Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 11 12

Original poster

Wedding Invite specifies no smoking

280 replies

Busholive · 06/02/2019 12:43

AIBU? I'm a bit miffed. I by no means chain smoke, but might have one or two outside at a party.

My cousin is getting married soon and the invites request that people don't smoke within the grounds of the church or the grounds of the reception venue. I'm not going to kick up a fuss, I just feel like its overkill.

OP posts:

Mumshappy · 06/02/2019 13:53

FlyingGiraffeBox i knew id used the wrong word there.

Hillarious · 06/02/2019 13:54

I'm guessing it's all down to cigarette butts - they are litter - and fire regulations. Very sensible.

Also, I hadn't realised how tacky it looked for a bride to smoke, until I saw SIL at her own wedding. She was totally pissed, too.

AnnieOH1 · 06/02/2019 13:55

Totally normal at my church but then we aren't supposed to smoke as members anyway. Generally members with non-member family and friends would forewarn them that there is no smoking and (depending on their personal views and reception venue) that the wedding is likely dry. (Always the case if the reception is at the church too, I've seen dry and not at external venues!)

userlotsanumbers · 06/02/2019 13:57

Good job, that venue. Why do smokers think that dropping discarded fag ends all over is acceptable? Why is it NOT litter? I very rarely, almost never see a smoker pick up a discarded fag end, they really don't think about it - they're entitled to smoke, it's their right etc - and their right also to let us all live in rubbish strewn streets. Lovely.

surreygirl1987 · 06/02/2019 13:57

Good. Wish more events were like that. It’s incredibly selfish to smoke near other people, even outdoors. I’m glad none of my friends or family are stupid enough to smoke.

Purplecatshopaholic · 06/02/2019 13:59

Totally see the issue with cigarette butts. If you are going to smoke, pick them up and bin them. When friends of mine come round who smoke they automatically go outside (without my asking) and pick up their butts when finished which I really appreciate. Still think having a 'rule' is a bit much but as I say, at least everyone knows in advance

Jaxhog · 06/02/2019 14:01

I don't see why someone can't go outside the reception venue, not the church gardens.

Because smokers don't pick up their fag ends, which means someone else has to. Because smokers will light up next to you when outside, regardless of whether you want to breathe their smoke or not. Because smokers will pop-out for a quick smoke, then bring the vile and disgusting smokey smell indoors. They can't smell it but, believe me, the rest of us can.

RomanyRoots · 06/02/2019 14:01

Why do people assume fag ends would be dropped.
I've rarely dropped one on the floor. If there are no bins i put mine in a tissue until I find a bin.
I'd just walk away from the venue a bit, they might find everyone chatting outside off the premises with their drink and a fag.
I bet the venue is empty.

FindPrimeLorca · 06/02/2019 14:02

at the no deodorant rule. If your asthma is getting triggered by my unscented Mitchum roll-on then you’re definitely too close.

LongWalkShortPlank · 06/02/2019 14:02

It's quite entitled really to assume you should be able to. It stinks, the smell is carried with you and everyone you mingle with. It also means people are outside during speeches and pictures and cake cutting as they've popped off for a quick cigarette. This is someone ELSE'S day. You choosing to smoke is a personal problem, not the bride or the venues issue. And there are a lot of non smoking venues these days, including churches strangely.

Saharafordessert · 06/02/2019 14:06

Smoking is fast becoming very socially unacceptable
Good on the bride and groom.....their day, their rules!

joanmcc · 06/02/2019 14:08

Why do people assume fag ends would be dropped.

We see fag butts everywhere else people smoke.

Mayrhofen · 06/02/2019 14:08

I think it is OK, beats fag ends on the ground and a crowd of people having a puff in the corner of the photos. There is nothing worse than people stood in a huddle outside a venue puffing away.

Sorry, you can tell I'm an ex-smoker can't you

EmNetta · 06/02/2019 14:11

'm surprised so few people mention the extra insurance cost of permitting smoking, even in the grounds.

Venues could hardly start charging smokers extra to cover this cost as well as the necessary cleaning-up, so much better to warn them in advance.

diddl · 06/02/2019 14:12

"Why do people assume fag ends would be dropped."

Ah, bless you!

lmusic87 · 06/02/2019 14:13

Great idea, I would do the same

Biggerknickersagain · 06/02/2019 14:14

Why do people assume fag ends would be dropped.

Because of the thousands I have picked up being a porter at a wedding venue? And that's not an exaggeration.
I'm a smoker but I totally get why my venue banned it, it took anywhere up to an hour to clean up outside, not to mention damage to plants and wooden furniture/structures by cigs being either left to burn or being put out. And we had a shelter and bins - people still smoked everywhere, and others complained. Plus it wasn't fun being told to fuck off several times when asking ppl to use the designated area.
It's not policing behaviour, it's a business decision, it was costing the company money.

Crunchymum · 06/02/2019 14:17

I'd assume the venue is because it's a fire hazard.

What exactly does a "wedding porter" do? Please.

rebelrosie12 · 06/02/2019 14:18

Brilliant! This should become a thing!!

DailyMailFail101 · 06/02/2019 14:20

Wish I’d thought of that for my wedding 🤔

namechanger2019 · 06/02/2019 14:21

Oh what a good idea. Nobody should have to put up with fag ash Lils on their wedding day.

MeredithGrey1 · 06/02/2019 14:22

Yes - smoking is foul BUT it isn’t illegal and still a human right if you’re an adult.

It is not a human right, a venue asking people not to smoke is not akin to breaching actual human rights. That would be like having a wedding at a dry venue and complaining that its your "human right" to have a glass of wine.

As most people have said, I guess this is a venue rule, rather than the couple, but even if it is the couple, I always think people can request anything for their wedding (whether its child free, smoke free, abroad etc.), as long as they accept people might chose not to come because of it, and don't complain when/if that happens.

OrdinarySnowflake · 06/02/2019 14:24

RomeyRoots - people assume fag butts will be dropped because whenever you allow people to smoke in an area, fag butts are dropped. Always. Even if there is appropriate places to put them. If you tidy yours away, you are very unusual.

When you say the venue will be empty - that rather assumes the bulk of the guests smoke - but increasingly, smokers are in the minority. The OP might only be amongst 1 or 2 guests who smoke. Thinking back to our wedding, of the 70 or so guests, none of them smoke now. There's a couple of 'easily led' who might join someone else, but would never actually buy a packet and lighter to bring with them.

Biggerknickersagain · 06/02/2019 14:24

@Crunchymum

It's not 'wedding porter' it's porter at a wedding (and conference, party etc) venue.
And in hospitality 'porter' is a pseudonym for 'dogs body' I shift all the furniture into place, put any decoration up, tidy and clear up after, work the bar, wait on....... Basically I do a bit of everything in preparation for, during and after a wedding or function. It's fairly well paid though for hospitality as I'm often left on my own as it all winds down etc.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 06/02/2019 14:26

If the reception is in the barn it's a fire risk and who wants to pick up fag butts the morning after? I'm an ex smoker

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 11 12