find it incredibly rude. But I'd be amazed if they didn't.

Smoking is not an unusual habit. banning it even in the grounds seems overkill to me, although I appreciate all the reasons outlined for doing so.

Rainbunny Wed 06-Feb-19 15:24:37

It sounds like they've been given a strict warning about it from the venue people and they may be worried about being charged extra/losing a deposit if guests smoke.

AriadnePersephoneCloud Wed 06-Feb-19 15:29:40

As someone who had to pick up heaps of cigarette butt's from the floor after my reception (still in my wedding dress). I'm all in favour. We had a reception at the church hall who said they would turn a blind eye as long as it was cleared up but I wish I'd just said no!

Coronapop Wed 06-Feb-19 15:39:44

Consider it an opportunity to give up.

CatG85 Wed 06-Feb-19 15:45:24

I like this idea. It's a wedding, it's nice to have everyone celebrating together rather than outside smoking which seems to happen at a lot of events like this.

BarbedBloom Wed 06-Feb-19 15:46:37

When we were looking at venues for our wedding a few years old most of them told us smoking on the grounds and confetti weren’t allowed and that they did enforce it. While we were taking photos after the service someone did light up and the staff asked them to leave the grounds until they were finished. It is the cleanup I would imagine and the confetti was apparently due to wildlife

BarbedBloom Wed 06-Feb-19 15:48:39

*few years ago

RomanyRoots Wed 06-Feb-19 15:49:01

I wonder about the outside contractors too, unless the venue use their own.
I suppose you'd have to tell everyone you booked their staff can't smoke on breaks.
I suppose there's nothing stopping people smoking in their cars.

OrdinarySnowflake Wed 06-Feb-19 16:05:47

Why would outside contractors struggle with no smoking on the grounds? Schools manage fine with outside contractors not smoking anywhere on the grounds. Those who want to smoke just have to leave the grounds. Off the grounds is fine, cleaning that up isn't the staff's problem.

If it is the venues decision, then is it ruder to let people just turn up unprepared and then find out, or warn in advance, so those it's a problem for can prepare/decline?

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